Well, today was supposed to be my higher calorie day. Only, it didn't turn out that way. I ate a big breakfast (3 eggs and 1 and 1/2 peices of toast). Then I wasn't hungry till about dinner. I had a small bag of chips (280 calories- I know, I know horrendous nutritionally, it is my day off though) For dinner I wanted to go to 3 margeritas and have a spinach enchilada with coleslaw. My family wanted the golden corral. So we went. I had a salad, sesame chicken and two rolls. I didn't finish the salad and I only ate one and a half rolls. I had a root beer, but only drank 1/4 before pawning it off on my husband. I tried to eat a coconut cream tart but got one bite down before i quit trying. None of it tasted as good as I thought it would. I maybe managed to get down 800 calories. All told today I have eaten 1460 calories.
When I left I felt ucky because of the grease in the sesame chicken. I went home and it was oh...6:56, I realized that I still had time to go to the gym. So I am running around as fast as I can and I realized that the happy, excited feeling was the same feeling I USED to get before going to an all you can eat buffet.
I realized I would rather go to the gym than eat.
I was so happy I almost cried. On the way to the gym I tried thinking of a food, any food that I wanted more than I wanted to lose weight...and I couldn't think of a single one. Not cheese cake, not fried chicken, not cheese curds....not even popcorn...my all time favorite. Nothing beats the feeling I get when I know I am winning. When I work out for an hour and can do thirty pushups.
I am no longer sittiing on the couch feeling nothing, numbing all my pain with food. I am out there doing what I have been dreaming of doing for years. I am creating my future. I am controlling my body. It doesn't control me.
I am a girl scout troop leader. I NEVER would have volunteered for something like this before.
Man, I had a good day.
How was yours? A winner, I hope.