What we label ourselves is very important.
When you name something, you integrate it into your perception of your world.
It becomes what you label it, in your mind.
For instance....the mean dog down the street.
You know, the one that growls at you as you pass on your walk.
You name it every day.
As you pass..(in my case, I call the dog cujo)
Now say one day the dog gets out, and it is standing on the side walk.
It isn't growling or acting aggressive..
But what would your reaction be....
I think what we call ourselves becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.
So if you are the "fat friend". Or the "class clown" and you ARE that for years on end....how much does that color how you interact with your environment.
How does it color your perception of what you are capable of accomplishing?
Maybe it's something as basic as your name?
What if you were named for something or someone who you don't respect, or admire.
You may feel like your identity was stolen before you had a chance to create your own.
Beginning to Reclaim your identity can be as simple as renaming yourself.
Shortening your name, lengthening your name...changing it entirely perhaps.
Writing a list of attributes you admire next to your name....old or new...
Stripping of self given names and trying on new ones.
I'm the empathetic friend..
The mathematically inclined friend..(not me btw!)
The artistic friend..
Creating positive connections between your name and your inner self is really key to feeling good about who you see in a mirror...
My associations, before I got well were:
Chris is the fat friend.
Chris is messy and unorganised.
Chris is a product of a dysfunctional upbringing.
When all of your inner dialogue is negative and disempowering, there isn't a whole lot of room for those 'moving forward' thoughts.
When there is only discomfort and shame associated with WHO YOU ARE...it doesn't lead to feeling very capable.
Begin your redefinition.
One step at a time, you can begin to create a new definition of who you are.
Have a great day.