5.01.2011

Captain obvious- The craptastic parenting edtition

Well,
Captain obvious here...
Chris is busy cleaning up vomit...her youngest has succumbed to a bad case of stomach flu and has sent me in to pinch hit with something that has been on our collective minds lately.
namely,
people who should be neutered before breeding.
Captain obvious was tooling down the road yesterday, on my way to a random strip mall for some well deserved R&R, when what should I see but a little girl no older than 2 (not even) playing near (on the curb!) of the four lane major artery in the city....with her slack jawed, mouth breather mother a good 200 feet back on the sidewalk.
Captain obvious nearly had a car accident.
Captain obvious's loved ones had to stop captain from turning around to scream at the mouth breather.
Captain obvious wonders if people think their children have some sort of a magical force field that creates the kind of buffer that allows children to fall into a road way, get run over by a car, but end up being miraculously unharmed by the 2000 pound death machine hurtling toward your baby's head.

Where is this magical force field, and is it available for purchase?
I'd like one.
Captain obvious could have let this pass had it not been for the fact that later the same day, I stopped in at Walmart....also known as a magnet for the interesting.....and saw something very similar.
Two very young children playing on a curb where traffic was entering and exiting. The children ranged in age from 2 to 4 years of age...No parent to be seen.
I stood in stupefication.
Along with another lady who was standing there stupified...
She looked at me and I at her.
She said "I was thinking the same thing."
Then the mother bothers to get her lazy *ss out of the car.
Young, but that really has nothing to do with it.
It was a good 2 minutes of playing near the traffic for those kids.
I will leave the suppositions up to you.
Gives a whole new meaning to the word idiot.
You will see these people on the news later, crying and saying...
Well, I thought I would let her out to play while I washed my car. (always a favorite)
or.
I thought the screen would hold on the second floor.
or.
I just ran in for a minute.
and left the car running
the doors unlocked
and my children in the car.

I see people walking across parking lots talking on their cell phones, puffing on their ciggies while their toddler runs along 10 feet behind.
These people are obviously hoping other people care more about their children then they do.
If you don't want them, don't have them.
If taking care of them is too difficult...
If it cuts into your tv time.
Your bar time
Your hair and nail budget.
Don't have them.
If you somehow think you need a winter coat but your kid can go in short sleeves and no shoes.
Don't have a kid.
If your sixth boyfriend doesn't like kids so you dump them off on your mother to have more 'me' time...don't have kids.
It's called a condom and birth control.
And if by some chance you end up with a child...
That means that YOUR childhood is at an end...and attempting to relive it vicariously through your child is evil.
Stop.
grow up.
and raise them.
obviously done,
Captain out.

7 comments:

Putz said...

the assumption is that all those people out there in traffic in their cars are going to be watching very carefully to see those two are not NOT injured in anyway and the mother can be relaxed and senrine like in a deep verdant green comfortable valley

Jodie said...

That drives me nuts. I always roll down the window and tell the kids to get on the sidewalk or away from the street! Makes me so nervous! I had a lady in the restroom while at the movies (RIO) with her kid (or grandkid) yelling at her for something and I was standing there awkwardly waiting for my kids to finish washing their hands. The woman said to the kid "See, that lady is looking at you because you are such a brat". I wanted to say, actually no, I was looking at you because you are being such a b&tch" But I didn't.

Deb Willbefree said...

I couldn't have said it better. I am appalled by how parents aren't parenting. I don't know what happened.

Cell phone use by parents has been a pet peeve of mine for years. We have developed a whole new category of child neglect. The parent is physically prersent and totally absent for all other intents and purpposes. I see it in restaurants, malls, parks...everywhere.

A little child sitting, staring at tthe mom as she gabs on the cell phone. The child is completely alone and neglected just 3 feet away from the paretn.

I'm considering have Congress add a rider to the law that forbids using cell phones while driving that says you cannot use a cell phone when alone with your child. aaarrrgh.

Deb

Alexia @ Dimple Snatcher said...

Absolutely concur: Irresponsible people shouldn't have children. DONE.

Hanlie said...

I see it all the time... Even in the mall, you'd have toddlers running around while the parents are ordering their lattes. Don't these people read the papers - someone can grab your child and be gone within seconds!

It's just as well I didn't have kids. I would have been the worst kind of helicopter mother!

hopefulandfree said...

Wow. A lot of feelings to set free, girl! I hope you are still doing your art (sketches, etc) because you're talented and have much to share.

Hope your day is less annoying tommorrow! :)

Ice Queen said...

All I can do is madly applaud.