Eliminating self hate

My post yesterday dealt with a flaw I have. 
Not doing well with new things.
I would like to talk today about labels given to us by broken people.
Usually they are projections of a person's own self hatred.
I had many labels given to me by people who had been damaged by life.
As a child..I could not see that these people were damaged.
So I internalized their labels as truth.
When they were, in fact, lies.
One label that was attached to me was the label "Dummy'.
I never tried very hard in school.
But as I grew older, I realized..
I am no dummy.
I was also labeled as 'clumsy'.
I may have had clumsy times...but most of my errors were a result of fear.
I spilled things because I was scared and nervous, not because I was clumsy.
I was called prissy.
Because I liked to dress up.
Now to some people...that might be 'prissy'..
These days I like to think of it as 'having style'.

Maybe that's simply a relabeling.
I like to think of it as simply a different perspective.
We need to stop accepting someone's view of us as some sort of ultimate truth...
They are humans.
They are not infallible.
They could have had the best intentions..
But if they left a trail of self  hatred inside of you..
Then I would not hesitate to say..
That estimation of you and your person is a lie.
And you need to discover the beautiful you inside.
There is nothing wrong with you.
Or inherently stupid, or clumsy, or disorganized.
You have all sorts of things to give.
You have a talent.
You have an ability...that no one else can use in quite the same way.
And any labels or definitions that stop you, or scare you away from trying.
They are labels that need to be dumped.
We all have flaws...
No one is perfect..
But only you can be you...flaws and all..
And both you and I are a gift to this world.
God's gift, as it were...
And self hate and playing small is telling God he made a mistake..
When he did no such thing.
I intend to find my flaws and my gifts and improve myself and celebrate me..
and be the best me I can be..


My name WAS Female, I shit you not! said...

Awesome YOU! (((hugs)))Pat

Robin said...

I think that it is a real gift when you figure out whose words to give power to, and whose words to shut out. It is the rare child who has this skill. Most kids take it all in. And the harsher words always seem to have the most power. As an adult, we spend so much time sorting through that and releasing the power from those words. Even words said today. In some ways, understanding that what other people think is not nearly as important as what you KNOW is its own superpower. Truly. People who get that can soar. Some of Marshall Mather's best quotes have to do with his understanding that he cannot allow other people to define him. Some will love, some will hate. And none of it matters. I still love him for his body, but he is super smart, too. My crushes die out if there is no substance to back them up. Just sayin'. Anyway, great post.

Hanlie said...

A lot of our labels are just habits and habits can be changed, as long as we change the belief behind it. Good post!

Joy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Joy said...

Sorry I redid this. I had to make a correction..

My label...since I was 4 was "stupid" I too had to learn that I am not stupid and to let that go.

I have so learned to let go of stuff like that from my past. You know the illustration that shows when both of your hands are too full of something, you CAN'T get anything more. Well I decided to let go of stuff from my childhood. And you know what? The Lord filled them with new possibilities. He filled them with life and joy.

I don't look back, because God told me to lay that stuff at His feet.

I look forward, like a child, with wonderment and expectation of something brand new just for me.

I'm praying that you too will ask Him to fill your hands with something brand new....just for you!

Stay focused!!