Tomorrow is my first official day of one pound, one hundred times. Today I weighed in at 230 lbs. My goal weight is 132.4. I started at 262.4. By the time I am done I will have lost 130 lbs. I have lost the first thirty two pounds, so really 97.6 lbs left to go...why my weight loss ticker is reading one hundred, I have no clue. Must be new math. I have eaten 1579 calories today so far. I say so far cause I still have calories I COULD consume but haven't and won't if I don't feel the need. I broke one of my main rules today and am so glad I did....I was jonesing for some chocolate. I didn't want to spend my calories on a candy bar....what to do, what to do. So I remembered that at Starbucks they have these strawberry-banana vivanno smoothies with protein whey powder and I thought "Hey, that would do the trick."...I looked on line for the nutrition info when I saw that they also do banana-chocolate vivanno smoothies for 250 calories, and it had the protein powder, so I would stay full when I was finished. I got it. It was not the chocolate punch I expected, but it was enough. It was very banana-ey and sweet enough. It was also surprisingly filling. It did the trick.
So you might be wondering why I call it one pound, one hundred times. I do that for a few reasons. The first is so I don't get ahead of myself. I find myself running forward in my brain to three and four months from now...I tell myself, I should be such and such a weight, or I will be under two hundred by this time. This is a recipe for failure. I know this from past experience. I begin to question my progress and get frustrated if it doesn't happen fast enough. That is why you will not see big weigh in days for me. I weigh daily. I don't get excited (or I try not to). Every pound I lose, I have only one thought...."This is where I should have been, so no celebrating". I don't think I will even celebrate when I get to goal weight. I think the things I will celebrate won't have a thing to do with numbers. It will be when I run five miles for the first time. It will be when I put a bikini on. It will be when somebody I haven't seen for a while doesn't recognize me. I know that every pound is a victory for me, but it's a Pyrrhic victory. A victory at too high a cost. A victory I don't want to repeat. It reminds meof an alcoholic who gets a one year coin. He looks on it as a victory. but also a reminder. The coin reminds him to not let it happen again. My goal, it's one pound....one hundred times. So far I have lost 2.4 of those pounds. Thirty two since starting. This may get confusing. For me, every day I start over. Every day I get to choose. I don't rest on yesterday or take tomorrow for granted. That way I never get cocky or think I have a handle on it. Every day I am in the fight, and it's a fight for my life. I hope you all had a very good day. Tomorrow is yours, choose well.