I am Raising the bar.
A long time ago, when I was at my fattest....before I had ever started losing weight...
I was in a local arc thrift store looking through dresses.
I found a halter dress that was white and blue striped.
It was a size 4.
I left it there.
Then it kept coming back to me.
I kept thinking...I really like that dress.
(then my other voice would kick in and say..."Um, your a size 22/24 honey, what are YOU going to do with a dress 20 sizes TOO SMALL?")
I went back...looked at it.
left...went back and bought it.
I had no idea why I bought it.
I think it has something to do with who I am deep down.
Or in a larger sense...who we all are.
I never, even at my highest weight truly gave up hope.
But more than anything..there was something in me that KNEW the true me was buried under fat that WASN'T ME.
So, I took that dress home and hung it up, in the back of my closet.
I didn't show it to anyone.
I didn't tell anyone.
I just left it there at the back of my closet.
Then last may I started a new life.
When I got to a 14, I asked my oldest daughter to try it on..
All the while she is asking...where did you get this dress etc.
I wanted to see what an 8 looked like in that dress.
It fit except for the zipper not zipping all the way up around her ribs. She is built larger than me....She is 5'10 and has a wider rib cage.
That is where it wouldn't zip...The bottom fell wonderfully...
I think that dress would fit me at a size 6.
Especially since my top runs smaller than my bottom.
I have been fitting in 8/10 tops even though my bottoms were 12/14's.
So if my bottom is a 6 then my top is a 4...and it fits.
The bottom is a big ole circular skirt...no restriction on the bottom whatsoever..the tightest part of this dress is right under my breasts.
So my goal is a size 6.
Not for this dress...but because I am small boned.
I am not 'large framed'.
I can wear my 8 year olds socks and gloves.
I am 156/157...I look good in that picture I posted on facebook...
and on my blog yesterday..
What you can't see in those pictures is the cottage cheese clinging to my thighs.
I love clothing.
It hides fat so well.
I have at least 20 lbs to 25 lbs of fat to lose.
I went and bought my goal pants today.
When I bought them, the lady behind the counter said
"They will look so cute on you!"
I said "I am not a size 6 yet, But I will be, they are my goal pants."
She said "You look so tiny!"
This lady is morbidly obese and wheelchair bound and one of the sweetest people around.
I talk to her whenever I go into the px.
I said "Well, thank you."
""I am a size 10 actually, but I started out as a size 24".
She looked shocked.
Then I showed her my photo ID which has my big picture on it...
She said "Well, the good lord is sure helping you.'
"How'd you do it?"
and I told her.
While I like that she thought I fit a six, what I hoped happened there was she took what I said, processed it and realized that she could be 'tiny' too. MOre importantly...healthy.
Everyone keeps telling me to get a new ID card...The longer I go, the less I want to.
I want people to know it's possible.
I want proof.
Proof that I can show people.
So, I have my goal pants which...much like the 10's, I will pin to my wall.
Those sixes will be the end of my weight loss journey and the beginning of my maintenance journey.
I can see the end from here.
I tried them on...and much like when I first bought my 10's, I could only get them up to my butt cheeks.
Which is actually a bit farther than when I bought my 10's and tried them on and pulled them up to mid thigh.
I am still trying to sort what I want to do when I hit maintenance.
Thanks to everyone for the kind words.
I want to write my number 6 thing for beautiful blogger.
In the winter....I turn the heat on my feet and open the car window...so I have fresh air in my face and warm feet.
IT drives my husband crazy, lol.
3 eggs/1 piece toast...310 cal.
1 cup fage/ 1/2 cup peaches, 2 T honey 330 cal.
2 cups coffee, 4 T. sugar, 1/2 cup milk 240 cal.
1 banana, 1 T peanut butter 200 cal.
3.5 servings turkey sausage 270 cal.
1 large stalk broccoli 50 cal.
1 large stalk cauliflower 30 cal.
2 wedges laughing cow cheese 70 cal.
Total calories 1505 calories.
1 hour elliptical
5.5 miles traveled
663 calories burned
upper body weights.
Total burn...around 700 calories.
deficit today 750 calories.
Have a great night guys.