I hate it when My psyche is trying to tell me something and I can't quite grasp it.
I know something is there, pulling at the edges of my mind.
But It won't come out.
so I dream.
This whole last week has been dreams of children dying.
Not of cancer..
and it started before I saw these kids on curbs playing near traffic.
It started with a dream about my daughter falling through a railingwhile reaching for a tennis shoe and dying. ( I woke up the next day and threw the shoes away)
Then the next night I dreamed I was living with a young african american couple and their five kids. Just to be clear.
I don't know any young african american couples with five kids.
It was a very clear dream.
In my dream I was moving in with my abusive step father and his wife...??????(I have no idea why, something about them needing me to move in with them...and why I should care I don't know)
and the older kids had gone out...and the youngest Tania (pronounced Tah nee ya...(yes, she had a name) wanted to go...
I had to go and couldn't watch her. Her mother was there....and so was her father.
so after I left....she took off after her brothers and sisters on a bike and got hit by a car.
and the father said "I am a college professor, I should have been more responsible...I should have known where she was" and I woke up.
dream 3....I dreamed I was someone else...(this actually happens with undue frequency)
and in my dream I am pregnant...and I have the baby.
But the baby has issues. And is brought home with some sort of breathing apperatus.
Because the baby I had had before had similar issues and actually died of sids (remember I am someone else here)....and there is a horrible storm...and the tree crashes through the roof...and we can hear the beeeeeeep of the monitor sounding but we can't get to the baby and the baby dies.
Three for three.
I don't think I want to go to sleep tonight.
well, dream interpreters.....wade on in.