back from b & n.
I just wanted to pop in and say how disappointing I find most romance novels these days.
This will be a quick rant for the two or three people on my blog list that actually read these....
Can you (meaning romance writers of America)
1.) Making everyone a LORD, A VISCOUNT, or a DUKE.
At this point, I am wondering who is actually doing the work in 1800's England.
I think women as a whole can like a hero who isn't nobility...we marry them everyday.
Good brother people....the whole frickin' country can't be peerage.
2.) Making them vampires, werewolves and other sundry strange, mysterious or fey creatures.
I start getting into a story and pop...out come the fangs. Or, heaven forfend it's a werewolf....
Then the only image I actually have in my head, is them having a litter somewhere down the road.
I know there are 'trends' in romantic fiction...but someone please hop off this bandwagon because I think a full moon is coming....
3.) RIDICULOUS NAMES.
Here are some real life examples....
Fielding Grey ( a viscount of course) sounds like a horse..of course.
Chase Eversea ( NOT A LORD.... which SHOULD be an improvement.) But unfortunately, his occupation as a sea captain makes this otherwise acceptable name, seem more like an "Oh my gosh! My deadline is coming up, and I JUST DON'T HAVE A NAME FOR MY HERO so QUICK, what is his occupation.....Chase ever sea.....
MINA MASTERS....Um this is the heroine's NAME....you can take it where you want to. Namely to a James Bond flick..
Reine Pingre- Go ahead, pronounce it...I dare you.
Akira Neish ????????what??????????? (this is an historical, not a sci fi /time travel.)
And last, but certainly not least...as I could go on all day... the ignobly named...
A heroine after our own heart...who is searching nobly for her destiny and is (as such) aptly named.
4.) The names of the books....they ALL seeeeeem to have a familiar ring to them.
Firstly there is the:
LORD OF PLEASURE. (I guess there would have to be considering how many lords are gallivanting around bonny old England)
Who then- in time- becomes
LORD LIBERTINE by gail ranstrom ( I am venturing to guess, not HER real name EITHER...) .
Now I am not saying this is a book series, I am just saying that to only wallow in pleasure, can in time, make you a libertine..).
then we have the elemental Lords...
LORD OF FIRE
LORD OF ICE
Not to be outdone, someone came up with the clever title...
LORD OF MIDNIGHT
Then you have:
PIRATE LORD by sabrina jeffries
LORD OF SCOUNDRELS (Well, makes sense...again....there is a lord of pleasure so why not)
There is LORD CAREW'S BRIDE (Who she is, we have no clue...)
Don't forget the HIGHLAND LORD...MY LORD FOOTMAN... and THE NOTORIOUS LORD....
And to wrap this lord fest up....let us not forget the MADNESS OF LORD IAN MACKENZIE...
Which seems to me to be the most straight forward title in the host of lords thusfar presented.
I should write one...a romance novel...
It can't be that hard....I just need a good title...
Lord of Passion....
Now I just need a name for the girl...after all, I don't really have to name him and his flaring nostrils.
I just have to make him a mildly britishy viscount.
So, Viscount Britishton meets spunky and unconventional
She is being forced to wed a nasty brute, when at the last moment she loses her virginity to Viscount Britishton (aka The lord of Passion) one night during a scandalous game of bridge.
They have their one night of passion, but fearing her precious freedom will be stripped from her (like her petticoat of the night before).
Prudence prudently flees the continent....by stowing away on a frigate bound for India.
Little knowing that Viscount Britishton is also aboard. Because, not only is he a viscount, he is also an impossibly wealthy shipping magnate. And bound by his love for the land of his birth, and his undeniable sense of duty, he has also offered his services as a spy for the foreign office in his spare time.
What follows is a swashbuckling tale of Prudence and Passion...
WHICH WILL WIN?
There, now I'm a millionaire.
Have a great night folks.
Your romantical blogger,