2.08.2011

Captain obvious writes about crap He finds interesting/irritating

okay,
chris is drawing...so she let me do this one.
I told her she is malingering...but she gave me the bird so here I am.

Captain obvious has nothing to say really...so the rest will simply be brain farts from a bored individual.

Captain obvious hates people who speak about themselves in the third person.
As if they are too important to NOT refer to themselves...



as if, much like staring into the sun itself...they must deflect their greatness in a verbal mirror so as not to blind us.

moving on...
referring to anyone as a nazi.
There was only one group of people evil enough to be called nazis...
And that was
The Nazis.
Any further reference to anyone being "nazi like" other than Nazis by anyone in any political party-or any news show- should henceforth result in painful consequences involving nipple clamps and car batteries.
And if you don't agree with me, then you sir, are worse than Hitler.

Captain obvious finds a lot of music these days to be irritating.
Captain obvious knows he is speaking about himself in the third person, but thinks you should ignore it and pay attention.

Captain obvious loathes Ke$ha....(this IS how it's spelled)
Captain obvious asked Chris's oldest daughter why Ke$ha could not just sing "I'm a whore, I'm a whore, I'm a whore"...
Kate stated that they couldn't find a way to make it catchy.
Captain obvious has no idea how this talentless tart achieved a record contract, but doubts it was her musical ability that vaulted her to the top of the business if you know what I am saying.
Captain obvious also hates snarky allusions, but like all good hypocrites he gives himself a pass when the situation merits.
(Lebron states that lebron would mute Ke$ha to hear lebron speak)

Captain obvious's top 12 movies (because top 10 lists are too cliche):

1.) Shaw shank Redemption
2.) Schindler's list
3.) V for Vendetta
4.) True Grit 2010
5.) We were soldiers
6.) The Count of Monte Cristo
7.) The sound of Music
8.) Dead Poets Society
9.) One True thing
10.) The Game
11.) It's a wonderful life
12.) Gettysburg

Captain Obvious's top ten items on his bucket lists...
(Since Bucket lists are too cliche to not use a top ten list.)

1.) Visit Spain
2.) Visit greece
3.) Learn to flamenco
4.) See Chris's Children succeed in life
5.) Illustrate a book
6.) Read War and Peace (not really,but I have to fill out this list)
7.) Try jellied eel
8.) attempt to sneak from mexico into the united states.
9.) fill a closet with nothing but jelly beans.
10.) become dictator of a small foreign nation.

Well, Captain obvious is tired of being Captain obvious.
It's a strain.
I would like to be General (ly) obvious.
Greatness cannot be restrained...so I am trading up...
You may find me at greater blogs in the future.
I can't be emotional about this decision...
Captain obvious has to do what's best for Captain obvious...
chris will have to understand.
obviously done,
Captain out.

(Captain obvious would like to report that Chris did some yoga..whatever hippy crap that is.)

2.07.2011

malingering...and a special blog post.

Hope you don't mind, but I don't feel like it...so I will let my friend mary do the speaking for me.
Mary and I have wonderful conversations.
And this post was a part of one of those conversations.
She is smart and funny, but she is also extremely concise...and this post is very to the point.
We were talking about the age of 17...
How you are caught between knowing everything and knowing nothing....

Here it is..with her permission.
Mary writes:

Okay, 17 might not've QUITE been that bad, but it really did suck to feel so unsure about everything, yet put on the bravado like one who knew what she was doing, thinking, feeling.
If I did go back, I'd do some things differently food and exercise-wise.
I wouldn't quite be the hermit-in-a-cave that I was at home.
Granted, I've had a lot more time to get over some things * item redacted* than I did then--time does help some with the big stuff.
Other than those things, though, I don't think I'd change anything. My friends were the most authentic people *item redacted to protect the not so innocent* could manage. ;)
The world wasn't ready for me to go to the prom with a date I actually wanted (I never did go to a prom--I always did hate frilly dresses).

My major changes would've been in college and after. I would've done more things that I was afraid to try (like my spur of the moment decision to apply for the India Fellowship--that was something I thought about for 2 years before I tried it). I would've applied for the Peace Corps or AmeriCorps after graduation like I wanted, rather than worrying about how Mom and Dad would feel. In short, I would've lived my life for me, not for them. Oh, and when I was 30 I wouldn't run into a Jeep Cherokee and mangle myself. lol

Alas, we don't get to go back and rewrite our histories. There are no do-overs in life. Still, our histories are a part of us. They made us who we are at this particular moment of our lives. We must not use the past as an anchor to weigh us down, but rather as a base to launch ourselves forward to the people we truly are.

Physically.

Emotionally.

Spiritually.

If there's one thing I've actually learned in this lifetime (for Shirley Maclaine), one cannot "hold off" being oneself until later without some major repercussions. In my case, it's about 200 pounds of fat, rampant insomnia, and prescriptions for blood pressure pills and antidepressants. It's a world without love or sex or even (especially) feeling. It's a life that is forfeit--a life not LIVED.

There, how's that for an inspiration speech (the last paragraph, anyway)?

I think it did very well as an inspirational speech.

I think I slipped into writing a blog instead of an email.
(she did and if you all could convince her to start her own you would never be disappointed)

lol If it meets your standards, feel free to use it on a night you don't feel like writing
(That would be tonight)

--you can get your art on instead. :)
(or spend a couple hundred on space heaters and spend the rest of the night placing them around my house)

Good night all,
Oh, got my run and walk in...400 calories burned..yah.hoo.
lol.
chris out.

2.06.2011

seventeen

Hello,
just wanted to first type out that I did my workout yesterday and then only did a half mile walk today...but it constitutes exercise...so my streak is intact...it is, in fact, my cheat meal day so obviously my calories were above and beyond.
I ran out of time today.
But the best part of today was that it was my oldest daughter's birthday.
She turned 17.
Time goes fast.
she had a few friends over.
They watched Taken with liam neeson and then ate and then watched anime and then mocked old star trek episodes which admittedly looked like fun.
I tried to stay upstairs and let them have fun.
they are all good kids.
I made her a cake with a picture of the earth on it...which isn't easy.
It may seem simple, but sculpting continents out of frosting is not easy.
Kate wants to visit every country in the world...
hence a picture of the globe.
Then I made her spaetzle.
a german noodle.
you make the dough and drop it into boiling water..
This is where those kooky germans usually stop...plating it and putting some gravy on top.
Not I...
We like to fry ours in butter until it's golden and crispy.
God bless america.
There isn't anything we can't take and make more fattening.
Kate loves this and it's a tradition in our house to make the kids whatever they want for dinner on their birthday.
Something akin to a last meal on death row. lol.
anywhoozle.
I don't have tv and so didn't watch the superbowl.
I hear that the gal who sung it muffed it,
and that the rest of the game was a blowout.
*I have been corrected...not a blowout, a 3 point loss..
*and correction again, neither Deb nor I were correct..it was a 6 point loss, and considering they were down 21-3 in the first quarter...I am going back to blow out.
next sentence still stands.
But I have to say to that ben guy who gets his jollies abusing women..
karma is a witch.
Chris out.

2.04.2011

muscle failure

It's all coming back to me now...
lol,
muscle failure...
okay first things first.
really good with the calories today..
Ever since I instituted my 'no sugar in the coffee' rule..I use splenda
A.) I have been less hungry.
B.) I have saved a buttload of calories which I can now apply to food.
C.) I haven't missed it..and that is really key.

I wish I 'd done it sooner.
So I went to the gym..I think I've said before I should just live there...lol.
And I worked out..
Today was 1mile walk, 1mile jog, 1 mile walk, 1mile jog jog....
So I go in and start with the pushups...today I squeezed out 23.
That was good.
Then I did my situps..
now let me just say...a half hour before going to work out..I did NOT want to work out.
at all.
no compunction whatsoever..but when i get like this I say to myself.
'That is how olympic athletes do it, they do it...like breathing.'
It's not optional.
So I go.
I am in training.
So I did 60 situps of varying kinds.
AFter i completed my 23 pushups.
If I do my sit ups first, it makes the pushups harder.
Then I go and walk a mile and then jog a mile.
I jog to boys of summer by Don Henley.
For some reason it is the perfect pace for me.
Plus it reminds me of Tigers baseball and Detroit.

after my first 1/1 I go down and do upper body weights..
lat pulls (3x15 @ 60 lbs)...triceps...(3x15@55lbs) lower back extensions (3x15@ 55 lbs)
and flys (3x15 @ 55 lbs)
These were hard because of the pushups.
on my second 1/1 the run was hard because I was tired..but I pushed through..and as I got through my last lap I remembered something.
I remembered how we 'improved our push-up'
We would go to muscle failure.
light dawns.
So I decide to go down after my workout and do push-ups till I face plant into the matt.
I do 10 and face plant into the mat...
I do four more and face plant.
3 more...and this time I face plant into a little pile of drool.
which causes me to begin laughing uncontrollably.
2 more and then one final humiliating pushup while grunting and nearly peeing myself....

after which I couldn't lift my arms above my head for the next hour or so..
tomorrow is simply elliptical day so I will burn calories and rest my arms...but will still do the 120 situps.
In the mornings I seem to be weighing in at 145...and at night 145.5.
Which is awesome.
As for hunger...up till yesterday I was really hungry all.day.long.
But it's better now.
I had a 6 inch black forest ham sandwich from subway with sour cream and chive baked lays and a diet coke.
It was an awesome dinner and I ate it in under 10 minutes. lol.
I am sitting at 1470 for the day...YAY!
So, on track..
I will try to be more philosophical tomorrow.
hugs,
Chris

2.03.2011

working out with hubby and blood pressure.

I checked my workout schedule and it wasn't a run day, it was a three mile walk and stretch day.
This is technically my 'rest' day.
It was hard to do after yesterday.
I wanted to go in and push and drop some extra calories.
But resting the body is important...and as I have learned through hard experience, if you don't rest your body, your body will rest you.
so I did it.
I also cut out sugar and very carefully managed my calories. I have done extremely well.
I am at 1490 and am done eating.
I am extremely happy with how today went.
I also find it interesting that coffee without the sugar wasn't nearly the pick me up I was used to.
We will see where this goes over the next few days.
My husband went and walked with me the three miles.
It was nice.
We talked and it was better than watching a movie together.
I also sat down and check my blood pressure which was 121 over 69 after I worked out.
My resting pulse was 78.
I was very happy with that..
when I started I was around 95 bpm at rest.
blood pressure I had no idea.
Now my husband's was like 120 over 89, which I do find concerning.
...
But he said he was going to start going to the gym more often so YEAH!
lol.
It only took two years, but I think he is coming around.
peristence pays people.
Have a great night.
Hugs,
Chris

2.02.2011

maximum efforts, minimum results? Try this...

okay,
I am in the 'the numbers work' camp when it comes to weight loss.
Is or are there reasons why they won't?
Yes.
But, if you are one of those...then this post isn't for you.

Last month for me was a good example of how you can be putting in a maximum effort in one area and falling short in another.
And trust me, there is nothing more frustrating than putting forth maximum effort in one area and having another screw you up.
For me it's food.
Always has been, always will be.
I like it.
I love it.
I love the way it tastes, smells...you name it.
That is why I work out like a dog.
So I can eat when I want to
great for maintenance.
Sucks for weight loss.
I am now trying to train for a pt test and lose my last 13 to 14 pounds ( to initial goal weight..not necessary but it gives me something to shoot for...only 5 pounds to normal bmi).
one pound a month is not acceptable to me.
I can do 3..but 1.
um no.
Counting my calories is key.
Tonight I fell down on the job in a big way and went over by 300 calories.
How did I do that..
well....
I forgot to count the 3 hard candy pieces I sucked on (60)...the milk in two cups of coffee (65) and five ritz crackers (80!) and the butter on my bagels (100) that was 300 calories.
I tried adding it up at the end of the day instead of the beginning...while I was eating my egg white omelet for dinner.
When I realized my rather large mistake I threw out the last 1/4th of my omelette...saving me around 65 calories and bringing my calorie total in at 1805.
ouch.
I burned 700 calories today..I busted my @ss..and all I have to show for it is a lousy 350 calorie deficit ...that will lose me a pound in 10 days..if I exercised like a maniac all ten days ...which I won't.
tomorrow is a scheduled 450 calorie burn...If I did what I did today tomorrow...I would have a 100 calorie deficit to show for all my work.
So I have no intention of letting that happen again.
So, what do I do to make sure that doesn't happen?
I know what to do.

1.) no grazing between meals.
2.) see above.
3.) Drink my water...10 cups minimum
4.) eat high protein, low fat, high veggie meals. (they keep me full)
5.) log my food through out the day..not at the end.
6.) DROP THE SUGAR FROM MY COFFEE
(if I had done this today, used splenda instead of sugar, I would have saved 180 calories and had a 500 calorie deficit instead.)
7.) space my meals into 4 instead of 3...I get up at 7 in the morning. If I eat at 8 and then 12:30 there is a heckuva long time between lunch and dinner..I workout between 4-6.
After I am done with my workout...this is my danger zone and it is also where I have been consuming unwanted calories.
So..if I drop the sugar It leaves room for a small meal...
So...make breakfast 300 tops, lunch 300 tops, coffee 65 tops...snack after 250 tops and dinner my big meal at 600.
I know that some people on lower calorie plans think this sounds like a lot, but I am burning 400 to 600 calories per day in exercise...so it would be akin to you eating 900-1100 calories a day.
Sounds a little different now?
yeah.

Well, that is what I will be doing to take the most advantage of my exercise schedule.
Did my elliptical...upper body weights (UBW from now on) 140 situps ( I did them in two sets and miscounted) and 22 pushups (which were harder than I thought they would be for some reason)
Have a great night..
Here is to a better tomorrow.
Night,
Chris

2.01.2011

In training

Hello all...
bleck
well....I am 145.5 which is not a gain, but is a craptastic loss.
two weeks on maintenance calories for a completely avoidable iron deficiency will do that to you plus Tom and his miraculous first of the month appearance (not to mention my long running nemesis..the buttered cracker).
Don't screw with your health people, trust me, it puts you further behind in the long run.
So,
I said screw the scale for now, i put it away..in a stellar month I would lose 3-4...that isn't enough to get anyone stoked.
I am counting calories and I am in Training.
1500 calories a day.
exercise every day till may (18th) which will be my 2 year weigh in date.
Think I will do one heckuva slide show.
anywhoozle.
on my 37th birthday I will be doing a pt test..
and when I told my nine year old that she said
"Oh, kind of like a celebration"
I love it when my kid gets me.
yes.
The last pt test I had a hope in hell of passing was at the age of 19.
18 years ago.
yeah.
I am going to pass this thing...and I have laid out a fitness schedule to beat all fitness schedules.

I am hoping (via numbers) to lose 3 pounds this month.
But my main focus is the army pt test.
2 mile run in under 20 minutes...
minimum 78 situps and 40 pushups Both in under 2 minutes.
I have laid out a pushup schedule, as the situps don't scare me..
I do 120 a day.
This week I will be looking to do 22 push ups every other day.
Next week it will be 24
then 26
28
30
32
34
and I am hoping to either develop faster than I think I will or that on pt test day I will have adrenalin to carry me through...which is entirely possible.
I don't know..
I have had a hard time lately turning down the extra 100 to 200 calories at night that is partly to blame for stalling or slowing my loss.
But tonight saying.."I am in training" seems to change the game for me.
Spent tonight watching a movie with my oldest and then doing a makeover with my youngest.
I went to the gym today and did a two mile walk and a mile and a half jog..then 120 situps and 20 minutes on the stairstepper..
great day food wise....1500.
See you all tomorrow.
Hugs,
Chris