Happy fourth of July everyone. We had a good one here. We didn't go to a major fireworks show, but our neighborhood put on one heck of a display. It was really nice to see all the neighbors and the kids enjoying the evening. I was having a great day today, that is until someone whom I shall not name decided that I could be their emotional dumping ground once again. You see, when ever this someone gets upset about just about anything, they try to either lay a guilt trip or make me feel like crap. They drop a verbal bomb and then storm out so that of course you aren't allowed to reply. This is standard behavior on this person's part. In days of old, I would have chased this person down and attempted to explain the 'misunderstanding'. I have come to realize there is no misunderstanding. This is manipulation of the highest order. Then this person comes in a few hours later and acts like nothing ever happened. This person is also very selective about when they get upset. You see, they make sure they get upset when there is no time to talk. And, when they upset you, you are just being sensitive and imagining things.
In the old days, I used to think that it was me. I must be so stupid that I don't know when I am being completely awful. But no, it isn't. I am sure there are times when I am at fault. But this wasn't one of those times. There were others present and they saw it the same way. This would have made me very anxious in the past, as I was afraid of either being abandoned or left. Now, it just makes me angry. Right now I am attempting to let the anger go. The happier and more balanced I become, the more angry, bitter and insecure this other person acts. I may not have any control over how another person behaves or speaks, but I do have control over how I react. I will not comfort myself with food. I will not be "relieved" when this other person stops being upset with me. I am fine right now. I had a very good day, and that is what I will focus on right now. I love my children and they had a great time. I had a great time. I Hope you all have and did have a great time. Freedom is the space between the action and your reaction. In that space, you choose...and that is freedom. My calories today were 1660 and I walked 2 miles..for me.