6.14.2012

Hitting the Wall

Hello,
I am taking a quick break from my 'hiatus' to share with you a little revelation I had today
.
It was the realization that nearly a year and a half ago I hit a wall I'll call "Good enough". Many other people will hit walls..

They may have different titles..

Something like: "Family obligations"
or perhaps:
"Why bother, nobody notices!?"

You were plugging along, doing fine...
when all the sudden you get discouraged...

or tired...or fed up...or anxious.

And you feel worn out.
Kind of like:
 (Geek alert) that scene in Helms deep In The Two towers (from the Lord of the Rings trilogy),
when our heroes of mythic Lore had gotten down to their last resources...and their courage was failing them. They felt tired and began to discuss the merits of either fleeing or surrendering...or fighting on till the death....

They chose the last option..

When it seemed no help was at hand.

They didn't lay down and die.
They stood up and fought.
And as they were fighting, they remembered!

They remembered that Gandalf said he would come on the third day.

And he did.

And they kicked some major ass...and won the victory.

But before that Gandalf's glorious gallop down the hill....all seemed hopeless.

Lost.

Pointless.

My "Good enough" wall was constructed of things like:
I need to pay attention to my house.
I need to spend time with my kids.
I need to focus on living for a while.

And I did...
But how curious is it that I stopped 10 lbs from my goal.

How strange is it that I had gotten that close only to deny MYSELF.

Had anything changed in that short a period of time?
No.

I finally realized that Hitting the wall is a glorious thing.

Because in every story every told...

It is always darkest before the dawn.

The battle is the most brutal.

The hero the most worn down and weary..

The future the most bleak..

and the odds almost impossible.

And the only way to win is to push past everything you believe to be true..

Past every obstacle.. bleak thought.. rational excuse.

To Knock down the wall, win the battle, and finish the race.

That is how winning is done.

So if you are hitting a proverbial wall.

You HAVE to keep pushing.

Don't retreat as I did...

As I am NO LONGER DOING!

Because that is the time that your victory is at hand.

I will be back when I have something more to say.

Hope everyone is doing well.

Chris out.

15 comments:

My name WAS Female, I shit you not! said...

(((hugs)))Pat

'Yellow Rose' Jasmine said...

It's funny how hard it is to do things for ourselves, even if it's something that we really want.
For so many of us we are just so used to being last on our list, even when we've learned how to treat ourselves differently.
It's also hard to remember that things that we learn as adults still take some time to sink in sometimes. And to give ourselves that time.
Thanks for sharing your insights on this.

Kelliann said...

I have missed your writing and insite. Awesome. Thank you.

Jill said...

I love this. I'm putting a link to it on my Blog of Fame page so I'll remember it next time I feel like hitting the wall. This has happened to me so many times, and I guess I never realized that I could push through it. I heard someone say once that when you feel the most resistance is when you are on the edge of a breakthrough. I think that applies here. :)

Putz said...

you won't be gone LONG, because you always seem to have something important to say

Princess Dieter said...

I hit the good enough wall. After 7 months of trying to pass it, I'm done. Good enough is good enough..for now. I may be battle-ready later. For now, I'm moving on to work on my next life projects while maintainig "good enough".

Sometimes, a warrior needs to rest and regroup before sieging again. I'm in that lull. :D

Rettakat said...

Wonderful post, with wonderful insight. Seeing the big picture instead of what we, when battle weary, usually see... which is only what's right in front of our nose up close. Loved this!

E. Jane said...

Great post! Don't be gone too long.

Robin said...

I kinda wondered what you were doing when you decided you were taking a break. But, I decided that there was only so much house you could clean. And your kids can only devote so much time for you that is healthy before you are forced to really look at yourself again. So, I knew that eventually anything I would say... you were eventually going to say to yourself. And here it is... the much anticipated post. Welcome back.

Joy said...

I needed this today. All is well with me, but I need a big push for the next step. I so want to retreat....but I will push forward and fight instead. Now I'm off to my treadmill for another 5k run!

Keep up the great work and stay focused!!

Hanlie said...

You know, one of my favorite bloggers waited 2 years before she tackled her last 20 pounds. That time was in no way wasted, because she was practicing maintenance, which is an important skill to master. Good for you for being ready to lose your last 10.

carla said...

needed this this morning.
finding the post was like discovering a treat.

bbubblyb said...

Something I find myself telling my TOPS folks sometimes is "just hold on". Maybe that isn't the best thing to tell them but with this maintenance thing being life long I'm not in any hurry and I do think we need to practice. So for now I'll keep doing the work and "hanging on" and living life. I don't want life to be about a battle I fight everyday, that just doesn't seem like a fun life to me. But I do get your point and you are a fighter and if you are ready for battle again I know you will win :) I always love reading your words and miss you when you're away. *hugs*

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paulawannacracker said...

inspirational as always.