Thank you all for all of your well wishes. I love reading your comments.
It wasn't all tea and gravy for the last 18 years...but I think it made us stronger...any marriage longer than 6 months has it's ups and downs. lol.
So, I decided today to dig out under my bushes and plant ground cover instead of rock.
This looked and sounded (in my mind) deceptively simple after the week long hoe fest along the other side of my driveway to plant a flowerbed. (I won't get into the details...but lets just say I hope the neighbors austree lives)....anywhoozle.
I dig out the rocks with my hands because no garden tool or other implement seemed to do the job as well as my fingers....After about two hours of raking out rock with my fingers....I realized that simply moving that mess of rock and dirt and leaves and plastic bits to fill in the holes on the side of the house would not improve my home's appearance...so I had to 'clean' the rock.
We have a saying in this house...in this life you either have time or money.
We have time.
So....I started picking rocks out of the dirt and putting them in buckets (after an abortive attempt at hosing them off which produced nothing but muddy rocks.)
This is a time consuming and boring job.
So I am sitting there with movie lines running through my head..namely black adder.
I don't know if there are any black adder fans...but I am thinking flashart and the line
"Well this isn't a good use of my time and resources but I am going to do it anyway!" lol.
When a neighbors truck pulls up and I hear this little snippet of a 'conversation' on talk radio.
A lady saying that Jimmy johnson could 'be himself'.
Or could be more himself.
What does that mean?
HOw does one become MORE oneself.
I have met people who, should that little snippet of 'wisdom' come burbling forth from a relative's lips, that person should do their level best to ignore the advice.
Our society and it's focus on self realization tends to lead in circles.
It's kind of like an ever smaller spiral where 'me' supercedes everything and everyone else.
Yes, we need to evaluate ourselves honestly.
We need to know what makes us happy...
But we live in communities and families and value systems..
all of which inform who we percieve ourselves to be...
And my only thought as I plunk, plunk, plunked those rocks into the bucket was this.
We are who we choose to be.
What if you are a drug addict who was abused and kicked out of your house at the age of 15, went to jail, ended up homeless and took up robbing liquor stores.
Would you advise that person to be 'more themselves'.
I was watching a documentary last night about the difference between the rich and the poor..
and not to be too simplistic...
but the main difference was the difference in what each person thought was POSSIBLE.
Do you think you can do and be what you want to be?
invariably, the poor person said no.
The rich person said yes.
Even when they started out poor.
The poor people spent the majority of their time blaming their circumstances, their situation, and the world around them....not once did they look in a mirror.
I started out poor.
It took me a long time to shake that mentality.
The 'life is luck' mentality.
Sometimes life is luck...
but more often, luck is preparation meeting opportunity.
So...If you want to be more yourself...
Be who God created you to be.
People tend to think small.
Pick an ideal.
Be the you you would be if there were no 'limits'.
Then you will be MORE yourself.