oy...enough with the cake.

Thank God the birthdays and holidays are over. I am not much for cake, but even a "non sweets" "real food" type eater could get a little wiggy after the last three to four weeks. Three birthday parties and one fourth of July bash and apparently, all the cake you can eat, everywhere. People, in an attempt to be 'hospitable' (dang people, can't they see I am eating soy nuggets) always ask me "would you like *insert whichever food would eat my entire daily caloric intake in one fell swoop here*.) So, I have these ridiculous conversations in which I pretend that such food has never crossed my lips, and I am, in fact, Jillian Michaels in a fat suit. Here is the first offering. "Would you like a cupcake?" Me: "No, thank you I am not hungry.(*insert inner thoughts here: I am starving, only had an apple and a soy bar, but no, dieting diva needs no cupcakes) Next, Would you like a piece of pizza, mini sausages, doritos, chips, pizza (oh already said pizza *blush*) Me:"pizza, pizza....no thank you." (wonders why nobody is looking at me funny after repeating the word pizza for no apparent reason.) Would you like soda? Me: "No, I don't drink soda, only water from the town tap please".

Then there is my own, self imposed junk food laden birthday jamboree.
Our attendant at skate city asks: "Would like pizza or cake?" (not one or the other mind you, both...but in which order)
Me: "No, I have a Fit one bar. I know I am not supposed to bring food into skate city, but I am diabetic." (Inner thought: 'You are going to hell, you are NOT diabetic'.)
Other half of my mind says: ("Yes, but if you don't eat this NOW, you are going to break like the hoover dam and eat everything in sight....just one more hour".)
Dieting diva wins and lets the diabetic deception just lie there.
The hostess, afraid of getting sued,let's me eat my snack bar in lieu of cake- and pizza- and soda.

My friend has a doll of a baby at my daughter's skate party, so I pick the cute baby up (baby fix, kind of like a cheat day)...Now, I am only halfway through my fit bar. Apparently this baby is a picky eater and her Godmother (my friend), hasn't been able to get this baby to eat ANYTHING for two days.
I am thinking, Hold one moment while I eat my oat, strawberry and almond bar...what's that, that cute little baby loves these, oh, she wants half...oh look she drooled all over the bottom...how.cute.
Guess she is REALLY hungry! What? Where did I get that Fit one bar? At the commissary. Oh, your going to get some more for her later...yeah, she reallly seems to like it..look she ate the last half.

What's that, noooo....I wouldn't like a slice of pizza...don't eat it...I only consume edamame and greek yogurt with a bit of honey. Oh, That's okay, That first half filled me up.
Excuse me... ma'am, could I have some more tap water please...thanks.

At least the baby was really cute, we danced a bit after we ate.

My daughter had a great party. She was so happy to share it with her bff (best freind forever) mariah. I think that is a great memory she will have forever. I came home, did some dishes and then took my two mile walk and with all the calories I had left over, I had a taco salad which I love. So, my day ended on a high note, food and exercise wise.
Looking forward to the next month of relatively low amounts of temptation.
Have a good night.


Hanlie said...

I am so going to use that diabetic excuse next time I go anywhere you're not allowed to take your own food!

Well done on resisting! You're stronger than I am!

Patty said...

Brillant and inpressive Chris!
Oh, and funny. :-)

Amber said...

The commentary is too funy!
You have much better self control than I do.
Mariah had a blast too!!
I will send pictures soon.
Thank You for setting the whole thing up!!
And the baby was oh sooo cute!!!