Whose permission do you need?

Whose permission do  you need to excel?
Whose permission do you need to not get beat?
Whose permission do you need to go to college?
Whose permission do  you need before you can lose weight?
Whose permission do you need before you can be happy?
Whose permission do you need before you can love again?
Whose permission do you  need to accept yourself?
Whose permission do you need to love your thighs?
Whose permission do you need to go to the gym tommorrow?
Whose permission do you need to find a new hobby?
Whose permission do you need to feel accepted?

When you allow others the right to dictate your happiness..your life choices...your state of being...
because you think they know what you should do.
You figuring it out and doing it.
YOU are handing the reins of your life to someone who doesn't have the manual.
And has their own agenda.
And if that person is an abuser..
then you have handed the reins of your life over..
to a manipulator who is USING YOU
to satisfy their need for control.
And while it may feel good to please them..
because you so badly want to please someone..
because you are never pleased with yourself..
it is an empty moment.
Draining you.
Not filling you.
A person who truly loves you will not attempt to grant you permission.
Will not degrade your dreams...
Will not  impede your progress...
But will support you while you find the strength within yourself to find out who you are on your own.
The only permission that is neccessary


worthy of love....even before you are perfect

I have had a realization...it only happened recently.
I has a lot to do with my last post.
I have invited into my life, people who are never happy with the status quo.
And that is great.
I like people who are always pushing for their own betterment.
But you know what.
It's okay to like yourself right now.
I know someone who is never happy with themselves..
and they have set their standard for life, for happiness..so high..
That there is no way to meet it.
And they have not only placed this expectation on themselves..
but on me, and on others.
And when I was younger..
I felt like I 'needed' to be pushed..
because deep down inside of me..
was a deep sense of inferiority.
I felt flawed in fundamental ways.
But a few months ago..
I began to resent the nitpicking..
the constant criticism.
And I realized...
that sometimes, when things weren't done..
or weren't okay..
that it was because I was exhausted.
And I am allowed to be exhausted.
I am allowed to be tired.
and sometimes I am allowed to be less than 100 percent.
I don't need to be told what to do all the time.
I know what to do..
if it isn't getting done...that is because I am at the end of my rope.
And sometimes you have to let things go for abit..
because there is just too much on your plate.
And learning to look a person in the face and say..
I don't need your criticism, I need your friendship and support..
and feeling that I deserve it.
Because I have been a good friend...and I have cut the other person slack...
is a huge step in owning myself and the rights to me, my mind, my space and my life.
I don't have to earn someone's love via spectacular performance.
They either love me or they don't.
They are either my friend or they aren't.
If I am a good, kind and loving support to them..
I should expect the same in return.
I am worthy of love...
I will never be perfect.
As Jesus said "I desire mercy, not sacrifice'...
so should your friends.
you of them
them of you.
Chris out.