What will kill you.

Denial will kill you.
That is why I was so mean with that lady and her letter.
I spent years thinking I was better than a person in my life because I didn't drink.
I was burying myself with food.
She is too.
But she won't admit it.
I hate seeing it.
I am working on getting a black belt...
It will take me years.
When I do, I will be training women to defend themselves.
I will be dealing with women who have been in abusive relationships..
many of whom will probably STILL be in abusive relationships.
Every day we meet people in the grips of a crisis.
In the midst of a true problem.
We can have compassion...but when someone is so stuck in denial...
The truth is the only thing that works.
many of the women I will one day work with will no doubt be in denial about the danger they are in.
But I will make a point in my classes...all my classes...to state statistics.
The reality is...obese people (of whom I used to be one) are more prone to heart attacks, diabetes and other  diseases...
The reality is...a woman in an abusive relationship is in grave danger...three women are murdered everyday in this country by their significant other.
What sent me down the road of weight loss was knowing that I deserved  better and knowing that what I was doing was damaging not only me, but my family.
What sent me down the next road...the road of wanting to teach self defense..was the death of a woman in the adjoining neighborhood..
who had been married for a few years, her husband had ptsd and the police had been called to her house on a few occasions for domestic assault.
So when he took out the gun and said 'leave and I'll shoot'...
She didn't take it seriously.
she turned with her baby in her arms...
and went to leave.
And he shot her in the head.
in front of their children.
I have seen bloggers and weight loss dieters come and go...
I have people come here to this blog, from a memorial blog roll...from a very sweet lady who died too soon and left her young children  because she had a heart attack.
IT is serious.
For some it's 10 pounds..
For many of us, it's life and death.
skimpy outfits and muscles will not kill you.
hardened  arteries and diabetes will.
I'm sorry If I offended...but I decided to not stand idly by and let that kind of reasoning just lie there..unanswered.
I have to choose what to care about, what to direct my attention to...and these are the two subjects I have chosen.  Most of my readers know me and know my heart...They know where I am coming from...
I am not much of a sugar coater.
But I do care.
I want to make my life all it can be...
I believe that  everyone is capable of doing the same.
I truly believe this.
But I believe the first step is being honest.
I hope you all understand that when I write something, I write it out of  a place of actually caring...of wanting to point out a dangerous mindset...which is why I didn't write her name.
I recognized in that letter...some of the things that kept me fat for years.
Maybe some of you recognized it as well...I don't know.
But if we can't be  honest..we'll never get to where we want to go.


Sean Anderson said...

Great post. I think some confuse sugar coating with compassion. Tippy toeing around the truth is a dangerous dance. I applaud you.

Christine said...

Thanks sean.

My name WAS Female, I shit you not! said...

I've been in a bad,bad marriage and sadly I didn't leave until I didn't care whether I lived or died. Thankfully, I lived and it's been another 55 years of living and learning from past mistakes. LIFE is good! I shit you not! As long as we have a breath of air in us, we can make choices. (((hugs)))Pat

'Yellow Rose' Jasmine said...

Your compassion is one of the things that makes you so readable. It comes through loud and clear for me.
Take it from someone who spent years, no- decades enabling abusive people and just trying to smooth things over. It's a trap of the worst kind and being honest and up front is way more helpful and thoughtful than any amount of sugar coating will ever be.
You know who you are and you have shared a wonderful journey with so many. You have done way more good than you can possibly ever know.