Hey ya'll...I have been very, very busy.
I think I have put the final key in place.
It isn't exercise..
or having a mission in life.
Which I have.
The final key is having something you do that you love so much,
it lets all the things you feel you must do slide away.
It's a way to relax and be happy.
As anyone who is morbidly obese..
or has been...
will tell you...
I used to use food to make me happy..
or cheer me up.
or calm me down.
Now I use exercise for stress and anger relief.
I have myself defense class as a mission.
And my art is my fulfillment of me.
I have replaced the eating and the 'feeling' of fulfillment...
with actual fulfillment.
With things that mean something.
Not things that harm me.
So, in the morning...where I used to get up and skip breakfast and watch television..
Now I get up and go work out.
Or go to self defense class and then workout.
During the day I am cleaning and helping my family.
And in the evenings where all my dis spiriting thoughts would enter...
when I would again be watching tv and eating...
I am drawing.
I have wanted to blog...I have a lot to say.
But I am lacking time.
I need to make time slots to blog in..
because between homeschooling, drawing, working out and keeping up the house and all that entails..
I don't have any time.
I started down the road to get skinny, or in reality...to just not be fat.
Now I realize I really started down the road to come fully into who I want to be.
Getting skinny is not a goal.
IT's an outcome.
that will enable you to become all that you want to be..
I know from personal experience.
The inertia that comes with that feeling of having failed to be who you always thought you would be.
It's very easy to get caught in the mud.
to feel as if you CAN'T break free.
IT's a long hard climb out of the mud pit.
And it is very, very tiring..
especially when you are first beginning.
If you have been overweight or obese for a very long time..
you may think it isn't affecting you.
I would say you're wrong.
Even an extra 20 or 30 pounds is very tiring.
If skinny people don't know what I'm talking about...go get a 30 pound weight vest and wear it all day.
or better yet...130 pounds.
Obese people aren't lazy..
they are tired.
and they have used food as a coping mechanism.
Just like some skinny people use drugs, alcohol, or shopping...
Skinny people just hide their coping mechanisms better...
It's a lot of initial resistence.
If you have been tired, and using food for years.
you really have to take 3-6 months and just focus intensely to get the ball rolling.
But to start..
you simply begin.
No fancy diet
No fancy shoes, or clothes or detailed plans..
cap your calories and walk...
And you will begin to feel momentum.
I have really made my life what I want it to be.
I will write again in a few days.