I know, I havent been around in a while...thas because about two weeks into my grand plan...i read want ads. They all WANTED experience. So i got a job. As a cashier. How did I do that? I had nothing on my resume but dog sitting. I went down the strip mall a few miles away.. Business to business and spoke personally to the managers....four in, I found someone who would give me a shot. I have had this job for three months now. My exercise and dieting went no where in that time...so i basically stayed the same...160s. But you want to know something? After not havin worked outside the home for 19 years....making a paycheck and feeeling capable was my final puzzle piece to who I am. Not that I am a cashier, but that I am an adult capable of earning and learning..my next goal is to be a bank teller. From there i can move into a full time position. The biggest change is how i allow myself to be talked to and treated. I dont feel guilty spending money, because i help earn it..i am nobody's glorified maid..and i havent been yelled at about the house or anything else in five months. I will discuss that interesting development later on....Last week i stepped up my exercise..today was the first day i have restricted my calories..i havent been to my self defense classes in Two months..but over the last month, I have been redistributing chores to other family members and lightening my own load. I have so much to talk about...butnot alot of time. I will be blogging once a week for accountability and to get back in touch with you all..these last five months..i have learned so much about how i got into a precarious position. How, even though I am a strong willed, strong minded women, I had given away all my power because I thought I was making a safe home for my children..and how I took back my power...it feels good.
I feel capable, empowered and whole.
I will share more soon.
Glad to be back.
2 mile walk