5.02.2011

swimming in deep waters.

I hate it when My psyche is trying to tell me something and I can't quite grasp it.
hate it.
I know something is there, pulling at the edges of my mind.
But It won't come out.
so I dream.
This whole last week has been dreams of children dying.
Not of cancer..
from accidents.
and it started before I saw these kids on curbs playing near traffic.
It started with a dream about my daughter falling through a railingwhile reaching for a tennis shoe and dying. ( I woke up the next day and threw the shoes away)
Then the next night I dreamed I was living with a young african american couple and their five kids. Just to be clear.
I don't know any young african american couples with five kids.
It was a very clear dream.
In my dream I was moving in with my abusive step father and his wife...??????(I have no idea why, something about them needing me to move in with them...and why I should care I don't know)
and the older kids had gone out...and the youngest Tania (pronounced Tah nee ya...(yes, she had a name) wanted to go...
I had to go and couldn't watch her. Her mother was there....and so was her father.
so after I left....she took off after her brothers and sisters on a bike and got hit by a car.
and the father said "I am a college professor, I should have been more responsible...I should have known where she was" and I woke up.
dream 3....I dreamed I was someone else...(this actually happens with undue frequency)
and in my dream I am pregnant...and I have the baby.
But the baby has issues. And is brought home with some sort of breathing apperatus.
Because the baby I had had before had similar issues and actually died of sids (remember I am someone else here)....and there is a horrible storm...and the tree crashes through the roof...and we can hear the beeeeeeep of the monitor sounding but we can't get to the baby and the baby dies.

Three for three.
I don't think I want to go to sleep tonight.
well, dream interpreters.....wade on in.
Chris out.

16 comments:

Deb Willbefree said...

I'll pray on it. The only consistent theme seems to be of unsupervised/unattended children dying.

Nothing else is the same--the means, circumstances, causes, people--all difrerent. Only the absence of needed attention remains.

Even with the baby in the storm, although the storm, not the parents, was at fault, still the baby died due to a lack of being attended to.

Unsettling. The meaning will come soon. God will show you what He's trying to let you know.

Deb

Anne H said...

Dreams are so crazy sometimes.
I don't know what they mean.
I used to have the same dream every night.
For decades. Then it stopped!
Now I dream about bloggers.
We are always going some where.
Hope your nightmares end soon!

F. McButter Pants said...

I have crazy, High Def, dreams. I can read a book and dream about it that night. I have recurring dreams too. I hope that you can find the cause and maybe the mind will settle down.

downsizers said...

I remember when my son was young he was upset one night when it was time to go to bed and he told me that he had been dreaming things that had come true. I think he was afraid I would die or he would dream something like the house burning down and it would come true. It passed. It's weird - my post today is about miracles, the twin thing where one can sense what is going on with the other, etc. God works in mysterious ways and He spoke to many in scripture through dreams (Joseph, Daniel). This could be a gift. Maybe the message is to work with families - you are the only one who can determine this. You will have to get still and wait for God's answer.

Helen said...

I've been in a bit of dream state as well really. Generally that tells me that I'm unsettled about "something" but not always necessarily what is in my dreams. Like you, I don't care for it when I am unable to figure out what the something is. Hope you can figure it out or move on and dream about more pleasant things.

Reshaping Paula said...

I'm praying now that your future nights and periods of shut be filled with His peace. I often feel like the enemies try to invade our sleep.

bbubblyb said...

I have nightmares sometimes too they are always related to me feeling unsettled in real life like Helen mentioned. Usually mine are about me being hurt or the threat of death. Usually once the stuff in real life is settled the nightmares go away. Hope you're do soon.

TJ said...

Dreams are bizarre!

Last week I woke up and Sean told me in the middle of the night I said, " I don't wanna go to Alabama" Then the next night I had a horrible dream about tornados ripping apart our new home here in California. Then I walked down stairs turned on the TV and saw the deadly tornados that had taken place in ALABAMA...so weird.

hopefulandfree said...

After my weight loss, and a bunch of other life challenges, I found I needed a way to give voice or expression to these otherwise silent parts of myself...to create peace of mind. I don't try to figure stuff out with rational mind when it's partly submerged...instead I let art take over (for me weird poetry-like stuff) and I have no way to explain but it restores me to serenity. Art stops my futile attempts and need to always feel in control...reminds me it's okay to trust and let go. Sigh. Hard to communicate some things...

E. Jane said...

There has been lots of terrible news in recent weeks (storms, deaths, etc.) so it's no wonder people feel a bit unsettled and unsafe and worried about their children.

I know that you are a very watchful mother, and you always make sure your kids are safe, as much as you possibly can. When I read about the children in your dreams, I wondered if you have a child who is getting to be college age and on the cusp of leaving home. I remember when mine left for college and the effect it had on my peace of mind (at least for a while). I worried because the responsibility for keeping them in safe, healthy environments would no longer be mine on a day-to-day basis--it would be theirs. Just a thought--you may not be at that state at all.

E. Jane said...

Sorry--I meant to say "at that stage."

Christine said...

lol, Yes I do...my daughter is a junior and has been going on college field trips for the last month or so..hmmmmmm

Hanlie said...

Mmm,indeed! I hope you get a better night's sleep soon!

Putz said...

so wqhy did you throw your tennis shoes away, afterall it is just a dream<><>

Rettakat said...

I hope you've been able to either make some sense from those disconcerting dreams, or been able to put them to rest.
I can see how they would be disturbing!

Nancy said...

Your child leaving for college would seem to be on your mind, and perhaps worrying about the responsibility of keeping your child safe could be what was coming through from your subconscious. I applaud you for using your dreams to help yourself in your waking life. God has blessed us with dreams and it is special when we can use the information to grow.
Sending Blessings,
Nancy