Has sucked donkey balls.
we got hit with another tax bill and we have been dealing with fafsa and everything that goes along with college.
I have made it to the gym two times...the rest were walks.
meals were not calculated...were missed or not counted.
my focus has been on my kids.
and my mind.
and I have been thinking and thinking and thinking.
I don't want to end this weight loss thing on may 18th..
because I want to be 135 pounds.
And I have a reason for that.
I know I can be..
I have decided what it is I want to do.
I grew up in an abusive home..
and I have spent the last 18 years instilling a sense of self respect and pride in my daughters.
I have been thinking about this issue of domestic violence.
About a week to ten days ago a man shot his wife and then turned the gun on himself in the neighborhood across the way...no more than a half a mile from my house, it was a house I walked by every other day in the summer.
A house my daughter had sold cookies to...a house I had helped the woman carry her stroller into two years ago....
The police had been called out to that house twice in the last few years on domestic violence calls.
There were warning signals all over the place..
But in the end..that man shot his wife in front of their three kids and then shot himself.
Those kids no longer have a mother, because someway, somehow she thought she could fix him.
the ten year old called the cops and took his little 3 and 4 year old siblings downstairs till the police came....
I haven't been able to shake that.
I have a ten year old.
I even called my mom what she was thinking the first time Duane hit her.
She said she didn't even think about it..she started fighting back..
but she took him back.
Why do women live with what can only be considered assault if it were done by a stranger?
To be mugged daily..
or even if the beating is only once a week.
Would we go home to a mugger?
Why would you stay married to one?
They have never learned this precept.
It is never okay for someone to lay a hand on you.
And quite frankly, from what I have seen..by the time a woman is into an abusive marriage..
nothing anyone says really makes a dent.
They have to want to.
or they won't leave..
So you have to get to these gals before they ever hit 18...
about 9 percent of teen girls are in abusive relationships.
I would like to reach these girls and teach them how to defend themselves.
That means I have to get taught.
That is what I am going to do...I will be starting classes in VeeArnisJuJitsu this summer..
And I will keep at it till I am a black belt.
And then I will teach it.
To young ladies..
with the message that no one ever has the right to lay a hand on you or hurt you.
And the first time they get popped...they defend themselves
And they LEAVE to find a man who will treat them as they deserve to be treated...just as they would treat otherswith dignity and respect.
And to do that I need to be a good role model.
I have a reason to be fit.
I have a reason..beyond just me..
to see that what happened to my mom and so many other women I grew up with, doesn't happen to whoever I can reach.
Tomorrow it's back at the gym.
Have a great night.