Back with a serious post.
I was talking to my mom today...She was shopping for a dress for my little brother's wedding in September(*Which I am excessively happy about btw, He is marrying a lovely, smart woman who seems devoted to him.) So I can hear her saying..."oh that's cute, It would look so good on a petite lady. (I grew up with this which probably is the reason for my idea of what constitutes beautiful) She didn't think she could look beautiful, she wanted to 'settle' for not being 'frumpy'. She deosn't want to be in any of the pictures.
My mom is a 14-16.
I remember being a 24 and thinking "if only I could be a 14 again'.
Right now I am a size 10 and I have a 'look' I am going for.
I like myself right now.
All of me.
I don't hate parts of me....I don't feel less because I am not a size 6.
I just have goals that I would like to attain.
And beauty is more an attitude than a reality...Some of the most beautiful women are not classically beautiful....they have a certain something...and that something is CONFIDENCE.
What is it about our culture that we WOMEN have to hate parts of ourselves?
And if we don't we are 'stuck up'.
And don't tell me it isn't programmed in, because it is.
It's almost like coda amongst women.
"I hate my thighs."
Then as a friend you must say...
"I think your thighs are great...You should see my STOMACH!"
"Oh You look fine."
"I hate my hair...feet...boobs...butt..."
on and on ad nauseum...my oldest daughter tells me about the locker room conversations.
Most ridiculous one in her opinion..."I hate my shoulders...they are too wide'...
Kate said "how boring, to be so obsessed about your body. I love my body.'
*I liked hearing that btw*
You know what I want to hear from women!
Man do I have fabulous thighs! (someday soon I want to hear this from my mom)
Me: Your thighs! You should see my abs! I love em'.
My husband once told me he couldn't see past my fat.
I have to admit I have been waiting for something...a chance to get him to see what it feels like to have someone ding you for something you are struggling with...
He has been trying to lose weight..
And he is doing okay..but he is also trying to build muscle.
I don't dig meat heads. I like lean bodies.
I don't want him going moobish on me.
So I say "Don't get all moobish on me.'
I don't like meatheads."
He says "How would you like it if I said something like "I like fat women."
I reminded him of his prior comment.
He just stood there with his mouth going up and down like a landed fish.
Then I said...To be honest...I will love you moobish or not...but now you know how hurtful it sounds to someone when you think they will love you less if you don't live up to their standards.
He looked pole axed.
So I say, "Do you love me for what I look like, or do you love me for me?"
He said "I love you for you."
I say "Ditto."
So...When do we get to like ourselves?
When we reach the perfect size?
When our Butts don't sag?!
When we have been cut up, rearranged, had our boobs lifted and blown up?
When we are botoxed, hairsprayed, painted and squeezed into form fitting clothes?
How about right now...
What do you love about you?
And you know what..it can be your personality...but you need to add on a part of your body that you love..
EVEN IF YOU AREN'T AT GOAL WEIGHT.