2.07.2010

The forest for the trees.....

Hey all,
I was listening to the radio today...and a couple of guys were talking about the wonderful properties of the English language...
It's precision is remarkable, they declared.
I thought and would have to say, I agree.
I think my post yesterday was NOT CLEAR.
I was expressing frustration...I think that was apparent.
But I feel like I gave the erroneous impression that it was all about my missed workout, or baking a cake. Probably because that was what I was babbling about. ;o)
My frustration stems solely from my seeming inability to pull my head out of my rear organization wise.
My frustration was not in driving to the roller rink, but in having to get gas before I went.
Not in buying kate a present, but in doing so...not only did I forget to pick up ice cream
I LOST MY DEBIT CARD...IN THE STORE...
And in doing so spent forty five minutes when I could have been picking up ice cream...on the phone to the bank cancelling my debit card.
So what does she get...
A cake that is poorly decorated because I didn't bake the cake till that morning, put the frosting on and then did a kind of Jackson pollacky thingy with the tubes of frosting I had...
I didn't even buy enough CANDLES.
Thank goodness the whole birthday didn't hinge on the cake..
It all hinged on the skating party...which was awesome.
But knowing that doesn't let me off the hook in my own mind.
This past 8 months was about alot more than just weight loss for me...
It's been my attempt at personal growth by forcing myself to 'grow up' and try new things.
Things like...
Be a girl scout troop leader...
I live in fear of failing bigtime.
I am going to post something about me that you all don't know.
I am actually on the autism spectrum....
My mom took me to a doctor in first grade because I was doing the whole spaced out rocking thing....
The doctor tried to explain it to my mom...however, she was incensed that she thought he was attempting to call me retarded when I 'could read on my own at age four'....
What she failed to understand is that people with milder forms of autism aren't 'retarded'
In fact, many are very, very bright.
My rocking was an attempt to soothe myself when I became overstimulated....
Which I tended to do in crowds or when there is a ton of activity.
I notice EVERYTHING.
I don't really have a filter.
When I was young, I would go into my head and do things like put together the eiffel tower in my head...I could actually see how the whole thing connected....and then I would draw what I saw in my head.
These days, I can feel myself begin to slip...When I feel like things are too much I start to go kind of daydreamy...but if I focus really hard I can pull my mind back in...
The only thing that really helped me growing up, was to draw or to read.
When I drew I could focus.  People are always saying how detailed my drawings are...
well, It calms me down to draw.
I read about it, and they talk about how some kids count....well, I drew.
I do it now in different ways.  I have learned to cope by focusing.  For instance...
At parties, I hone in on one person.
At girl scouts, I focus on going in order.....I focus one girl at a time.
I am great one on one....I have very good focus.
My trouble comes with juggling...I see so many people who are good at keeping all the balls in the air.
I have coped this year with home school by assigning hours to the school...between 9 and 1 I do school.
Then I clean for two hours.
Then  I blah blaah blah....
It really helps me.
I need a system to incorporate all the different aspects of my life and a way to say no to distractions.
I also need a way to relax.
The gym does not relax me.
Doing girl scouts does not relax me...
These things drain me. I do enjoy them because I am doing something I was afraid to do...something  I thought I couldn't...but that are worthwhile.
They are my personal challenges.
Especially girl scouts.
After I am done I need to lay down and sleep or to be by myself for an hour or two.
Don't get me wrong...I am greatful for this problem  because It has taught me that if you really try, if you really focus..you can over come things that other people might not think you can.
I am able to focus like nobody's business..
In doing so, I sometimes miss the forest for the trees.
I want to enjoy special days instead of missing them because my focus is all in one area, or i am running around because I failed to plan..therefore planned to fail.
So, I am thinking of maybe a calendar system to alert me four or five days out that something is coming.
Do any of you have good ways to organize yourselves?
I could use some good suggestions for an overall kind of system.I need to integrate everything...from housework, to homeschool to extracurricular activites, to working out and running errands.
I really want this in place, this organizational system..before the end of march..It was my one New Years eve resolution.
Things are cleaner in the house..because I assign two hour a day to doing housework...but I am no where near where I want to be  yet.
Well...I got my workout in, and burned 720 calories tonight.
I am also in under 1400 calories.
I hope you all had a successful day today.
Hugs,
Chris

16 comments:

Jack Sh*t, Gettin' Fit said...

Organizing yourself? There's gotta be an app for that...

cmoursler said...

lol....it would probably help if I had an i phone...

midlife_swimmer said...

I am often spectrummy myself after my youngest was diagnosed I thought...hey I am just like that too! I call my alone time my "decompression" time.

Kim said...

I feel your pain...totally. I can get stuff done, but it takes a lot of effort mentally. My brain is constantly in thought all day long. It will not rest unless I focus it on something that distracts me. I'm an avid reader and that is b/c I need something to help give my brain a break throughout the day. If I don't have something to focus on in between the busyness, I get so scattered that I can't keep my mind on one specific thing I need to do. It's very frustrating. I need to learn how to keep my mind focused on the task at hand so I can move on to the next task. If you find a way to do this...please share. lol

Brenda said...

I like having daily planners, and especially needed one when I was doing the cleaning business. Biggest thing, tho', was to not be so focused on the planner that if I missed something on it, it wouldn't throw me so far out of whack that I'd just get discouraged and quit.
I remember trying this when I first began homeschooling. I planned Chelsie's whole curriculum. I wrote out how many pages she'd need to do to complete a semester of work. I'm not kidding when I tell you that the plans (and the planner!) went out the window by the 2nd week of school, because something threw it off and then the whole schedule was off. Learned real quick that a change of tactic was in order.
This comment probably didn't help in ways of ideas for you, but that's what came out of my head for now! (Can you tell it's getting late?!)
You're a great girl scout leader, btw!

Linda Pressman said...

You tell me if someone offers you an amazing organization plan, Chris, because I need it too. As it is, I have one planner I use for my editor work and then my regular planner that holds all the kid stuff/family stuff and my stuff. But it'd be nice to have some kind of gigantic white board to map it all out with the times.

Rettakat said...

Well, I started to say I would send you an email, since what I wrote was kinda long... but I can't find your email addy anywhere. :-(
I'll post it here, but only if you want, since it's long. Otherwise, you could email me at rettakat at gmail dot com. Whichever you prefer. :-)

Loretta
=^..^=

Syl said...

i once made a resolution to be more organized, it lasted a week:-)

Leslie said...

God - organization is tough for me. One word - lists. Only you need to be able to find the lists.
It seems to me that you're doing better with establishing some parameters for yourself and all the things in your life remarkably well.

I really appreciate your honesty here, Chris. Quite a lot to contend with, and you seem to be making huge inroads in contending! It makes me respect you even more.

karen@fitnessjourney said...

Chris I admire you even more knowing that you've had this challenge and still have been so successful. Too often we only hear about the failures and challenges associated with those on the autism spectrum. Thank you for sharing this with us.

As far as organizing is concerned, I grew up with the world's most organized mom and what she taught me was to keep lists and also, like you, keep a calendar and be sure to look ahead. Just like you assign home schooling activities to a certain time of day, you may want to assign a time for organizing/planning your activities.

Best of luck.

Debbie said...

When you get yourself all organized would you come help me? Maybe I should invest in an iPhone, too!

seattlerunnergirl said...

Chris, does your cell phone or computer have a calendaring system? I use Outlook on my computer which also transfers to my phone. If I didn't have it, I would miss appointments and forget tasks all the time!

I'd start with the idea you had of calendaring important events and setting a reminder for yourself a week in advance. Also, when you know you have a birthday coming up, for example, you can also calendar important tasks beforehand - i.e., shop for the gift 1 week before, shop for the cake ingredients 5 days before, bake the cake 1 day before, etc.

I also set aside time each night after my evening snack before I head to bed to plan out my next day, in terms of food, workouts, etc. I look at my calendar and structure my day around the things I have going on (meetings, etc.) but I also make the important stuff (workouts, eating healthy) non-negotiable.

I don't know if any of this will help, but hang in there!

bbubblyb said...

I am so disorganized most of the time too. It's a daily struggle and like you sometimes I miss enjoying myself because I get myself so worked up over the little things. It's gotten that my kids are always saying "don't worry about it mom it will be ok" so I try to always hear them saying that in my head when I find myself getting all worked up. I think having a schedule is a great idea. I keep a calendar at work that helps me with that too. I'm sure you'll succeed at this.

Katie said...

I'm sure you will do wonderful with your organizational goals! :]

I usually fail miserably at them, but lately I have been doing much better.

You go girl!

Elaine said...

I really identify with the fear of failure. My fear has held me back a lot, and I am trying to bulldoze through that fear now, because I realize that I've failed by not trying the things that I've wanted to do.

An organization method that works for me is lists. My daughter and I have check lists on our bedroom walls of things that we have to do every day (such as make bed, take vitamin, etc). We check them off as we do them. And then I also make to do lists for individual days and pin them up next to the general check lists. I also keep my daily planner on my nightstand so that I can check it first thing in the morning.

debby said...

Chris, do you know Vickie over on Baby Steps V? Organization is very very important to her, and she shares very specific and helpful ways to organize certain things. Her blog is at: http://baby-steps-v.blogspot.com/

I am not organized so can offer nothing personally!