I was on another blog today, and that blog posted a modern dance composition denoting the dance with addiction. To some it may look beautiful if frightening, to me it looked awful and it made me angry. I am by nature a fight person. Some people flee, I don't seem to have enough sense. This is the main reason I don't play board games or compete against others, once I want to win... it's on. When I saw that dance, all I wanted to do was pound that dude (addiction personified) into the dirt. Once I realized that my fat was controlling my future and was hindering my happiness, I wanted to beat it. When I take my walks, I am winning. When I eat right, I am winning and my fat is losing. There is no win-win in this scenario. I win, "it" loses. Here's a for instance: When I was in the army, there was this girl named Dora. She was little, and snarky. She would make comments about my weight. So, if she did fifty sit ups, I would do fifty one. If she was in my run group, I would run faster. She was about thirty pounds lighter than me. She couldn't figure out "WHY THAT FAT GIRL KEPT BEATING HER" (her words...lol). Why? because I had made up my mind that there was no way in h*ll that girl was EVER going to beat me. I could be 32 out of 33 and be fine, as long as I came in in front of her. I could be dying, my arms ripped off by a combine and I would still beat her. On our last run of basic, Dora was faltering. I knew, in my heart of hearts, that in some strange way this little nit had helped me get through basic training. So I dropped back on my run far enough to taunt..."come on dora, you aren't going to let the fat girl beat you..are you?" That did it, it popped her butt into gear...but I still beat her. It is a mindset. When I see people say, I can't stop or I can't beat it....they are right. If you say can't, you can't. If you say you can, you can. You will or you won't. It is a decision. What do you want more. Do you want to win or lose. There is no middle ground. On the back of my exercise t-shirt I have yoda's words of wisdom: Do or Do Not-There is no Try.
Hope everyone has a great (and winning) day.