And Fat doesn't make you miserable.
Who you are inside is many times reflected on the outside.
The exterior is often a symptom of an interior issue.
Fix that issue...(Or in my case ISSUES) and it is in the natural order of things for the physical to follow.
I was thinking about this today..
And I realized that I am happy....
Truly happy for the first time in a long time.
Happy irrespective of my body weight.
In fact, the last time I went to the doctor I weighed backwards.
Because for the first time ever...the number didn't matter.
I didn't want it to matter.
I wanted ME to matter.
I am not a number.
I am still in the same clothes.
I am still eating mindfully...counting calories.
I am exercising 6 days a week..
When I reach the pant size I want..I will weigh..
I will post some pictures along the way so you don't all get the idea that I am on some twinkie blowout binge. lol.
But I realized the number is just a marker.
It's not everything.
It doesn't define me.
I want to be healthy and strong.
Today I capped my calories at 1700 and did my whole body workout with my friend.
I walked a half mile afterward.
It's the way I started in the beginning..
Just exercising daily...and keeping my calories under 1800.
I am no longer confused.
I know who I am.
I know what I want.
I have an idea of who I want to be..
I just have to make it happen.
So I just keep doing what I have been doing.
My house is nearly clean...The only places left in my home that aren''t completely organized are my children's rooms...
and right now I am working with my youngest...it's a process of letting go of things and finding a permanent place for what is left.
I think my disorganized home was a product of a disorganized mind...as my mind settled into place.
As I figured out what I truly believe, and how I wanted to live...
my house begins to reflect my mind.
Just like my body reflects my mind and emotions.
Every day is a day to move forward and leave what is past behind.
The feeling of letting go gets stronger every day.
Today as I was working out I used positive words to motivate myself...
Instead of "don't quit"..I thought...you are strong and you can do it...
Instead of worrying about what I didn't get when I was a child, I choose to focus on what I have made of my life..I no longer come from a place of lack..
My God supplies all my needs..I have a family, friends and a church home.
Instead of moving away, I have begun to move towards.
I am done with fear.
Like my husband said today...
our children's childhoods have been nearly ideal....
living in one place, an intact, happy set of parents...a house, a nice little neighborhood..
friends...a middle class upbringing..
It's worlds away from what we experienced.
We have made a good life.
Next up...achieving MY ideal body.
Not anyone elses....and I will know it when I see it.
The number won't make me happy...
feeling fit will...achieving my goals will...being a person I would have admired when I was a child..Figuring out what I want to do with the rest of my life is up to bat as well..
As I move forward, I have a feeling God will begin placing things in my path....
That will be priceless.
Have a great night guys.