6.23.2010

Who I am now and Where I'll be tomorrow.


Hey all,
For some reason I have been digging the blog awards lately.
Maybe it's because my mind is going in so many different directions, but I am liking these things.
I recieved the oh my blog award a while back...and talked about my most embarrassing moment.
So the rules are I have to get excited...
then pick one of a number of options which I won't list now.
I am a rebel without a clue and rules are made to be broken..
so, I am breaking them.
I will write a soundtrack of the life I have chosen..
How's that.
plbbbbbtttttt.
As I get older I realize more and more that dwelling on things we didn't have any control over is a major stumbling block to progress, AND to becoming the person you want to be.
So, If you are going to Dig it up...
Do it...
Then deal with it.
Then bury it.
And never dig it up again.
Kill it dead...deader than dead...finish it.
The first part of my journey would be kind of Kelly clarksonish...
So...


I spent my teen years moving away. I never let anybody inside my iron curtain.
Nobody.
I watched my mom take too much crap to give my whole heart to anyone.
I kept myself apart.
I dropped my iron curtain after the birth of second daughter.
I loved my oldest...her only with my whole heart.
But just knew because I loved her I would lose her and accepted that....
I knew nothing good could stay.
My husband I kept outside the inner heart.
only so far, no further.
I 'knew' better.
With my second daughter...who was born on July 14th, 2001.
I spent days just staring at her.
Then september 11th happened and I realized that the only thing that mattered was love.
we will all die.
So why waste time not loving.
Now, when I left home I also felt a bit kelly clarksonish..along with a bit of prince...
but mostly this...


Then I met my husband....
and it felt kind of like this...


And in the last four years has turned into this;









And then I had my children
And it felt just like this;



And now for the most important piece of this puzzle...
God.
And he has been my linchpin from the time I could understand that there was something bigger than me.


It's always how I have felt about God.
This song is my relationship in a nutshell. I talk to him like I'd talk to my best friend.
well...that's pretty much it.
Tomorrow I have a guest post..so won't be posting here.
It's my first guest post talking about my 100 lbs lost and what I wanted to say about it.
It's at Mizfit.
Hugs to you all.
Have a great night.
Chris

14 comments:

Amber said...

Awesome Chris!

Amber

Paula Rodriguez said...

Thank you for such a lovely post Chris. Great soundtrack to your current life.

Looking forward to reading your post on MizFit. You're my hero. I've said it far too many times.

Paula

Linda Pressman said...

Chris, thanks for putting into words things that I don't even like admitting to myself - namely that a fear of losing my loved ones makes me keep them out of the innermost parts of my heart.

And yet, like you, I also believe that the deepest meaning of life is the love you create and share, that it's all about love. And the love is tied up with uncertainty, because we have to be willing to live in "I don't know" in order to love deeply.

Thanks so much for this great post.

Robin said...

I can't say that there were any surprises here, but it was beautiful. That Kelly Clarkson song, Because Of You, touches so many people because there are so many dysfunctional families out there. It reflects the fear that so many people have about relationships. Fear is the thing that keeps everyone from what they want. Or the place they want to be. Or the person that they want to become. Once you can push through that Fear, you see things as they really are. Anyway, great post. As always:-)

carla said...

Im honored to have you, too.

Thanks again.

Hanlie said...

I just read your guest post over at Mizfit and you made me cry. Thanks!

Jules said...

Well, its tomorrow and your guest post was like a letter directly to me, by me. But most of all, it allowed me to see, that truly, I am on the right path and it is SO attainable that I can be exactly where you are if I keep doing what I am doing! I will be back for sure!

Lori said...

Lovely post!

SeattleRunnerGirl said...

This is such a great post and gives a lot of insight into who you are and the journey you've been on. Can't wait to "read" you over at Miz tomorrow!

Patrick said...

Great job over at MIZ! Congrats on the blog award :-)

Katie J said...

Thanks for sharing yourself with us Chris. It is a pleasure to know more about you.

karen@fitnessjourney said...

Very clever post. I think we can all relate to music and point to songs that tell our story better than we could do it ourselves. I think I just got to know who you are a little better today.

Natalia said...

Great post! I'll be seeing you at Mizfit's tomorrow!

99ToGo said...

I love your soundtrack!!