8.23.2011

create a new truth....

Truth.
I was talking to my oldest about this concept yesterday.
What is it...etc.
We both agree that there IS an objective truth outside of people's perceptions...A truth that doesn't disappear simply because we wish it were different.
But we both agreed that perception is reality.
How you view anything will skew how you deal with the problem or opportunity at hand.

For instance...
For years I knew...KNEW...I was fat...obese.

Whatever you want to call it..
fluffy..
round...
chubby...
pleasantly plump....

But I dismissed it.
Mostly because every time I attempted to deal with it I would run into the process of weight loss with a  combination of dread and magical thinking.

My goals went something like this:
I am going to be hot(t).
I am going to fit into a size ____
and
I will eat 1200 calories and exercise every day till I get there.

It became a kind of long form punishment for my eating "sins".
I deserved to suffer because I had been lazy and a glutton.
So, Now it was time to starve and exercise.

Which for me is not realistic.
But, No matter how many times I tried this approach and failed...I never questioned the approach..
only my lack of 'will power'.
Each new attempt built a wall of inevitability.
That I would always be fat.

Then in 2005 I thought I had found my cure all.

I thought that if only I could eat low carb...
and I lasted six months...on induction.
(which is NOT how you do atkins)
I lost 30 lbs...
and I cracked.
I ate every carb in sight and gained back all I had lost and then gained some on top of that.
You see, I never had an eye on long term.
I never asked myself, "Can I do this for the rest of my life."
So my Truth became "I am incapable of losing weight."
Which looking back, obviously is not true.
I allowed my ignorant approaches to dissuade me from future effort.
Even while I was in the middle of the crazy, and knew it was crazy...
I kept convincing myself that the only way to be thin was to suffer...and to suffer for the rest of your life.
No wonder I gave up.

I like food.
Am I really going to eat 1200 calories for the rest of my life? No.
Am I really never, ever going to eat french bread or cheesecake..(real cheesecake) again?
Nope.

So, This last go around, you know how I started?
I said to me..
Me.
You are fat.
And no matter what you do, this will not be coming off overnight.
And whatever else you are doing, you certainly aren't paying attention to how many calories you are consuming.
So...cap your calories at 1800 and take a walk.
every day.
So I did.
I knew I could do that.
I was full.
I still had foods I liked
And after about a week I gained some confidence.
I increased my walk.
I took no magical pills.
I went up my road and back.
I bought no equipment.
Not even tennis shoes.
or exercise clothes.
I walked around in button down shirts and stretchy pants.
After two weeks I weighed myself and got my 'beginning' weight.
And nearly passed out.
But I knew the truth.
I knew what worked.
I knew I could lose weight.
And I kept going.
By facing each obstacle squarely,
and not trying to find an easy out.
I got thinner.
And thinner.
and thinner.
I am a little over two years in now.
And am still chugging away.
I can keep going..
Because this is possible.
And once you know an objective truth, you can't un know it.
It makes me feel better about the occasional gluttonous meal...
or a gain of a pound or two.
Because, the truth is..that's life.
And,
the truth is, it will never be over.
And the truth is...
I am glad I started.
And the truth is...
I am healthy.
I am happy.
And I have created this.
and the truth is..
so can you.
Chris out.

17 comments:

Hungry For a Quiet Mind said...

That was exactly what I needed to hear today. Thanks!!!!!

Deb Willbefree said...

Hmmm. Well. My truth is that unless I eat less than 1400 cals a day, I don't lose weight.

Hence, I'm not losing weight.

My truth also is that if I eat much more than 50 gr of carbohydrate in a day, my glucose rises, I have to take more insulin...and I don't lose weight.

Again. Hence, I'm not losing weight.

I like your truth better.

Deb

Christine said...

well, then the next question to ask yourself would be....which do you want more....the objective truth is that it is much more difficult for you to lose weight. So do you want to be thinner more than you want to eat more than 1400 calories or 50 grams of carbs. I think you said before, that you didn't want your whole life to be about weight loss. Maybe you want to focus on health? My MIl can't walk anymore, she has osteo arthritis. She has to take shots. She has gained some weight. I can tell you, if I were you....I probably wouldn't lose more weight. I would focus on maintaining and walking. Because to me, it wouldn't be worth it. But you aren't me. And I am not you. I wish your truth was different. For many people it is...I wish you the best, y ou know that.

Michelle said...

You speak so much sense. Thank you.
Did you see I got brave with photos? http://gettingtherethistime.blogspot.com/2011/08/hello.html

'Yellow Rose' Jasmine said...

I love the way you revisit things and then bring new perspective. And somehow know just what to say when it is needed. This is why so many people love this blog- we get inspired over and over again and understand that this journey never ends. And that it doesn't have to be a drag.

carla said...

**leaps to her feet and cheers**


MizFit

CK said...

This is a most inspiring post from many. I am 9 months in and have lost 60 lbs doing it your way--still a lot more to go but I am learning patience and reality at the same time--no small feat. Thanks for being there. This post is a keeper.

Charlotte

downsizers said...

I agree. I am learning. I am finding out that I really don't care too much about that number on the scale. It goes down every now and then but without suffering it off. I haven't been true lately to the Slimmer this Summer challenge because writing things down and always planning every bite and drinking water until I am half sick some days and weighing religiously makes a job out of it. I applaud those who find success that way - I hope it lasts for them. I am finding that the way I really want to do this is best not how the crowd seems to go but what I see as my own way. I want to wait until I growl, eat what I want slowly, small bites, and then wait for the next growl. I have made some significant behavior changes that I will continue to develop and just be myself. I enjoy my exercise classes. I enjoy what I eat and the food I want is healthy food. Low carb does work for me - the heat doesn't bother me like it used to and hunger is not this unbearable gnawing panic. It is just an empty, hollow feeling. I can sit outside at night and listen to all the night sounds and have a small glass of wine before bed. The best things in life truly are free. Take care and continue to be yourself.

Sandra said...

Yup, needed this today! As usual Chris, you post what people need the most in the most timely fashion.
Tis why I love your blog!

E. Jane said...

I loved this post--it is so honest and pragmatic. I think that coming to grips with my own truth has been essential in quieting the chatter in my head that has kept me running in circles and off balance. Your post makes so much sense to me.

Daniel said...

i want a post on how you were able to produce such a good music track????? i think you must have done it the same way you lose weight

Daniel said...

that is the putzes son up there above

bbubblyb said...

You know Chris I started exactly the same way, having a calorie amount and walking out my door and down the road and back :) it works! Thanks for reminding me about the truth :)

Jill said...

I have only just recently decided that slow and steady and simple is the only way I can lose weight for the long term. I also have a cap of 1800 cals and as long as I can walk 30-45 minutes every day, then that's all I need to do for now. I can't believe I made it so complicated for so long.

MB said...

Amen!

It took a LONG time but I finally learned this lesson.

Thank you for always be honest and not sugar coating how hard the journey is and that it is a life long commitment, not something that you do until you hit a certain size or a certain weight.

Have a beautiful day!

Joy said...

Chris, I'm so glad you started too! You are an inspiration!

Keep up the great work and stay focused!!

Hanlie said...

This is so well said, Chris! I agree with you.