6.25.2010

What it all means...

well..
that's quite the title.
Before I go any further I would like to thank Carla a.k.a Mizfit again, for allowing me to express myself to new people.
Thank you Carla.

Now...
I was asked what the reactions to my weight loss were when I went home.
They were very nice and kind.
Lots of wows! and you look fantastics!
lol.
It was nice.
But as I am sure other people have run into...it wasn't what I expected.
I expected to feel validated.
or something.
But when I felt the same. I realized every bit of validation I needed I had already given myself.
I don't feel like a fat person in a thin persons body.
I feel thin and healthy.
I see myself as thin and healthy.
They were telling me things I already knew.
Almost like they were saying...Hey, you have brown eyes.
I think my warped brain has been cured.
I am not surprised by mirrors or my reflection in windows.
It's my new normal.
My life did not suddenly transform into a wonderland here-to-fore limited only to the thin among us.
It's the same..I'm just thinner and able to do more.
I go to the park.
I go swimming in a bathing suit..
(bought one at kohls and wore it at not only a relatives house, but at the pool on post two days ago.)
I felt completely normal in my bathing suit.
I didn't pull at it.
I like it.
The best part of all this is:
I feel normal.
I get flirted with.
I get stared at by men in other cars at lights, they smile or wave...I move on.
But after a while that's just a part of it all...and I am glad I am married.
Because quite frankly...
WHAT the h*ll happened to the men?
Just a question.
Stop wearing your pants around your ankles...and you aren't 16 so flip the lid around dork.
okay, mini rant done.
lol.
What does it all mean, this weight loss journey.
I am nearing completion.
My weight is coming off at a crawl but I am near 'normal'.
After that it's vanity weight.
I feel great daily.
The feeling of being tired and grossly out of place is long gone.
It means I am free.
There is no physical impediment in my way.
I can accomplish, physically, anything I really want to.
(Well apart from professional basketball, I'm no spud webb)
I have given myself a chance at a long healthy life.
I know I am capable of very difficult things.
I know that to accomplish big things...you sometimes just have to leap.
don't hem and haw.
Don't think too mUch.
Start by doing.
Let the rest follow.
Have a great night all.
For the next night or two I am going to bring back my playlist.
Just some stuff that reminds my of my teenage years.
How I felt back then hanging out and cruising with my friends.
Going back to where I grew up brought up all sorts of memories, and for the first time...most were good.
Have a great night guys.

13 comments:

Amber said...

It's nice to feel "normal". Makes so many things much easier to do. And it also make life a bit easier to truly enjoy. It's hard to enjoy things when you spend most of the time worried about how "bad" you look.

Glad life is going so well for you and that you are now a truly happy and healthy person, and my friend.

Ditto on the pants, pull them up bud!! Please!

Amber

Morgan said...

So tell me - when you started out on your weight loss journey, did you already know how to work through your mental blocks? Or did that just come to you as you were losing weight? I feel like I just don't know how to find my issues and work through them, let alone can I imagine a time when being thin will just seem like normal. Where did you start with all the underlying stuff?

Sheilagh (60 x60) said...

I want to be there!!
I am tired, and weary of fighting this battle and where you are seems a million miles from where I am standing.

I am so pleased for you, your determination, perseverance and self worth have paid huge dividends.

You Rock !

Hanlie said...

I think that feeling "normal" must be quite a thing... Some people say that they never felt it - even after losing the weight they still felt like a pretender. In that case I reckon weight is not the real issue.

Thank you for always providing the balanced view, Chris!

logmyloss said...

I can relate to so much of what you say Chris. While I am not at my goal yet either, I am getting close. The differences we are seeing in our lives parallels in many ways.

btw, not all of us men wear our pants around our ankles with caps on backwards. :-) Some of us wear regular bluejeans and t-shirts (or the work uniform (i.e., shirt and tie).

karen@fitnessjourney said...

I really like what you said about validating yourself. When I gained 50 pounds with my first pregnancy I loathed myself so much. As I lost weight and began receiving compliments, I must admit I got caught up in the attention and ended up losing too much weight because the attention was a little addictive. I wish I had had the same mentality then that you have now.

Patrick said...

LOL, mini rant was cool. Yeah, not sure what anyone finds appealing to the styles that seem to be in play today. Ipromise not to lower my pants as I lower my waistline size, promise!

SeattleRunnerGirl said...

1. Love the NEW NORMAL.
2. Amen to the mini-rant.
3. I LOVE that you know who Spud Webb is!!

So glad you are feeling RIGHT and HEALTHY and, well, REAL in your healthy, slim, strong body. You earned it!

Melissa said...

Love this post!! Glad you are starting to get used to the new you!

Robin said...

I really don't have any good words for this post. Inspirational is close, but not good enough. I will keep thinking on it. I might come up with it yet...

Janice - The Fitness Cheerleader said...

STopping by from mizfits site to say Congratulations - way to go! You are truly inspiring and thanks for sharing your story :)

Learning to be Less said...

Awesome post!! I could not agree more. It is wierd with men flirting now. Even after they know I am married. I just think....he loved me when I was fat. He is a great provider and wonderful person. What the hell have you done in life?

So proud of you and cannot wait to rejoin the journey after baby comes.

Linda Pressman said...

You should see the men in my age group!

There are interesting things that happen after years at a "normal" weight too, Chris. There will be weird fluctuations, hormones, but I think what you'll notice is what I've noticed: I have no tolerance for being fat again and my definition of it is not huge anymore. I can feel extra weight on my body now, even small amounts.