tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-463655558550518858.post9175455445715780069..comments2023-09-29T04:55:41.715-06:00Comments on A Deliberate Life: Chaos vs. Stability...a major factor in winning or losingChristinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13708815560712267698noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-463655558550518858.post-22003318703183700972017-03-30T10:56:26.892-06:002017-03-30T10:56:26.892-06:00Hi Christine, it was nice to read your post today....Hi Christine, it was nice to read your post today. yes, you always give me stuff to think about. When I read stuff like this it now reminds me of my nephew and his wife as the mental abuse people heap on each other is I think often far worse than physical abuse. I wish they could see past their own self loathing, dysfunction, insecurities and start to build each other up instead of tear each other down :( sadly like seems to attract like. bbubblybhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06423578980112090148noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-463655558550518858.post-82687890403467428412017-03-21T22:06:15.640-06:002017-03-21T22:06:15.640-06:00@jill, thank Jill..and actually lately I have been...@jill, thank Jill..and actually lately I have been thinking about it.Christinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13708815560712267698noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-463655558550518858.post-71045690371752251772017-03-21T22:05:40.770-06:002017-03-21T22:05:40.770-06:00Hi deb, yes..self care is a huge part of my daily ...Hi deb, yes..self care is a huge part of my daily plan these days. The walking is one piece, and self defense class, deliberate relaxation etc. Yes, maladaptive is a choice word. They cling to toxic people yet quit on personal goals and boundaries because they feel it's selfish. It's almost like a long term hostage situation...Stockholm syndrome with societal approval. It's quite interesting.Christinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13708815560712267698noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-463655558550518858.post-18925760684754448192017-03-21T11:02:01.459-06:002017-03-21T11:02:01.459-06:00I love it when you post - you have a way of seeing...I love it when you post - you have a way of seeing things that others don't. Have you ever thought of writing a book about your experiences? If not, you should definitely consider it! Jill A https://www.blogger.com/profile/18314858719315620032noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-463655558550518858.post-27115082765565292152017-03-21T05:26:14.455-06:002017-03-21T05:26:14.455-06:00Nice to see you post, Christine!
It sounds like ...Nice to see you post, Christine! <br /><br />It sounds like you've achieved some goals you were aiming for. Congratulations!<br /><br />Your posts holds a lot to chew o--as usual. :)<br /><br />Maladaptive coping skills are an interesting thing. What people often miss is something you've spotted--those "Maladaptive" coping skills were exactly what was needed to survive. They were perfectly "adaptive" in the situation at hand.<br /><br />It's hard to figure out what is and what is not helpful now that the landscape has changed...if it has really changed...and how much it has changed and how much it has stayed the same. Tricky stuff.<br /><br />And that quitting to soon thing? Trickiest of all. Most women who have a domestic violence history have learned that they didn't quit SOON ENOUGH. They stuck with abusive partners, believing that if they just kept trying, things would get better. Didn't. Now, they're being told that they give up too soon. Like I said, tricky stuff. <br /><br />Christine, domestic violence work is one of the hardest fields you can choose to work in. Keeping "normal" spaces for yourself iskey. Those walks with your daughter are essential-for you, for her, and for your work.<br /><br />I'll keep you in my prayers. (Just prayed for you yesterday, as a matter of fact, so very cool to see this post today.) I hope all is well.<br /><br />Deb<br /><br />Deb Willbefreehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17333025661115475404noreply@blogger.com