Avoiding weight loss burn out....

hey all...
Back from my day, such as it was...
which simply included a ton of running around getting not a lot accomplished.
Done with that.
I did buy 50 lbs of potatoes for 10 dollars from a nice old hispanic man on the side of the road.
Keeping it local.

anywhoozle.
I was listening to christian radio the other day.
And was cleaning..
kind of half in and half out with the listening..
When something the preacher said made me say WHAT!
Luckily he repeated that..
he said
"I repeat, It isn't striving with passion toward your goal that burns you out...it's striving towards a goal you feel is UNATTAINABLE that burns you out."
(Don't you love it when that happens..you miss it and God knows it's important so he has the dude repeat it?!)
And BING.
lightbulb.
When did I run into my big old mucking around?
Really last july when I went back to michigan...
and then kept trying and trying.
When I got down to 145 and felt phhhhtttt.
what's the difference between 135 and 145.
It's never going to make my body 20 years old and perky.
and just like that BLAMMO.
Motivation kinked.
And it's true.
My body will never be a 20 year old body.
The time for that has passed.
But, I can be healthy.
AND...
I can win.
Over every bad thing that happened to me.
Over every fear.
Every mean comment.
Every moment when I thought they might be right..
That I will never again be as thin as I was when I was 19..
That isn't true.
I will be and I will be healthier..
It may not look the same.
It may all be a little further south.
That's okay.
Because my motivation isn't to be 20.
It's to be whole.
So figure out what your motivation is...
And make sure that it isn't unattainable...through weight loss.
Weight loss will not make you happy.
Get you the perfect boyfriend.
Make you rich.
Take care of your relationship issues.
IT will give you a sense of accomplishment.
It will give you a sense of health.
IT will give you a better quality of life.
To avoid workout and weight loss burnout...set your goals and make them attainable and relevant.
Chris out.
P.S.  I am starting a little something I'll call "Letters to Omar'

Omar is my psuedo coach and the crazy booger who designed those workout programs I am using.
The omar who wants me to drink ALMOND MILK...
Almond milk isn't actually possible.
Almond being a nut and milk being something extracted from mammals.
And it took two stores to find it.
My letter to omar tonight...
Dear Omar:
If I can't find almond milk, Can I use butter milk? .
Sincerely,
Chris

Have a great night guys.

Full Body workout number 2...better.

I cut those full body workouts by 1/3rd.
After that last full body workout I couldn't even walk the next few days.
Now, I am sore but am able to go to the gym tomorrow.
Sore is just another word for 'working'.
I will go grocery shopping tomorrow.
It is a biggie because I need a few things I don't normally get..
like iodized sea salt.
I just wanted everyone to know that I read your comments.
I always read the comments.
I don't always get time to comment on the comments because I don't always have access to t he computer.
But I do appreciate them and the people who read here.
The next few months should be very productive.
I hope you all had a great night.
I did.
Hang in there and keep plugging.
I will too.
Chris out.

Trauma, abuse and the fat shield

Hello all,
This post was a long time coming.
I am writing this post because quite frankly, I can't not write this post.
This post's topic is the whole reason I had 130 lbs to lose.
This post  is necessary because I see people daily who I know, and or suspect have a 'fat shield' for this very reason.
YOu don't get fat because you love lugging hundreds of extra pounds around.
You are eating to fill a void.
Don't bullshit me.
To fill a void or create a barrier.
Some people fill the void with other substances...
alcohol...drugs....whatever.
Some people create a barrier by being gregarious...funloving...but always at a distance emotionally.
I created a barrier through my fat.
You want to know why I don't weigh in anymore.
because even now....the lower weight creates a persistent feeling of dread.
I FEAR.
I fear being VULNERABLE.
I fear being VICTIMIZED.
I fear being NOTICED.
As my husband says: "He noticed me...nom nom nom."
When men notice me, I get very uncomfortable.
The lower my weight went..the worse it got.
The stasis over the last year has a lot to do with the persistent feelings of dread.
Simply keeping myself where I am has been a challenge.
So...
When I see someone who is morbidly obese and they can't figure why...why can't they let the weight go..
I know.
It's a shield to protect them.
Or it's a void that they are filling.
And they are wondering..
If I give up this comfort...or this shield.
What will I be getting in return.
I know what they will be getting in return.
I KNOW.
And still I struggle.
So don't think I don't understand.
Just because someone is now thin....Don't think they don't understand where you are.
I do.
I am going to finish this...
NOT in a grand eloquent way..
Like a ballet.
But hard till the finish.
I NEED to get to my goal weight.
When I say I do this to WIN...it isn't for a pants size.
It's so what happened to me does not define me in a negative way.
I have to do this so that I can PROVE that anyone can overcome anything.
EVEN BECOMING THE THING YOU FEAR WILL HURT YOU.
Because I know it isn't true.
so don't do this because you think it will give you a potential mate or children..
or a great ass.
or more money.
Do it for you...so you KNOW what you are capable of...
SO you can live a long healthy life, knowing you are in charge of nearly everything you put your heart and mind to.
If you are on the fence about this, do it.
It won't make  you happy....but it will make you awake...
because you can't use your crutch
you will have to face your feelings.
You will have to face your fears.
You will have to face the results of your poor choices.
And then you will discover you can change them.
That the past is the past and the future is what you make of it.
For good or ill.
YOu can do this.
And so can I.
Love,
Chris 

There is pain...and then there is this workout....

okay..
this is what I  did tonight at the gym...
The workout I thought was a little 'light duty' when I started...but soon discovered I was wrong?! well..
here you go.
single leg squats 10 reps each side
no rest
bent over row with barbell
12 reps
no rest
romanian deadlift with same barbell
12 sets
no rest
bench press
15 reps
no rest
swiss ball crunch
15-20 reps
90 second rest
then redo all of the above 2 more times..

Next set
reverse lunge
10 times each leg
no rest
bentover row (again!)
10 reps
no rest
forward lunge with one arm extended
10 per side
no rest
bench leg raise
10 reps
90 second rest  repeat 2 more times

3rd set
sumo squat with dumb bell
12 reps
no rest
French press (triceps)
12 reps
no rest
barbell curl
12 reps
no rest
Mountain climber
15 PER SIDE
(30 total)
90 second rest...
and you guessed it...repeat 2 more times.

This whole thing is the first workout created by the little booger below.
Whom I was cursing by the time I finished.



I had better have an ass like an anvil when I am finished.
That's all I'm sayin'.
By the time I was done with this I was supposed to do 20 minutes of moderate exercise tha twould raise my heart rate to 115 to 120 beats per minute.
I hobbled around the track doing an impression of an invalid and completed 2 miles in about 45 minutes. lol.
Tomorrow I do sprints.
We shall see.
Wednesday is a 'different whole body workout'.
I just pray to God there are fewer squats and lunges.
That's all.
Have a great night guys.
Chris out.

ouch....that was hard!

Hey all,
I went to the Gym and am currently sitting at 870 calories (aiming for 1500) and I did a ton of squats today. That was hard.  I did 40 minutes of cardio and some ab work...mostly lower ab work...here, I will post some links to where I got the 'ideas'.



and



So when I got on the elliptical my legs felt like water...so I think It is working.
Now I am going to go have dinner and hopefully get to bed early.

Have a great night guys.
Chris out.

First day and focus

Hey all, for the first few days I am going to be blogging quite a bit.  I am taking this idea from King Al Klein...who lost bunches a very difficult way, but blogging was a way he could get through his day focused.
So my plan today...eat clean..
breakfast is egg whites green and red bell pepper and 1 oz mozzerella cheese and coffee with cream and splenda...
250 calories.
I am going to the gym this afternoon.
Hope you guys have a great day.
And Al, if you read this, where'd you go?
Chris out.

Just DO It...

Well Folks,
I have been mucking about for about a year...content to float along above normal...
I was happy where i was...It was all good.
I am ready to get to the end of the weight loss portion of this journey.
I will weigh in on May 18th, 2012...
Three years to the day I started this journey.
Whatever weight I am at that time I will maintain.
I will have my friend take a picture..
The same friend who was with my when I first stepped on the scale.
There will be visual proof.
I weigh around 156-158...so weighing in isn't necessary.
I will weigh at the end.
The proof is in the numbers...
I'll post my calorie intake and my exercise burn.

I will be blogging daily like I did when I started.
Whatever is in my head will be on my blog.
It may be good, bad or indifferent...
But all my thoughts and frustrations and whatever will be there for the world to see.
So be warned, all ye recent readers....I can use foul language...
and when I go full bore I am hard core.
I am starting tomorrow.
If anyone else wants to jump in to get to goal, then we can be accountable to each other.
Jo, I know you aren't far....
It would be awesome if we finished together.
So...Here we go..
Hugs,
Chris.