I was listening to the radio today...and a couple of guys were talking about the wonderful properties of the English language...
It's precision is remarkable, they declared.
I thought and would have to say, I agree.
I think my post yesterday was NOT CLEAR.
I was expressing frustration...I think that was apparent.
But I feel like I gave the erroneous impression that it was all about my missed workout, or baking a cake. Probably because that was what I was babbling about. ;o)
My frustration stems solely from my seeming inability to pull my head out of my rear organization wise.
My frustration was not in driving to the roller rink, but in having to get gas before I went.
Not in buying kate a present, but in doing so...not only did I forget to pick up ice cream
I LOST MY DEBIT CARD...IN THE STORE...
And in doing so spent forty five minutes when I could have been picking up ice cream...on the phone to the bank cancelling my debit card.
So what does she get...
A cake that is poorly decorated because I didn't bake the cake till that morning, put the frosting on and then did a kind of Jackson pollacky thingy with the tubes of frosting I had...
I didn't even buy enough CANDLES.
Thank goodness the whole birthday didn't hinge on the cake..
It all hinged on the skating party...which was awesome.
But knowing that doesn't let me off the hook in my own mind.
This past 8 months was about alot more than just weight loss for me...
It's been my attempt at personal growth by forcing myself to 'grow up' and try new things.
Be a girl scout troop leader...
I live in fear of failing bigtime.
I am going to post something about me that you all don't know.
I am actually on the autism spectrum....
My mom took me to a doctor in first grade because I was doing the whole spaced out rocking thing....
The doctor tried to explain it to my mom...however, she was incensed that she thought he was attempting to call me retarded when I 'could read on my own at age four'....
What she failed to understand is that people with milder forms of autism aren't 'retarded'
In fact, many are very, very bright.
My rocking was an attempt to soothe myself when I became overstimulated....
Which I tended to do in crowds or when there is a ton of activity.
I notice EVERYTHING.
I don't really have a filter.
When I was young, I would go into my head and do things like put together the eiffel tower in my head...I could actually see how the whole thing connected....and then I would draw what I saw in my head.
These days, I can feel myself begin to slip...When I feel like things are too much I start to go kind of daydreamy...but if I focus really hard I can pull my mind back in...
The only thing that really helped me growing up, was to draw or to read.
When I drew I could focus. People are always saying how detailed my drawings are...
well, It calms me down to draw.
I read about it, and they talk about how some kids count....well, I drew.
I do it now in different ways. I have learned to cope by focusing. For instance...
At parties, I hone in on one person.
At girl scouts, I focus on going in order.....I focus one girl at a time.
I am great one on one....I have very good focus.
My trouble comes with juggling...I see so many people who are good at keeping all the balls in the air.
I have coped this year with home school by assigning hours to the school...between 9 and 1 I do school.
Then I clean for two hours.
Then I blah blaah blah....
It really helps me.
I need a system to incorporate all the different aspects of my life and a way to say no to distractions.
I also need a way to relax.
The gym does not relax me.
Doing girl scouts does not relax me...
These things drain me. I do enjoy them because I am doing something I was afraid to do...something I thought I couldn't...but that are worthwhile.
They are my personal challenges.
Especially girl scouts.
After I am done I need to lay down and sleep or to be by myself for an hour or two.
Don't get me wrong...I am greatful for this problem because It has taught me that if you really try, if you really focus..you can over come things that other people might not think you can.
I am able to focus like nobody's business..
In doing so, I sometimes miss the forest for the trees.
I want to enjoy special days instead of missing them because my focus is all in one area, or i am running around because I failed to plan..therefore planned to fail.
So, I am thinking of maybe a calendar system to alert me four or five days out that something is coming.
Do any of you have good ways to organize yourselves?
I could use some good suggestions for an overall kind of system.I need to integrate everything...from housework, to homeschool to extracurricular activites, to working out and running errands.
I really want this in place, this organizational system..before the end of march..It was my one New Years eve resolution.
Things are cleaner in the house..because I assign two hour a day to doing housework...but I am no where near where I want to be yet.
Well...I got my workout in, and burned 720 calories tonight.
I am also in under 1400 calories.
I hope you all had a successful day today.