Let's see what I can do...

Hey all,
Howsitgoing? lol.
I had a good day today..
I did the gym...lower body weights for the first time...FOR THE FIRST TIME.
That's right I said it.
I know people talk and talk about how weights don't bulk you up.
Well, I build muscle really easy...
I was afraid I would bulk up my lower half...which is where I carry most of my weight...my calves have been my nemesis since I was old enough to notice.
I've got big calves.
You know what I discovered today, much to my surprise...
My lower body is amazingly weak.
I can only do 40 pounds on the whole body leg press..
30 on the calf press...
Maybe my legs are fat because they contain...gasp....fat!
lol.
also...I only have 120 calories left of a 1600 calorie cap today...and I am probably going to be hungry before bed...so I am employing 'tricks'...
like eating celery and salsa.
I realize that I need a goal image as much now as I did before.
Before I only had an idea that I wanted to be 'thin'...which I got to when I squeezed my rear into a size 10....Size 8 was better...but I think I need something to go for...So, I will be looking around for a picture to stick on the fridge and different places to keep me motivated.
At a lower weight 200 calories can mean the difference between a loss and stasis...or even a gain. Every bite matters..
So, Let's see what I can do...
calories burned 450...2 miles walking, 2 miles precor and lower body weights....
Chris out.

Day 2- Everything counts....including you.

And I mean everything.
every bite.
every minute on the elliptical.
Every thought.

That is how you lose weight.
You elevate the relative importance of seemingly insignificant things.
Do I take a walk?
Do I eat that cookie?
Do I tell myself it's hopeless...

In order..
yes
no
no.
lol.

I haven't believed this weight loss thing is hopeless for quite a while.
But once upon a time I did believe that.
I told myself that for years.
I was reading Lisa's blog...
She was talking about the voice in your head that tells you things.

And folks...
What if it were as simple as reprogramming the things you tell yourself?
What was the difference between may 3rd, 2009 and may 4th, 2009?
Was there some sort of cosmic alignment?
Was I hit by a gamma ray...
bitten by a spider?

no.

I looked up, realized I was fat and thought.
"I am too good for this."
I am too smart, too something, to live like this.
And so are you.
You matter.
Today matters.
What you put in your mouth in the next hour, day, week and year...
it matters.
Your dreams matter.
Your thoughts matter.
You matter.
And the sooner you tell that to the voice in your head telling you that you CAN'T...Or you that you shouldn't because it's selfish, or you will fail or it won't matter in the long run...
The better.
Today 1596 calories consumed...
50 minutes on the elliptical and a one mile walk along with upper body weights and situps for a 630 calorie burn.
Have a great night guys.
Chris out.

And so it begins...

Hello,
This week went very well.
My 9 year old turned 10, and had a very good birthday party.
I had a good visit with my in laws...
And I am back on the Krab...
for noobs...
that means I am back to the gym 6 days a week and back to eating 1500-1600 calories a day.
Till goal weight.
I will weigh in on the 1rst of the month.
I will be logging my calories....and my exercise.
I can burn it down with the best of them.
So watch me roll.
Time to get back to me and my weight goal.
Hope all is well with you guys...
All is well with me.
off to read and comment.
Chris out.

Sunday...See you Friday...

Hey all,
My in laws are up for a visit. It's going to be a busy week so I won't be on...just wanted to drop in and say howdy. I'll be back on Friday with the start of my last big push to my goal weight. I explained all that in a previous post.
Today was beautiful btw.
Golden sunset...
Happy to be alive.
Have a great night guys.
Chris out.

Sick, Fat, and nearly Dead.....and ready to finish it.

That was me a little over two years ago. 
I had heart arythmia and all sorts of problems....deep cracks on my feet...I couldn't walk very far....
I sat on the couch all day...had no energy.
I have been on a weight loss hiatus for quite a while now...to be honest...for about 8 or 9 months really.  I have been focusing in on other things..which is good in a way..
I was 'sick' of focusing on my diet and my exercise...I wanted to live a bit.
My single minded focus was neccessary to give me momentum to lose that first 100 lbs. 
To turn a runaway train, you have to really go full  bore.
I had been doing 2 hours a day at the gym for nearly two years.
I had put everything and everyone on the back b urner....and put myself first.
And I wanted to give to my family for a while...
I wanted to spend time with my kids...
And we have spent time together..
hiking, and playing.
Things I could have never done before...
I installed a vegetable garden...with long days planting and digging and hoeing.
I could have never done so many of these things at 262 lbs.
I wanted to clean up my house..organize it...
I did.
I have had fun..eaten some food I hadn't really gotten to eat. (and gained about 5 pounds as a result)...
lol.
Now I am ready to finish it.
I have picked up the pace at the gym again
and starting on July 15th...I will be going full bore.
To 135.
I am ready to finish this thing....For the first time in a long time...the idea of the gym is exciting instead of stultifying.
The title of this blog came from a movie I watched and am currently re watching.
It reminded me that our food can make us healthy or make us sick.
I am ready to dive back into a protein, veggie and fruit diet with occasional grains.
I am ready to restrict my calories and pound the workouts.
I am ready...now for a clip from the aforementioned film...
It truly is inspirational...you guys should watch it if you get the opportunity.

Why people are crapheads to wait staff.....

okay,
So I had a higher calorie day (and an equally grand workout I might add)...and I am at my favorite local establishment waiting for a seat.
I am behind a dude who is rude. 
He is ordering to go....and he is condescending, abrupt, and generally a crap head.
He special orders everything, he repeats himself loudly, he sighs...
He says "GOT That?"
Then makes her re total the bill twice....and then realizes she is correct..
THEN runs a card that doesn't work and blames his wife who is conveniently absent...and leaves.

I pondered this....and have come to the conclusion that some people feel so small they endeavor to make others feel the same way.
What an irritating encounter.
I don't know what it is about people like that, but it makes me want to be twice as nice.
You know, waitresses and waiters have very hard jobs.
They deal with angry people....and take abuse for poorly cooked food....that isn't their fault.
They are on their feet and their pay is attrocious.
It takes two seconds to say thank you.
It takes as many words to speak nicely as it does to speak meanly.
It takes more muscles to frown than to smile...
and to reach back into my bag of snark...
yes, I am doing it...

And so, douchy guy with bad 80's mullet....consider yourself virtually smacked....that is all.
chris out.

Things aren't always what they seem.

Hello all,
been a while I know...
But I have been waging a war with bees in an air vent, growing pumpkins, and watering a garden etc.
I have been busy.
I had a very interesting thing happen tonight.
My youngest daughter came downstairs and said
"Mom, I have something to ask you...but you have to come and see it."
I said okay...
So I go upstairs and into my bedroom while she is leading the way.
She shows me a red velvet bag she pulled out of  my jewelry box with the name of a funeral home on it...
She said "What is this?"
I said "That is your great gramma's favorite necklace."

My gramma was wearing it the day she died.

My mom gave it to me after my gramma died, so I would have something to remember her by.
I vaguely remember taking it out at the time...seeing the knotted  and very thin little chain and the scuffed front of the heart shaped locket and thinking that this was an old, (and cheap) necklace. Frankly, at the time, I found it depressing.
A kind of symbol of all that My gramma didn't have.
I thought that I would keep it in my jewelry box as a way to honor her memory.
I never took it out again.
I never looked at it again.
But tonight my youngest wanted to see it...
So I took it out.
Now the last time I saw it was in my mom's bathroom...It was dark and poorly lit.
I took it out this time and the shine on the chain caught my eye...
I realized that it wasn't Tin...It just needed untangling, and cleaning.
So I took a tooth brush and some toothpaste and set about to cleaning the locket and rinsing and drying the chain....
It wasn't thin...it was twisted and delicate...
And it sparkled...and then Sophie said "What's that?"
There was very tiny print at the bottom of the locket.
I looked and couldn't make it out so she ran for her magnifying glass...
When we looked it said on the back of that locket.
14 kt. Gold.
It was Gold...
I mistook it for something else because I was tired and discouraged, and sad...
I had this necklace for the past 5 years....and I never looked any harder than I did that first day.
The front has a scuff....So I flipped it over.
I am wearing it right now.

In many ways it was like my gramma...worn down on the outside by life.
Luckily God can see the inside.
I know inside, my gramma was gold too.
She just needed some buffing.
It reminded me to look harder.
Thank God for young people.
They aren't too jaded to look.

chris out.