accountability and weight loss...

Quite the word, accountability. To be held to account. What better place really, than the world wide web. I have put a lot of leverage on myself this time around. Short of taking out a sign on the freeway (hmmmm .....), this is as public as I can make my journey to lose weight. I have no faith in my willpower, why? Because inevitably, my will turns to eating, and then I WILL EAT.
So, it's friends knowing, it's writing the whys everyday, it's loggin my food, it's eliminating excuses by taking every thought captive, like it says in the bible. Here are some thoughts that make it okay to eat what I want, when I want.
1.) It's just for today, I can start again tommorrow. (tommorrow never comes)
2.) Why does everyone else get to eat whatever they want? (Because that's their decision)
3.) I am not that fat. (yes, you are)
4.) I can walk this off later. (I never walk it off, in fact, I never leave the couch)
5.) I will just have one. (one what? one chip, or one bag?)
6.) No one will know (except the person who matters, me...and God...and the scale cause she don't lie.)

These are just some of the self justification that led me to my current state. Sounds like an addict to me. I'll stop drinking tommorrow, why does everyone else get some, I am not that much of a drunk, I will sleep it off later, I WILL HAVE JUST ONE, NO ONE WILL KNOW....
wow. I took a two mile walk today and so far my calories are at 1576, I am going to have a sugar free cuppa jello pudding (dulce de leche lol for you girl scout leader homies out there). They are very tasty and good for getting rid of a sweet urge.

Okay reason two for losing weight.....so I can be the woman my husband married. A size 8 and active. So he can be proud to have me on his arm. A nd, before I get offended women saying blah blah blah, I would just like to say this; If your husband gained 130 lbs and stopped caring how he dressed and looked, tell me you wouldn't be embarrassed. Nuff said. I have already apologized to him for becoming a slob. I would like to be a slender and beautiful woman. That's number two.

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