A self fulfilling prophecy

From wikipedia:
The self-fulfilling prophecy is, in the beginning, a false definition of the situation evoking a new behaviour which makes the original false conception come 'true'. This specious validity of the self-fulfilling prophecy perpetuates a reign of error. For the prophet will cite the actual course of events as proof that he was right from the very beginning.[1]

LOL...A reign of Error..
That ever happen to anyone, ever?
I am not pretty.

This can lead to things like allowing yourself to take no care in your appearance...To not bother to dress up. To never apply makeup, or to shlump around hunched over in the hopes that you will be 'invisible' and that no one will think you think too much of yourself. To dress yourself in shades of beige and navy and black to minimize your width or existence. To always buy pretty and beautiful things for others, but never yourself...noticing only your flaws and imperfections and never your better qualities.

Have you ever noticed that
A.) pretty (as a definition) is relative to each person.
Some people think paris hilton is beautiful...
And some people think she looks like a stick insect...
Some people think beyonce is beautiful...
and some people think she is too thick.
I saw lea Thompson this weekend.

The actress.
She was signing books at our px.
She looked like a 'normal' person.
I know a lot of guys who thought she was 'it'.
She looks like a soccer mom.
Except when she gets all duded up.
Then she looks 'pretty'.
I saw a prime example of this the other day.
I saw an overweight woman who had put a skirt and heels on...ala

Now Monique in Precious


Thinking you are or are not something is often a  result of ignorance dealt out to you by others. 
Perhaps someone had their own ideal of beauty and you weren't it.
Bully for them.
Be beautiful in your own way.

Another self fulfilling prophecy.

I am stupid.
Saying that to yourself is poisonious.
This will lead to all sorts of stupid behavior.
Like discounting your own opinion.
Letting others tell you how to live.
Letting others talk down to you.
Now the combination of these two is devestating and often leads to things like:

Staying with an abusive partner.
Thinking no one could possibly love you.
Thinking you 'get what you deserve'.

And it leads to creating a glass ceiling over your life where you tell yourself that this is as good as it gets, this is as far as you will go, and this is all you will ever be.

And you have (with help) essentially done this to YOURSELF.
By allowing the labels to stick.
So begin the relabeling process. 
If God is a king.
You are a princess...
or a prince.
Don't forget it.
Chris out. 


Jodie said...

Simply Awesome. Thanks Chris!

downsizers said...

I used to tell my students that they are not what we see. I told them they were inside there, their outsides, their bodies, were the shell in which they lived and moved and breathed. Someone who just saw Mother Theresa would not have been impressed but she was beautiful. What a tragedy it is that many are so shallow. Kids learn early how to compete with clothes and possessions. Girls wear makeup much too early and dress suggestively. We suffer as children from cruel words about looks. Thank you Chris for pointing out that we can determine what we are as we live here on earth for a time by the messages we send to ourselves.

bbubblyb said...

Great post Chris :)

Rettakat said...

"A reign of error."!!

Powerful post, Chris. I've never heard it explained quite like this. What a great reminder. Thank you!

Lisa said...

LOVE THIS POST. I kinda posted about the same thing tonight. I love your insight.

'Yellow Rose' Jasmine said...

Just how ridiculously good is this stuff, really Christine?!

This life is so truly what we make of it and you have expressed this idea with detail and a unique viewpoint.

Thank you for being a positive influence with such a powerful voice for truth.

Jack Sh*t, Gettin' Fit said...

Okay... so that's why African-American ladies get so mad when I call them "Precious"... I get it now...

Helen said...

Well said!

Putz said...

waaat, you say you are not pretty<><><>never noticed<><><>seriously i always attached to your words and your pics were always ok<><><>very very nice so it really all is in the head, and your music selection is absolutely wonderful, i must say even better, yesBETTER than amber's jonh denver, just barely better though<<><>even ole liberace<><>><><>i would like to see you in our mormon congreation<><>,.i am now on this kick where i want all my good friends to be mormons, but this too will pass

Mary said...

"And you have (with help) essentially done this to YOURSELF.
By allowing the labels to stick.
So begin the relabeling process.
If God is a king.
You are a princess...
or a prince.
Don't forget it."

Love that part especially...
I always feel like you write your posts specifically for me. Thank you