Habits are hard....

breaking old ones and making new ones.
I used to have the habit of sleeping till 9:30...getting up and eating breakfast....dickering around on the computer....doing school....going to the gym...maybe cleaning the house when I got home (maybe not ;oP) and then to bed around 11. 
Now I have decided to change my habits...and I had been putting this off for nearly a month.
Because I knew it would  be hard.
I had so many things I wanted to change...
This started a few months back with the house.
I took my oldest daughter to a birthday party and was talking to another woman there whose daughter will be graduating.
I asked her what she would do once her daughter moved out..
She said, "Probably get my house Clean'.
And I thought "No, you won't."
Not because there was something inherently wrong with the person I am talking to, but because if the house had been a priority, it would have gotten clean already. 
Just like my weight issue...
I said for years....I will lose weight 'when'.
If there is anything you want to change, you have to make it a priority.
And This woman didn't make a clean house her priority.
This is not a judgement, but it is also a reality.
For instance...I will never have beautiful, long nails.
Why?
Well, because I turn the hot water on for dishes...and there sit the rubber gloves.
If I really cared about long, pretty nails.
I would wear them.
I would paint them more than once a week or once every other week.
I wouldn't dig in the dirt without work gloves...
I wouldn't use my (short) nails as mini scrapers for stickers, prying open packages...nor would I chew on them when nervous.
It isn't a priority...no matter how I envy other people's nails.
I once had a neighbor lady watch me plant petunias in my flower box.
Now this lady had trained her dog to go poop behind a specific tree in her yard.
She had birthday parties for her dog.
She made her dog apologize to people....
But when she saw me planting real flowers in my flower box she said
"I just have better ways to spend my time than tending flowers out front."
In much the same way I open the back door and let my dog out to freely roam the yard till he finds the perfect spot to take a dump...and the only birthday present he gets is a bone.
So what I am trying to say is this...Your life, for good or ill...is a reflection not of your wishes...or your fondest dreams...
But of your true priorities.
There is a reason you are spending time on things.
You may feel you spend the majority of your time on ridiculous items..
But if you look closely,  you will see that those items are attached to some dearly held beliefs...
and if you want to break that habit, you are going to have to challenge those beliefs.
I used to spend a lot of time reading romance novels.
Why?
It was my "well deserved break."
That and eating...those were my rewards.
And at one point and time, the thought of giving those items up...
Well, it made me feel suffocated.
I had to challenge my assumptions
and push through those first hurdles.
It is hard creating a habit that doesn't produce instant gratification.
My days now look like
get up and get coffee...at 7 am.
no food till after my 'spiritual walk and spiritual food'...
This is a two mile walk with a sermon...I do take the coffee with me...or I would not be functional at this point.
Then it's home and breakfast.
I have decided that my breakfast and lunch need to be minimal and healthy.
So egg whites only with lowfat cheese and ham or yogurt...with fruit.
Lunch will be some sort of soup or salad...or maybe half a sandwhich.
In this time frame, from 10-3 pm. I am doing house work and yard work.
Then it's either off to the gym for 40 minutes on the elliptical and upper body weights.
or another 2 mile walk.
then it's dinner.     
After dinner on mondays wednesdays and fridays I blog
Tuesdays, thursdays and Saturdays I draw.
Sundays I rest...no walking, I will comment but not blog....(I am hoping to get most of my commenting done on this day...I don't get much computer time anymore and I really miss reading you guys.)
I will  be doing food prep....veggie cutting and soup making on Sundays and spending time relaxing with my family along with church.
At nights after 9 I have an hour or two of free time.
I spend it watching sliders with my kids on netflicks some nights...on other nights I look at the news or peruse curriculum etc. for homeschool.
Then it's prayer time, then bed.
It isn't easy and I have been rebelling in my spirit a bit, but doing things that are good for us but  hard builds character...so I am doing them.
My house is cleaner and I have lost some muscle definition from not working out so much...But I am bringing life into balance.
spiritual
physical
mental.
*I have been reading a book called abraham lincoln's world...very interesting.
I am learning the habits of discipline and balance.
Oh, and that whole control the tongue thing..
lol.
It is HARD ya'll.
so quick confession.
I had one big let my  mouth run mess up where I made a joke about someone losing a limb..forgetting that the person's loved one had LOST A LIMB...(Now this is the PRIME reason I have been trying to watch my mouth...If they sold Dr. Scholl for the mouth, I'd buyHAVE to buy one, my foot is in there so much)
Then I gossiped two days ago to a friend, which I shouldn't have done...I let anger get the best of me.
I said right after I did it that I'd  have to repent of the conversation. And I did.  I feel badly cause when  you gossip you are pouring it into someone else's ear as well. Inflicting it, as it were. So double duty bad ju ju.
Then, Today my husband got short with me and I got mad, so instead of wishing him good bye as he went to work, I said 'see ya' in a flip manner.
When you start working on your mouth, It really starts showing up your attitude, and the places that need fixing.
I have a lot of work to do.
Have a great week guys. 
Oh, and Robin I have you on my prayer list....big hugs to you.
( Her father passed, so if you all could drop by to express your condolences)
and I wanted to say a quick thank you to Myra for her homerun award...I have about 5 minutes of computer time left..but I will be posting this in my sidebar. Knowing my blog post had helped someone means a lot to me....
oh and mike said something in the comments last time that really struck me.
We love who we serve. What a wonderful concept.
Oh, And LISA is back and 80 pounds lighter, so drop on in to say howdy to lisa and congratulate her on winning! Great job lisa!
Thank you for all the comments you guys, I do read them and appreciate them.
oh, and I forgot my sister in Christ annalisa last time!
Creating new habits..yup.
Have a great night guys..
hugs,
Chris