10.04.2011

A chimera of superiority.

I do wonder sometimes, What it is people see when they see their fellow man.
I think many times, the judgement that flows so freely from people is due to ignorance.
It is easy to judge when you have never stood in a person's shoes.
Easy to feel superior.
To say...I would never stoop to ______.
You pick it.
I see it every day.
How could she _____....I would never.
Really?
Have you ever been put in that situation.
I read what can only be termed a disgusting comment.
A person was irritated because the mother of a terminally ill child asked for help.
This person said "If you can't take care of your children, you shouldn't have had them."
This was obviously a fly by.
You know the type, troll and run.
Except they did it to a woman who is losing her child.
This commenter has never been to the point in her life where she had to ask for help.
Good for her.
When I was 30, I was in the same space.
I never thought I would get to a place emotionally that I would need someone to share my load.
A few years later, I knew better.
It's called compassion.
And life will teach it to you. 
Give it time.
And here is what I wrote and I think it applies to situations big and small.
To that hooker you see on a corner.
To that fat lady in line at mcdonalds...
To the emotionally illiterate individual trolling the internet, seeking to feel a chimera of superiority...

We have no concept of what is going on in the lives of others...none.
There but for the grace of God Go I...
So this is what I wrote:

 You have never had to ask for help lexy?
I pity you. It's one of life's great humbling moments...the day you discover that you aren't God, and even with every good intention and all the hard work in the world, somehow and somewhere life has brought you up short.
When you find you are incomplete in your wholeness and now must rely, not just on your friends..but On God as well. Or you would never make it through with your sanity intact. I know, I have been there. I have had hard times, my brother diagnosed with a terminal illness..my husband deployed four times to iraq, and a miscarriage...and I have been to the bottom emotionally, But.. I have nothing in my life that can compare to the PAIN it must be to wake up daily and watch your child suffer. No tank of gas, or gift card can bring back the years of living this child would have had. Whether anyone ever understands how many kids she has or doesn't have...it's not their concern. As friends, they are willing to help. Not judge. And By God, I hope you never stand in those Iron shoes, my friend.   

So, as Christ said "I desire mercy, not sacrifice."
As Christians...why aren't we out there extending mercy. This world needs it by the truckload.
Not one more uppity Christian with a need to lord it over others  about how perfectly they have managed their lives...when really, it's the grace of God.
 It's the three inches that seperated my daughter from a speeding 4 wheeler 4 years ago that saved me from being the mother of a dead child...it was my going to church and finding God at the age of 12, that probably saved me from promiscuity and a teen pregnancy....
The fact that I had A good man willing to work through the issues that life presented, that lived through all our separations, and survived ptsd and was willing to get healed from that, that saved my marriage from divorce. 
Two healthy kids.
not merit, but Grace.
A home and a job.
Some merit, a lot of Grace.

So...don't think your perfect because your blessed.
Thank God.
Because your blessed. 
Chris out. 

13 comments:

Rettakat said...

Yep... "mercy triumphs over judgement."

May we all had ears to hear your good word here.

Hanlie said...

*rises to feet and applauds*

Well said, Chris. I'm appalled at someone trying to score points off a mother on the verge of losing her child... Who does that?

Dr. Wayne Dyer teaches that if we have to choose between being right and being kind, we should choose kindness. I'm learning to do that, and it's not always easy, but it's so worth it.

carla said...

yes yes yes.

YES.


Carla

downsizers said...

Being judgmental has been difficult for me to overcome. I catch myself at it almost daily. Thank God I recognize it. When I see someone who doesn't fit my preconceived notions of how people should look and/or act I send them love. I send a prayer of blessing their way. And I pray for myself--for forgiveness because deep inside I know how wretched I would be without Jesus Christ who saves me from what I could have been. My impatience also troubles me - I have a lot to work on.

F. McButter Pants said...

You speak the truth! This world needs more MERCY ! I will say it again, I am never disappointed when I stop by your blog.

Tony said...

People can be such judgmental bitches. A little compassion never hurts.

Deb Willbefree said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Reva said...

good post Chris. We all have stories and could all be bitter or superior but you are right, but for the grace.......rjm

p.s. I used that to remind myself during the years I did foster care of abused and neglected children. What seperates us from them (the parents)??? Very little to be honest....

'Yellow Rose' Jasmine said...

The first time I read through this I was happy to see that there were no comments yet. I hope that the person who it was aimed at was able to see it and 'hear' where you were coming from without interpretation as there is none needed here.

Deb Willbefree said...

@ Yellow Rose Nuff said.

I don't know if you were referring to my comment, all of the comments, or a different specific comment--but in case it was mine, it's gone now.

I was not trying to provide "interpretation" or to offend your sensibilities in any way.

Just expressing my appreciation that Chris had hit a spot I was contemplating, myself, along with an explanation as to why this post hit home.

Removing one's tendency towards judgmentalism is a tough gig, isn't it Yellow?

Deb

Christine said...

okayyyy...before any other strange crap happens..please nobody erase any comments. I enjoy all opinions. no censoring here please. This is an open forum, and I enjoy other's points of view...Hugs.

'Yellow Rose' Jasmine said...

Whoa Deb, hold on-
Didn't realize my comment would be so misunderstood, but this is common in the written word with no other cues, no?
What I meant was that I hoped the person found it before the comments because the post was so good in its raw form.
Chris's stuff always elicits a bunch of dialogue because it is so good. There's nothing wrong with that.
That's why I mentioned that this was not my first read thru. I expected to come back to find comments, as always.
I have no idea what you wrote and certainly didn't mean anything personal.
Sorry for the misunderstanding.

bbubblyb said...

Good post Chris, thought provoking as always. Makes me thankful for all the things that "didn't happen" in my life and the things I did make it through with the help of God and others.