Simple does not mean easy

I don't know if you have ever noticed my web address...
Chris lives simple dot blog spot dot com

Why not live deliberately?

Because, a discovery I made fairly early in life was this...the more complex something was made...the less likely it was to hold true or have integrity.

Ie if you can't explain it in brief...something is wrong...
Liars embellish.
Uncertain people over explain.
People in denial will talk in circles.

There is some half truth, excuse, avoidance...you name it...you strip all the bark off and you'll find the wood...
For instance...what color is the sky?

Blue.  Grey?  It has an answer...
Why doesn't grandma come over anymore?  Or whoever...
I came to discover that the quickest and best way through any situation involved total honesty, and a simple recitation of the facts as they lay before me.
Life was simpler that way..
if you can't be brutally honest with at least yourself...you are going to run into all kinds of problems. 

Or you will deny them so long, they'll run into you.

Simple, however, doesn't mean easy. 
It just means simple.

Married, don't cheat.
Fat? Eat less, move more.
Uneducated, go to school.

Left unsaid are the hurdles or excuses that have been constructed by yourself, circumstances, or other people.
Usually mental.
Sometimes physical.
Sometimes spiritual.

I know a young lady who has made a hash of her life...pregnant young, many poor choices which have lead to run ins with the law...bad home life because of two parents who were immature and self centered...
She came into my office crying one day..she had been sleeping with a married man.  He was using her because she was available.  
She had all sorts of reasons why she was in this relationship...the usual one about a distant wife...gag...loneliness and the idea that this man truly cared for her.  
I then asked her if she really thought he cared for her?   
And she hesitated.
And I said...there you go. 
After listening to the litany of bad choices by both herself and others, it all coalesced into this one thought...I said.. "Hon, at any moment you can stand up and turn around, and turn your whole life around.  You can say to that man..I deserve more than to be treated as a convenience. To your parents who are alcoholic and verbally abusive, that you deserve respect and attention..and to yourself, that you can raise the bar for how you treat yourself and allow others to treat you...from down here, to up here...and never owe anyone a damn explanation. "

She didn't look convinced.

The following week...after once again making the choice to allow this man to use her...he began to blame her for all his problems...she said that's when the light came on...she said she patted him on the shoulder...said," you are right...we are over." He chased after her..attempted an apology.....she didn't explain...because she didn't owe him one...started going to church and is in the process of turning her life around...and it wasn't me saying it...it was her DOING IT.

it really doesn't matter what IT is...the most important thing you can do is pierce the veil of shame(I am sleeping with a married man) get support from a loving and truly caring person (who will tell you the truth but not condemn) and then face the truth with brutal honesty...and begin the process of change.  Was it easy for this young lady to turn from what was her only real (but ultimately fictional)source of comfort? No.
Once she did, she began to regain self respect...she started going to church and building a larger network of friends...making better choices..being a more present mother...she is five weeks in, and still has a very long row to hoe...but she will get there...the steps were clear and simple...but not easy. If you are trying to lose weight...the steps are clear and simple.

Not easy.

You will run into setbacks....
You didn't get where you are without setting up a whole support structure to sustain it. 
It won't be easy to slow, stop and turn around.
The older and more ingrained the habits, attitudes, friends and situations...the more difficult...
Putting it off won't make it easier...starting today avoids additional pain.
Very few things in life worth doing are easy...
But when we are truly honest with ourselves and strip away the bullshit...they are simple concepts.
Hang in there...I know I am...
I am up to five days a week of exercise...plus the five miles I traverse the store each night.
No more drive through, sugar or white flour...simple steps...done daily to reap a long, hard won reward.

Have a great day guys.
Chris out.


How to completely change your life....live in the now.

Today represents a milestone in my life and in the life of my marriage. Today I out earned my husband. Today, I earned 200 dollars more this pay check then he did.. I got a huge bonus based on sales..and for the first time in our marriage, I out earned him.

New readers will find this petty...so, before you comment...scroll through older posts...older readers know why this matters.

Dear friends,  it only took me 14 months.

14 months ago, I had no job experience, no education, nothing.
 Now I earn as much..when I'm not earning more.

I say this for only one reason.
If you are stuck, get unstuck...
Just decide.
Then do it...
You are already scared, hurt, confused and discouraged...
Make it mean something.
I watched castaway last night....and there is a scene where he weaves a rope to hang himself....but he doesn't use it.
Then he gets his courage back.
And he realises he needs to weave rope to put a boat together.. He gets down to the end and realizes he doesn't have enough rope...then he remembers the rope hanging from the tree branch....he retrieves it and uses it to save himself.
It's up to you what you do with the life you have created....with your innate abilities...
There are skills in you, honed from years of dealing with tragedy and pAin that God is waiting to use for your renewal and ultimate success...you just have to see a different purpose for your rope...
You have to believe something different can happen... And that takes a lot of faith... Something I didnt always have. So instead of faith in tomorrow, I placed my faith in the now. I can control now... I can decide to try and keep trying..now. And worry about the rest later...except my little trick is.. There is no later. Later never comes. It's always now. So concern yourself with now...and let later take care of itself.
A noose...
Or freedom...
You decide.
Chris out.