um,
I walked less than a mile tonight...and consider it a victory.
It is 8 degrees outside. With 'wind chill' it's "0 or less"...
whatever that means..just quoting our 'weatherman'...
He probably couldn't guess well enough to make it seem like he knows what he's doing.
I remember this kind of cold. I grew up in Michigan. It reminds me of December's 'lake effect snows'.
It is full of humidity.
It pierces you. It freezes the hair in your nose. The word 'frostbite' has real meaning to a michigander. Except the snow there is wet. It makes great snowmen, and forts and ice balls....
ahhh, ice balls. Snow balls with a punch. lol.
If you can't give someone a mild concussion, what fun IS it?
We used to live in the upper peninsula, right on the edge of Lake superior on copper harbor. It would snow so deep and the wind would create huge drifts on the side of our house.
We could climb out the upstairs windows and slide off the roof and into the drift.
It was awesome.
Right across the way was copper harbor and we would slide down the hill in front of our house, across the road...down a rather steep hill on the other side and out onto the lake. It was 1977-1978. Amazing amounts of snow.
I lost feeling in my legs half way around the block.
I may put another pair of pants on and a much better scarf and do another lap.
I am going to do 100 situps and 50 pushups.
so basically 1.5 miles walking, situps and pushups...calories burned....2 maybe???
I can't get to the gym, the roads are a mess.
Here in Colorado they put down dirt so you can get 'traction'.
Which makes nearly no difference whatsoever.
You get dirty ice.
There are times I miss michigan, cause if there is one thing Michigan does well, it's clear the snow from the road...it's called practice. They get lots.
They don't use dirt.
They use salt.
You know why? It works.
Hope all is well with you,
Hugs,
walking in a winter wonderland,
Chris
12.07.2009
12.06.2009
one day vacay....
hey all,
skipped the gym today for a good cause.
Christmas decoration, and all manner of organizing.
Kept my calories at or below 1500.
Don't want to blog a bunch...got a bunch left to do.
Tomorrow, going to do school do the gym and pick out a tree with the kids.
Then we decorate.
Hope everyone had a great sunday...
sorry I won't be doing the rounds...I just haven't got the time today.
Will stop by tommorrow though.
Have a great night.
skipped the gym today for a good cause.
Christmas decoration, and all manner of organizing.
Kept my calories at or below 1500.
Don't want to blog a bunch...got a bunch left to do.
Tomorrow, going to do school do the gym and pick out a tree with the kids.
Then we decorate.
Hope everyone had a great sunday...
sorry I won't be doing the rounds...I just haven't got the time today.
Will stop by tommorrow though.
Have a great night.
12.05.2009
December 5th...Real Love....
Well, lets get the diet and exercise portion of this post out of the way...
It is, after all, primarily a diet and exercise blog...that allows me to blab about other things.
So, I went to the gym and hopped on Christian....I did 45 minutes and burned 475 calories.
Then I walked for a quarter mile around the track before I realized that if I did the whole mile, I might burn about 80 more calories, but I would also end up with pneumonia.
It's a little cold here in Colorado.
I went back in and did 100 situps and stretched.
I look better.
I don't think of this as a statement of conceit.
It's just a fact.
I look better at 194 lbs than I did at 262 lbs.
I may attract more male attention.
I just realized something today.
Male attention based on looks is empty.
I see older women who come into the gym with full makeup and hair. They hang around, walking slowly on the treadmill so as not to break a sweat. Dayglo pink exercise bra with tight lycra bottoms. They are fishing for a date.
I almost feel like they should have a sign that says;
'prime specimen, well preserved" on them.
I understand you have to put yourself out there...the older you get the harder it can be.
It's good to 'keep yourself up."
If you are trying to date, that is great. I mean you've got to bait the hook so to speak.
So maybe they manage to reel in a man.
Then if the man is a decent sort, he will want to get to know you.
The best way to find that out is to tell him no the first few months.
See if he sticks around...if he doesn't, then generally, he didn't want to know you...he just wanted to hit it.
Every time I see these ladies I am glad I am married.
My husband and I have been married for 16 years.
The first year is all romance....well...the three months he was home anyways.
Then you adjust. Things get stale...(except with the kind of life we led...things rarely had time to 'get stale'.)
Then generally, I think all marriages go through a 'rough patch'. The size and scale of which I believe is directly correlated to the amount of time you spent getting to know your significant other prior to marriage. ( 5 months....rough patch... a few years, lol)
Some lucky souls have a minor bump and then things smooth out.
Others...well, that rough patch can last a while.
AND
If they aren't careful, the whole marriage...however long that is.
If a marriage makes it through and then out the other side...some of the polish has worn off.
The other person is no longer the idealized version you think you fell in love with.
Instead, you get to see that person, who they really are.
That's when you decide whether you really love THEM...
or the version you created in your mind of them.
Once you decide that it is indeed the real them you love,
That, I think is when real love happens.
When they lose their job and they fight through it.
When they get incredibly ill.
When you lose a child.
When someone has an addiction.
When they aren't the same person who went to war.
When they have a baby, and they turn into a 'mother'
When they gain 100 lbs.
When they stop looking at you with stars in their eyes and start making demands.
I see these couples who have been married 50 plus years, and people always ask them.."what is the secret to your long lasting marriage?'..
they will usually trot out some old saw..."communication" or "respect'
Which are certainly important.
I know why they give one word answers.
To give the full answer would take the life time they have lived together.
Those small moments of decision which could have swayed things one way or the other.
There is no way to communicate the whys.
What it really comes down to is that they made the decision to be respectful, to communicate and in the end...to love that other person, every day.
Even when they didn't agree, or didn't understand. Even when it ran 180 degrees to everything you wanted in that moment.
You give in or give up or you get given to.
Because at that moment, it's not who is right....but who it's the most important to.
It's holding on while the other person changes and grows, and being willing to love the things that are new and letting go of what used to be.
It's hard.
It's work.
It's real.
When I said my vows
For richer or poorer.
check.
for better or worse.
check.
in sickness and in health
check.
Till death do us part...
nearly....
They weren't just words although I didn't fully realize it at the time.
You say them never dreaming that it might actually pertain to you.
When you are young, you will never get sick, or have a miscarriage, or lose a job, your husband won't go to war....When you are young, everything can be healed with love.
A love that is an idealized version of what is, in the end...real.
It just needed time for you to grow.
There is a reason those vows are so enduring.
If you don't hit nearly all of those in the first ten years, you are a lucky couple.
After you go through all these things together...you find you love this person in a way you don't love anyone else.
You know them like you know yourself.
You love them more, because in the end...it really is a choice.
They are your life partner.
What you are in love with isn't the body, it's the person inside.
It's not something you can get at the gym or pick up in a bar.
It takes time, and living...and heartbreak to make a love that is real.
Enduring these things together is what eventually makes two people, one person.
This all came from watching a women drinking out of a water bottle behind the stairstepper while trying not to smudge her lipstick.
I probably ought to watch tv, lol.
Have a great night,
Hugs,
Chris
It is, after all, primarily a diet and exercise blog...that allows me to blab about other things.
So, I went to the gym and hopped on Christian....I did 45 minutes and burned 475 calories.
Then I walked for a quarter mile around the track before I realized that if I did the whole mile, I might burn about 80 more calories, but I would also end up with pneumonia.
It's a little cold here in Colorado.
I went back in and did 100 situps and stretched.
I look better.
I don't think of this as a statement of conceit.
It's just a fact.
I look better at 194 lbs than I did at 262 lbs.
I may attract more male attention.
I just realized something today.
Male attention based on looks is empty.
I see older women who come into the gym with full makeup and hair. They hang around, walking slowly on the treadmill so as not to break a sweat. Dayglo pink exercise bra with tight lycra bottoms. They are fishing for a date.
I almost feel like they should have a sign that says;
'prime specimen, well preserved" on them.
I understand you have to put yourself out there...the older you get the harder it can be.
It's good to 'keep yourself up."
If you are trying to date, that is great. I mean you've got to bait the hook so to speak.
So maybe they manage to reel in a man.
Then if the man is a decent sort, he will want to get to know you.
The best way to find that out is to tell him no the first few months.
See if he sticks around...if he doesn't, then generally, he didn't want to know you...he just wanted to hit it.
Every time I see these ladies I am glad I am married.
My husband and I have been married for 16 years.
The first year is all romance....well...the three months he was home anyways.
Then you adjust. Things get stale...(except with the kind of life we led...things rarely had time to 'get stale'.)
Then generally, I think all marriages go through a 'rough patch'. The size and scale of which I believe is directly correlated to the amount of time you spent getting to know your significant other prior to marriage. ( 5 months....rough patch... a few years, lol)
Some lucky souls have a minor bump and then things smooth out.
Others...well, that rough patch can last a while.
AND
If they aren't careful, the whole marriage...however long that is.
If a marriage makes it through and then out the other side...some of the polish has worn off.
The other person is no longer the idealized version you think you fell in love with.
Instead, you get to see that person, who they really are.
That's when you decide whether you really love THEM...
or the version you created in your mind of them.
Once you decide that it is indeed the real them you love,
That, I think is when real love happens.
When they lose their job and they fight through it.
When they get incredibly ill.
When you lose a child.
When someone has an addiction.
When they aren't the same person who went to war.
When they have a baby, and they turn into a 'mother'
When they gain 100 lbs.
When they stop looking at you with stars in their eyes and start making demands.
I see these couples who have been married 50 plus years, and people always ask them.."what is the secret to your long lasting marriage?'..
they will usually trot out some old saw..."communication" or "respect'
Which are certainly important.
I know why they give one word answers.
To give the full answer would take the life time they have lived together.
Those small moments of decision which could have swayed things one way or the other.
There is no way to communicate the whys.
What it really comes down to is that they made the decision to be respectful, to communicate and in the end...to love that other person, every day.
Even when they didn't agree, or didn't understand. Even when it ran 180 degrees to everything you wanted in that moment.
You give in or give up or you get given to.
Because at that moment, it's not who is right....but who it's the most important to.
It's holding on while the other person changes and grows, and being willing to love the things that are new and letting go of what used to be.
It's hard.
It's work.
It's real.
When I said my vows
For richer or poorer.
check.
for better or worse.
check.
in sickness and in health
check.
Till death do us part...
nearly....
They weren't just words although I didn't fully realize it at the time.
You say them never dreaming that it might actually pertain to you.
When you are young, you will never get sick, or have a miscarriage, or lose a job, your husband won't go to war....When you are young, everything can be healed with love.
A love that is an idealized version of what is, in the end...real.
It just needed time for you to grow.
There is a reason those vows are so enduring.
If you don't hit nearly all of those in the first ten years, you are a lucky couple.
After you go through all these things together...you find you love this person in a way you don't love anyone else.
You know them like you know yourself.
You love them more, because in the end...it really is a choice.
They are your life partner.
What you are in love with isn't the body, it's the person inside.
It's not something you can get at the gym or pick up in a bar.
It takes time, and living...and heartbreak to make a love that is real.
Enduring these things together is what eventually makes two people, one person.
This all came from watching a women drinking out of a water bottle behind the stairstepper while trying not to smudge her lipstick.
I probably ought to watch tv, lol.
Have a great night,
Hugs,
Chris
12.04.2009
Tipping point...
Hello all,
As I was discussing my weight loss journey with my mom today....I realized I had passed something quite profound.
I weighed in this morning at 194.
The last time I weighed this much was at least October of 2000.
So, 9 years.
It also means it is the halfway point in my journey, or actually two pounds over halfway.
I have lost 68 lbs.
I have 64 to lose to reach my goal weight of 130.
I am more than halfway there.
The tipping point.
I have come farther than I have to go.
Feels good.
I worked out on Arnold tonight.
I burned 610 calories and stretched, stretched, stretched.
I ate around 1400 calories tonight.... I don't think I want to eat anymore either.
So I will let myself come in a bit low..
Anywhooo. During that conversation with my mom, I got the most interesting comments...like,
"So, at the weight you are now, How much are you eating to lose weight?"
So I tell her where I get my info, and she writes it down.
lol.
Just a guess.
I think she is "at the weight I'm at now.'
Then she said, "Well, I am glad it's coming off so fast for you.'
"It doesn't seem to be bothering you."
Funny, one year ago she was sending me weight watchers cookbooks
(I wasn't on a diet at the time) ...now she wants weight loss advice.
Life is strange.
It's funny, I think if other people knew how hard losing this much weight is, they wouldn't say that 'its coming off so easy". Granted, she only gets updates every other week, and when you are busy with your own life...one minute someone is telling you they have lost ten pounds, the next fifty.
Time goes by fast.
It's harder than I thought it would be, and easier than I thought it would be.
(I am not done, so lets not count my eggs before they are hatched. Sometimes I need to remind myself, lol. )
I am going to get to my goal weight and probably get some of the stuff I used to throw out.
"Oh,it's easy for you...YOUR NATURALLY THIN!!!!" lololol
or "Look at you, you can eat whatever you want, and not get fat!"
I usually thought that last one at restaurants, not thinking that the thin girl had probably watched what she ate and exercised for the week prior and so could have a bit more that day.
There are other things I've noticed:
I am no longer the biggest person in the room, even at the gym.
I am thiiiiis close to shopping the 'normal' part of the clothing section at walmart.
I get cold easier.
My husband is more 'attentive' lol.
People who haven't seen me in a while do a double take when I say hi, then look me over once really good...but don't say anything? lol.
shhhhhh....my old school hottie....lol i take terrible pictures...
click to enlarge....
Hope all is well with you guys, I am going to get off blogger tonight and do some laundry.
Hugs,
Your naturally thin blogger,
Chris
As I was discussing my weight loss journey with my mom today....I realized I had passed something quite profound.
I weighed in this morning at 194.
The last time I weighed this much was at least October of 2000.
So, 9 years.
It also means it is the halfway point in my journey, or actually two pounds over halfway.
I have lost 68 lbs.
I have 64 to lose to reach my goal weight of 130.
I am more than halfway there.
The tipping point.
I have come farther than I have to go.
Feels good.
I worked out on Arnold tonight.
I burned 610 calories and stretched, stretched, stretched.
I ate around 1400 calories tonight.... I don't think I want to eat anymore either.
So I will let myself come in a bit low..
Anywhooo. During that conversation with my mom, I got the most interesting comments...like,
"So, at the weight you are now, How much are you eating to lose weight?"
So I tell her where I get my info, and she writes it down.
lol.
Just a guess.
I think she is "at the weight I'm at now.'
Then she said, "Well, I am glad it's coming off so fast for you.'
"It doesn't seem to be bothering you."
Funny, one year ago she was sending me weight watchers cookbooks
(I wasn't on a diet at the time) ...now she wants weight loss advice.
Life is strange.
It's funny, I think if other people knew how hard losing this much weight is, they wouldn't say that 'its coming off so easy". Granted, she only gets updates every other week, and when you are busy with your own life...one minute someone is telling you they have lost ten pounds, the next fifty.
Time goes by fast.
It's harder than I thought it would be, and easier than I thought it would be.
(I am not done, so lets not count my eggs before they are hatched. Sometimes I need to remind myself, lol. )
I am going to get to my goal weight and probably get some of the stuff I used to throw out.
"Oh,it's easy for you...YOUR NATURALLY THIN!!!!" lololol
or "Look at you, you can eat whatever you want, and not get fat!"
I usually thought that last one at restaurants, not thinking that the thin girl had probably watched what she ate and exercised for the week prior and so could have a bit more that day.
There are other things I've noticed:
I am no longer the biggest person in the room, even at the gym.
I am thiiiiis close to shopping the 'normal' part of the clothing section at walmart.
I get cold easier.
My husband is more 'attentive' lol.
People who haven't seen me in a while do a double take when I say hi, then look me over once really good...but don't say anything? lol.
shhhhhh....my old school hottie....lol i take terrible pictures...click to enlarge....
Hope all is well with you guys, I am going to get off blogger tonight and do some laundry.
Hugs,
Your naturally thin blogger,
Chris
12.03.2009
December 3rd....rocking the workout...& eye candy
I had a really good workout tonight.
I did 45 minutes on Christian and then walked for a half hour on the treadmill.
Then I did 105 situps and stretched...kept my calories to 1510 all together.
I weigh in at night at 197.
on a side note...the men may want to leave off here...lol.
I just watched 'a long hot summer' with paul newman and joanne woodward.
Paul Newman was a hottie back in the day...
He's gone now...
I've always had a thing for older movie stars....
For the longest time it was Robert Redford and William Holden.
William Holden from Picnic..Which if you've never seen, you should.
To say they don't make em like that anymore would be an understatement...
forgive me fans of brad pitt....but he always seemed a little pretty to me.
I think the closest we come these days to old school movie stars would be clive owen and gerard butler. And of course Christian Slater, but only when he is all dirtied up...think 3:10 to yuma...Batman is good as well.
Men these days tend to be a little, well....."manicured" for me.
Here is a picture of a young paul newman...
Or william holden
WOW!...that's all i'm sayin'.
Now a days...they have pretty boys like these:
Dollars to donuts he plucks, does a facial and uses moisturizer.
My daughter told me the other day that she can't find a boy to like because she is tougher than most of them...
I have to say, I had the same problem.
I don't want to be able to hip toss my significant other, if that makes me 'old fashioned' so be it.
I am so glad I don't date these days, because if the boy showed up at my door with black nail polish and eyeliner, I'd ask him if he wanted me to hold his purse while he went to the rest room.
I know i am sounding a little bit "get off my lawnish'...I think this happens as you age....the grumpies set in.
You see, it's not that I couldn't take care of myself.
I just wanted a Man that could protect me if He needed to....
Yes, I want to be strong, and tough and capable.....
But, I want my man stronger, tougher and even more capable...
I was thinking of that today while at the gym...I sometimes wonder what kind of young men we are turning out.
An alarming amount of the young ones I saw did seem a little...
I don't know what you'd call it...hat backwards and immature for their age.
I guess I am nostalgic for a time I never grew up in. You know what they say about the golden age, everyone always ran around complaining about how yellow everything was...lol.
My husband is the old fashioned type. Which is just fine with me, I would post a pic, but I think he's on to me. ( since i ran downstairs and took his pic "just because"...and then he says "you aren't going to put me on your blog are you? and I am all like NOOOOO honey'...smooth ain't I ) I will have to sneak his pic on later.
And if he is reading this, by later I mean never...
(for my readers, by later I mean when he forgets...lol)
He's my old fashioned hottie...I will just say I knew I was in love when we were caught in a blizzard in 1993 in The mountains of north carolina. we were stuck on the side of the road in a snow drift.
He took cardboard from the back of the chevy blazer and put it up inside the truck to preserve heat...He took our drinks and made a little hole outside in the snow to keep them cold.
then he got out and hiked two miles up the freeway to a store and bought us food and brought it back and kept it cold outside as well. Every two hours he would go out and make sure our tailpipe was clear and then run the truck to keep it warm. I couldn't have been more impressed if he had walked on the moon. The next day the snow plows came out and we were on our way....four people died that night on that stretch of highway.
Let's hear it for old fashioned men.....yay!
What do you love about your husbands or boyfriends....or if the men have stayed around this long (kudos on your endurance) What did you admire about your fathers?
I did 45 minutes on Christian and then walked for a half hour on the treadmill.
Then I did 105 situps and stretched...kept my calories to 1510 all together.
I weigh in at night at 197.
on a side note...the men may want to leave off here...lol.
I just watched 'a long hot summer' with paul newman and joanne woodward.
Paul Newman was a hottie back in the day...
He's gone now...
I've always had a thing for older movie stars....
For the longest time it was Robert Redford and William Holden.
William Holden from Picnic..Which if you've never seen, you should.
To say they don't make em like that anymore would be an understatement...
forgive me fans of brad pitt....but he always seemed a little pretty to me.
I think the closest we come these days to old school movie stars would be clive owen and gerard butler. And of course Christian Slater, but only when he is all dirtied up...think 3:10 to yuma...Batman is good as well.
Men these days tend to be a little, well....."manicured" for me.
Here is a picture of a young paul newman...
Or william holden
WOW!...that's all i'm sayin'.Now a days...they have pretty boys like these:
Dollars to donuts he plucks, does a facial and uses moisturizer.
My daughter told me the other day that she can't find a boy to like because she is tougher than most of them...
I have to say, I had the same problem.
I don't want to be able to hip toss my significant other, if that makes me 'old fashioned' so be it.
I am so glad I don't date these days, because if the boy showed up at my door with black nail polish and eyeliner, I'd ask him if he wanted me to hold his purse while he went to the rest room.
I know i am sounding a little bit "get off my lawnish'...I think this happens as you age....the grumpies set in.
You see, it's not that I couldn't take care of myself.
I just wanted a Man that could protect me if He needed to....
Yes, I want to be strong, and tough and capable.....
But, I want my man stronger, tougher and even more capable...
I was thinking of that today while at the gym...I sometimes wonder what kind of young men we are turning out.
An alarming amount of the young ones I saw did seem a little...
I don't know what you'd call it...hat backwards and immature for their age.
I guess I am nostalgic for a time I never grew up in. You know what they say about the golden age, everyone always ran around complaining about how yellow everything was...lol.
My husband is the old fashioned type. Which is just fine with me, I would post a pic, but I think he's on to me. ( since i ran downstairs and took his pic "just because"...and then he says "you aren't going to put me on your blog are you? and I am all like NOOOOO honey'...smooth ain't I ) I will have to sneak his pic on later.
And if he is reading this, by later I mean never...
(for my readers, by later I mean when he forgets...lol)
He's my old fashioned hottie...I will just say I knew I was in love when we were caught in a blizzard in 1993 in The mountains of north carolina. we were stuck on the side of the road in a snow drift.
He took cardboard from the back of the chevy blazer and put it up inside the truck to preserve heat...He took our drinks and made a little hole outside in the snow to keep them cold.
then he got out and hiked two miles up the freeway to a store and bought us food and brought it back and kept it cold outside as well. Every two hours he would go out and make sure our tailpipe was clear and then run the truck to keep it warm. I couldn't have been more impressed if he had walked on the moon. The next day the snow plows came out and we were on our way....four people died that night on that stretch of highway.
Let's hear it for old fashioned men.....yay!
What do you love about your husbands or boyfriends....or if the men have stayed around this long (kudos on your endurance) What did you admire about your fathers?
12.02.2009
138 vs. 138
The title of my post....
It's a number.
I'll get to it in a minute....
I worked out today, I ate a lot better today.
I burned 620 calories on Arnold, and I ate:
two eggs and a piece of toast
2cups of coffee with 4 T sugar and 1/3 of a cup of milk
One 6 inch chicken philly minus cheese extra veggies, lettuce tomato & banana peppers.
two pieces of chicken and a bag of sugar snap peas.
Total calories today: 1530 calories
there, back op....getting to the gym was hard but doable. I went after my girl scout troop meeting. 7-8:30 pm
I was tired, I enjoyed not one bit of that workout...but did my hour of cardio and my toning after.
So, 138 vs. 138
In high school, in my freshman year...I was briefly 138 lbs. I wore a size ten and felt 'fat'
just out of basic, I was 138 lbs. A big ball of muscle and I KNEW i was 'thin'
What was the difference?
In highschool, i rode my bike for ten to twenty miles on the weekends...I highly doubt I was 'fat'.
After basic, I wore a size 8 jean...I often wonder if I could have worn an 8 in highschool, but never tried?
It's mindset.
Right now I am 197 lbs.
I don't feel fat...at all.
I know I am still "obese'.
But I feel capable. I feel like I am a thin person who has a fat coating.
Before, in high school...and even after I got out of basic....I felt like a fat person masquerading as a thin girl.
It was a mirage and it was only a matter of time before "fat girl' got out.
Now I feel like it's just a matter of time before thin girl gets out.
The only difference in those 138's was the mindset.
I don't think the number on the scale matters as much as who you think you are.
It's a self fulfilling prophecy.
Last night, I could have thought....well, it was inevitable, this is what I do...revert.
But instead I thought, good brother...I can't believe I used to eat like that.
My second thought was
"This is not acceptable"
Then today, I ate right and exercised...cause this is who I am now.
Who do you think you are?
Hugs,
chris
It's a number.
I'll get to it in a minute....
I worked out today, I ate a lot better today.
I burned 620 calories on Arnold, and I ate:
two eggs and a piece of toast
2cups of coffee with 4 T sugar and 1/3 of a cup of milk
One 6 inch chicken philly minus cheese extra veggies, lettuce tomato & banana peppers.
two pieces of chicken and a bag of sugar snap peas.
Total calories today: 1530 calories
there, back op....getting to the gym was hard but doable. I went after my girl scout troop meeting. 7-8:30 pm
I was tired, I enjoyed not one bit of that workout...but did my hour of cardio and my toning after.
So, 138 vs. 138
In high school, in my freshman year...I was briefly 138 lbs. I wore a size ten and felt 'fat'
just out of basic, I was 138 lbs. A big ball of muscle and I KNEW i was 'thin'
What was the difference?
In highschool, i rode my bike for ten to twenty miles on the weekends...I highly doubt I was 'fat'.
After basic, I wore a size 8 jean...I often wonder if I could have worn an 8 in highschool, but never tried?
It's mindset.
Right now I am 197 lbs.
I don't feel fat...at all.
I know I am still "obese'.
But I feel capable. I feel like I am a thin person who has a fat coating.
Before, in high school...and even after I got out of basic....I felt like a fat person masquerading as a thin girl.
It was a mirage and it was only a matter of time before "fat girl' got out.
Now I feel like it's just a matter of time before thin girl gets out.
The only difference in those 138's was the mindset.
I don't think the number on the scale matters as much as who you think you are.
It's a self fulfilling prophecy.
Last night, I could have thought....well, it was inevitable, this is what I do...revert.
But instead I thought, good brother...I can't believe I used to eat like that.
My second thought was
"This is not acceptable"
Then today, I ate right and exercised...cause this is who I am now.
Who do you think you are?
Hugs,
chris
12.01.2009
I want to bash my head into a brick wall....
hows that for motivation.
Today was off the charts busy.
I didn't get my workout and I won't today.
We had to drop off hubby's car (and pick it up), girl scout stuff out the wazoo, crafty stuff, cleaning stuff..I used a half a tank of gas today if that tells you anything.
I will have to be grocery shopping cause I don't have anything left to eat in my house but wilted celery and old spareribs.
I missed lunch....at 1/2 of a mcdonalds mcgriddle sandwich 210 calories,
i am topping off my craptastic day of food with digornio pizza...
so basically,
210 calories worth of mcrapple sandwich,
300 calories worth of caffeinated sugary coffee
and 990 calories of fatty pizza.
mmmm..mmmmm
all told I come in at 1500 calories, but guys...this is NOT the way to eat.
This is why I need to be more organized about my life....I cannot shove everything into one day.
That is why, after I am done eating this crap tastic pizza, I am going to the commissary at 630 at night to do my shopping.
Tomorrow morning, I am taking my daughter to school and then heading to the gym....
I will come back. I will have my greek yogurt, my peaches with 2 T of honey...
a half sandwich for lunch and a sensible dinner.
I weight in this morning at 197 pounds.
My goal is to be at 189 on January 1rst, so no more days like fat fest here.
I can't believe I used to eat two of those mcgriddle things...they are 420 calories for ONE.
holy cow.
literally.
I am so hungry I have a headache.
I am not going to beat myself up anymore, today was what it was....
tomorrow will be op.
See, even us balls of fire go through the sewer of life...lol.
Have a better day than I am having.
Chris out.
Today was off the charts busy.
I didn't get my workout and I won't today.
We had to drop off hubby's car (and pick it up), girl scout stuff out the wazoo, crafty stuff, cleaning stuff..I used a half a tank of gas today if that tells you anything.
I will have to be grocery shopping cause I don't have anything left to eat in my house but wilted celery and old spareribs.
I missed lunch....at 1/2 of a mcdonalds mcgriddle sandwich 210 calories,
i am topping off my craptastic day of food with digornio pizza...
so basically,
210 calories worth of mcrapple sandwich,
300 calories worth of caffeinated sugary coffee
and 990 calories of fatty pizza.
mmmm..mmmmm
all told I come in at 1500 calories, but guys...this is NOT the way to eat.
This is why I need to be more organized about my life....I cannot shove everything into one day.
That is why, after I am done eating this crap tastic pizza, I am going to the commissary at 630 at night to do my shopping.
Tomorrow morning, I am taking my daughter to school and then heading to the gym....
I will come back. I will have my greek yogurt, my peaches with 2 T of honey...
a half sandwich for lunch and a sensible dinner.
I weight in this morning at 197 pounds.
My goal is to be at 189 on January 1rst, so no more days like fat fest here.
I can't believe I used to eat two of those mcgriddle things...they are 420 calories for ONE.
holy cow.
literally.
I am so hungry I have a headache.
I am not going to beat myself up anymore, today was what it was....
tomorrow will be op.
See, even us balls of fire go through the sewer of life...lol.
Have a better day than I am having.
Chris out.
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