okay, so today I got up at nine, did dishes, breakfast, laundry....went to the pioneer museum, walked around for two hours, got home and ate a late lunch and then walked 2.8 miles. There was a time when the thought of this kind of day would have had me making excuses and dodging like a mo-fo. I still made dinner and cleaned up and right now it is 10:30 pm and I am tired. I am only three months into this thing and I am doing more with my kids. When I have down days, or days when I just feel like it isn't worth it, or it isn't making a big enough difference...I can look at today. In another four months maybe I could do all that and then jog five miles.....who knows. I am trying so hard to take this one day at a time...one day I feel invincible. I am on my way, this thing is beat it just isn't gone yet. The next day I am standing in a 7-11 clutching barbecue chips and struggling not to eat everything in sight. It's nuts. Today was an easy day. I just ate what I should with hardly a thought, I walked like i should with hardly a thought. It was just like the days I used to have have when I was eating badly and not exercising. Just reversed. I think I like days like this more even than my pumped up days. Days like this show me that this can be as unconscious a choice after a while as what I used to do. I would hate for it to be hard forever. The idea that this might become natural after a while isn't hard core or rock and roll....but it appeals to me and my relatively low key nature. I need this to feel normal. Especially the exercise. Someday, I hope the very thought of missing a work out makes me as grumpy as missing a meal used to. Someday I hope the thought of having seconds isn't even a thought. I suppose I am saying that someday, I want to be that girl....the one who takes a bite of something and puts it down because it's 'just too rich'...or the girl who does take one hour derv and feels satisfied. The girl who puts on a bathing suit without a thought (you know, the thought that says I may get harpooned....) As soon as I wrote that I heard Jillian Michael's screaming in my mind "self deprecation is useless". It's a defense mechanism, what can I say...anywhoooo. I just want to be thin "naturally'. Now, I am laughing....I don't even know what that means. If you guys know, write and tell me. Well, signing off now. I have to be up at six to drive my daughter to school, first day of tenth grade...of course I had her when I was ten, so am quite young ;0).
Well, only a couple weeks left in Missouri 60. I will take an after picture on September 1rst along with a picture of me in my first goal outfit. I can zip and button everything but there is still some pulling at the pockets and some tightness in the arms of the shirt I don't like. So September first is my last day for my size 20 goal outfit. I started at a 24, so four sizes in three and a half months...not too bad. You all take care.