Mothers make the home....

You know,
when I embarked on this motherhood thing over 17 years ago...
I knew it was important...
But not how important.
I thought I wanted a career.
I wanted to be someone important...someone special.
I wanted to make a difference.
I had bought the lie that the only way you make a difference is if you are getting paid to do so.
Now, this is not to downgrade mothers who do work outside the home......
I just wanted to take a minute out to say something to mothers who are asked...
"So...what do you DO?"
I have been asked this many times...in many different situations.
I have gotten many kinds of responses.
From "Oh, how nice..."
"Oh, aren't you bored just sitting at home'
lol....I wish.

It took me years to realize I had the most important job in the world.
I used to write things like 'domestic engineer' on hospital forms.
Until I understood that I was doing it because I felt that writing " homemaker" would be degrading.
And I stopped coming up with fancy names, and embraced what I was.
A homemaker.
There is no higher calling....
Especially now, when the art of making a home is nearly a lost art.
I am forming the character of two distinct people.
The home I created for them (and continue to create daily )Is their doorway to the world. My expectations for them would eventually be the same expecations they would have about themselves.
I aimed high...
So that they would aim high.
I was (and still am) the mirror by which they view the world...and
I was (and still am) their teacher.

I taught them both to read.
To write...
to add and subtract, multiply and divide...
I introduced them to good literature and growth experiences....

But more importantly -
I taught them about God.
I gave them a firm foundation on which to grow.
A foundation that can't be shaken.
I taught them the importance of the home...of family....of taking time for the ones you love.

So to all the mother's out there who are asked daily.
"What do you do?"

Tell them...."I raise the future".
That knowledge is gift enough for me, today and every day....
Tell people that you raise the future...
Because you do.
Good job and keep up the good work.
Happy mother's day.
Chris out.


Jodie said...

Great post! You are a great model of persistence and perseverance! Happy Mother's Day!

Amber said...

Great post. I have written some doozies on forms when asked what I do.
My favorite one is "Ceo for Smith Family Social Development Center for Child Enrichment and Education.

But in truth, I have an amazing job, as you do. We get to be MOM.
Which translates into many many other titles.

I feel blessed to be a mom. For being the one God chose to give these children to.

You're doing awesome, I know because I know your girls!

Happy Mothers Day Chirs!

Anonymous said...

:) Deb

carla said...

**stands and applauds**

downsizers said...

There is an old saying "The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world" - it may have been Mother Theresa but I am not sure. The traditional American home has been a significant loss to our culture. It will be our downfall. Homes with both parents are becoming rare. Even getting married is becoming rare and "old fashioned". We can look around and see that throwing God out of our homes, schools, sporting events, lives, and work places has not made things better but worse. You have undertaken the most important job there is. I think men are going to be held accountable by God for their lack of leadership, especially in their homes. Women let themselves be used - anyway, I'm rambling. I think it's great you are doing what you are doing after the way you were raised. It often doesn't turn out that way. Maybe you should start a support group for stay at home Mom's - you would be great.

Unknown said...

I'd join that support group.

I was awe inspired by your post because I am asked that same question often "What do you do?" It's the same reply, albeit a bit hesitant "I'm a stay-at-home mom". I love being home with my daughter, and I love to think I am molding her into the little person she is becoming.

Awesome post!

Pretty Pauline said...


'Yellow Rose' Jasmine said...

'..raising the future', yes in so many ways. You are not only helping your girls into a better life, but raising the bar in general for society and that is so important. Especially these days!

Anonymous said...

Happy (belated) Mother's Day to you. Your children are lucky. I bet they know that. :)

Annalisa@Gracie'sGarden said...

"Domestic Engineer" How appropriate! Can I borrow that?
It's actually amazing at the responses I get here in Oz. People are amazed at how I can do it. It's the type of respect that mothers all over the world should get. I love Australia :) Almost all mothers here stay home for 12 months, but most go back to work after that. And after spending 4 years of single motherhood (with 2 young'ens) working full-time on top of attending university PT, followed by 5 years of SAHMing, I must admit, the former 4 years were MUCH easier. I require 3 extra hours of sleep now days, just to have enough energy for everything. Thanks for this post Chris.

Linda Pressman said...

That's really a beautiful post, Chris. I don't homeschool, but I can't imagine what my two kids would have been like without me imbuing them with my heart and soul, my thoughts and integrity, and our faith, every day.

NewMe said...

why is it either/or? Why are you either a "good" mother, devoting your time to raising your kids, putting that effort above all others or someone who just happened to breed and has other, "better" things to do in life?

I started feeling really uncomfortable with the whole thing of doing the most important job in the world when I realized that the logical end to being a mother and nothing else was that I would raise male children to go out into the world and "do" things (perhaps at the expense of being loving, caring, hands-on parents) and female children who would just keep taking care of those males and never express any of their own brilliance or ability.

Sorry, no can do.

I have been fairly lucky in that I am self-employed in a well-paying profession. Although I had no unemployment insurance when I had my kids, I was able to take time off, go to work a day or two here or there and enjoy both the wonders of motherhood and use my mind for things other than keeping track of when I'd last breastfed, for how long and whether we were running out of diapers or not.

Motherhood is wonderful, difficult, rewarding and frustrating. So is life in general. At the end of my life, I will not regret the time that I refused several thousand dollars worth of work because I was going on vacation with my kids, but I will also be proud of the fact that I went out into the world and did some worthwhile work that was not related to raising my kids. And by being a person outside the home, I have also taught my kids about what it means to give back to society and to help others.

It's not that black and white.

Happy mother's day to all.

Christine said...

ahhh and there you go...I think the idea that the only place mothers can use their brilliance and talents is in a place where you get a paycheck is a lie. I use my brilliance and my talents daily. Not just to wonder about breastfeeding and diaper changing. I just choose to use them at home. And this is exactly what I am talking about. The subtle allusion the we stay at home moms don't. That somehow it is oppressive and that we are teaching our sons to expect women to take care of them...instead of seeing the example set and becoming people who take care of others. I don't buy the gender lie. compassion and love are compassion and love. Of course it's happy mothers day to all, my mother worked...but I thought I would take the time in my blog post to give a shout out to women who face the whole 'but don't you feel like your talents are going to waste' question daily...sometimes from family. It is the most important job you will ever have...whether you work or not....for both men and women. I do worthwhile work in my community through my church and other service organizations. You are right....it's not either or...the door swings both ways. Just because I stay at home...doesn't mean I don't use my talents and creativity and it doesn't mean I don't enter the world as a seperate individual.
chris out.

E. Jane said...

Bless you and your devotion to your kids. You did--and continue to do--a great job. There is no amount of money in the world worth what you have given your family.nitys

NewMe said...

I think there's some basic disagreement between us, but some agreement too. We'll just have to leave it at that.

Joy said...

Awesome post!!