haven't checked my email in box today...I hope you guys got the question...
The answer to my question for me was that I had somehow tagged myself with the label of 'unloveable'...
That came from a number of circumstances..
How my mom came to be pregnant with me..
My biological father not wanting to be a part of my life...
My stepfather's abuse...
I thought that since I was in essence 'unloveable' or "unwanted"..
that I should make myself useful.
That meant putting me last and everyone around me first.
I did it so much I lost who I was and became a product of what I meant to others.
I was no longer Chris.
I was mom...a wife...a sister...
If my whole circle of loved ones disappeared...who would I be?
At that point..I would have been no one.
I had no idea of my likes and dislikes..
or what I wanted to be..
or who I was at all.
I had no direction.
Now, figuring out that I am loveable....
that took time.
It started by looking at the people I LOVE.
I love my husband and my children and my relatives...
But my kids loved me in an unconditional way.
They knew me inside and out and loved me.
For who I am..
not what I look like, or how much I weigh or the money I make..
for simply who I am...
And if you don't have a person on earth who loves you that way...
then there is a God who loves you that way.
Who planned you from the FOUNDATIONS of the earth.
The idea that not only was I not a mistake..
but I was planned for since the foundations of time began.
Pretty much shot that whole unwanted thing in the @ss.
If nothing else, God has a plan for me..Chris.
My spirit, my essence.
A toxic label wounds the spirit...the longer it's left attached....the more damage it does.
If you have affixed it...rip it off..
if someone else has affixed it...hand it back.
There are other labels you can hang on yourself..