Sorry about that guys..weird couple of days and I have been very busy..
And I am not immune to getting trapped in my own head.
The question will be out tonight.
I have pretty busy...
I have also been doing a lot of thinking..
The little revelation I had a while back has opened alot of avenues in the mind.
Which is both a good and bad thing.
I have been having weird little mood swings.
Almost like a door to a bunch of feelings I did not have access to has been opened.
This is a for instance..
I used to repress most of my anger.
When driving I would never use the horn..
I think using your horn is akin to screaming.
I don't think it's really worth it at a red to green light for instance..
or even if someone cuts you off..too late then.
They've already cut you off.
Well the other day I am driving my husband to work, we are in traffic and this guy...well he flat out stops on fountain blvd in the middle of rush hour. I have to slam on my breaks...then I realize he is trying to get over to turn left...I was nearly rear ended..the kids in the back of the car, the accident a week ago, and the sheer stupidity on this guy's part..well, It pushed me over some invisible edge...I honked three times.
The looks on the faces of Tim and the girls...
they all just stared at me..while I yelled out the window...get over Dumbass!
Kate goes "You NEVER honk!"It's a family joke.
When tim wants me to hurry he will honk in the driveway because he knows I can't stand it.
But any slights or percieved injustices...I would confront them..but not really feel the anger.
Almost as if I didn't deserve to be angry.
My husband didn't get me a card yesterday or anthing at all...
And it was the first time I was pissed all day.
I was pissed.
And I let him know.
That is a first.
Not letting it go.
I don't know if it was really the card..it was more the idea that I wasn't deemed worth the effort.
I realize that is reading a lot into it.
I also realize that for years I didn't make a big deal because maybe, (secretly) I didn't feel I was worth the effort.
Now, I think I am.
As is he...I washed his car for him.
So..there you go.
I am not Angry today.
We talked last night and settled it.
And I told him I expect a card on my birthday.
I will get h im a card on his birthday.
I think it is neccessary as your marriage goes along to keep each other front and center.
With kids it can start to slip.
You can take each other for granted, and when the kids leave,
your relationship will be old and dusty.
It's not something I want to happen.
Hope all is well with you guys.
like I said that third question will be out tonight.