4.02.2011

Burning your metaphorical bridges.

okay,
So....my contention is that 90 percent of this struggle is mental....
You have got to burn your bridges...
or even better....
burn your boats once you hit your destination so there is no way back and you must adapt.
With drug use, it's pretty easy...not that stopping the drugs is easy...
but cutting it out of your life is pretty black and white.
You don't buy them, you don't use them.
That's it.
Food.
Not so much..
every single one of us is going to come to a point where we are going to have to learn to deal with food again.
Yes, we can have a rigorous plan..
follow it.
But eventually we will have to go back to eating with our families...
I have to set my mind that my calorie cap is as much in effect now as it ever was...
that my higher calorie days need to be planned...
And there is no going back.
But eventually it will come to a point where we have to draw a forever line.
I have drawn several of them over time...
My first forever line was..."I will never be asleep in regards to what I put in my mouth again'.
My second "I will never ever go over 200 pounds again."
My third "I will never be in woman's sizes again".
(This one I did with flair...I burned all my 1x, 2x, and 3x pants)
Then...
I will never be over the tens..
180
170
160
150
You see, I set my personal rubicon at 150 after I crossed 200.
I was 156 for much of my teen years.
I was 138 lbs BRIEFLY in the army.
I have set my new personal rubicon.
I will never go over 140 lbs again.
That is 'normal' for me.
ever...
Once I cross that line. That's it..barring pregnancy.
or being impaled by a large immovable object.
So, in the spirit of that pledge...
I burned my bridge.
I gave away my safety pants.
A pair of size 12's.
I only have 10's and belows...
once I cross 140-the 10's go.
and all I will have left is the 8's...I get too big..I am naked.
because I am not made of money. lol.
I didn't want safe passage back to overwieghtsville.
I want a one way ticket to normalton..
I do want this.
For me.
For no one but me.
It isn't a value judgement on the 150's...it has nothing to do with anyone but me...
and I have decided.

I weighed in at 145.5 this morning...
goodbye half pound of fat...
another pound and a half will get rid of the rest of the unwanted weight, and then it's on to the 140 rubicon.
Have a great night guys,
Chris out.

13 comments:

Kimberley said...

I always love to read your posts...you are so full of strength and determination!

E. Jane said...

You are so very close, Chris! It's smart not to set up a "safe passage" back from where you have come, because that is often what we want to do during stressful times (and we all have them). You have prepared yourself for what you want your future to be. Burning bridges can be a good thing--and I have decided that metaphor can also apply to people who are dangerous to my weight loss program. Good job, Chris!

The New Christine said...

:D

::very loud applause::

Candy kankles said...

i love how you think! You are so close i keep looking at your before picture and the difference is amazing!

Joy said...

I like how you have burned the bridge along the way. I have done that with my large clothes. Once they are too big, they are out of the house. I don't have fall back clothes ~ which is kind of a bummer, my wardrobe is very limited right now. No spring or summer clothes. Bummer, I have to go shopping!

Keep it up ~ You are doing great!!!

Amber said...

Ok, you help keep my honsest, k?!
I'll make a vow to never cross here again.
Won't share number here but I know what it is and I'll talk to ya later, so someone can help hold me accountable.
Deal? Deal!
Awesome post! as usual

Christine said...

deal. I know you have what it takes to do what you want to do.

Hanlie said...

"No safe passage back to Fatville"? I love that! This is an awesome post, Chris.

carla said...

YOU ARE SO WISE.

and yes.
Im kinda screaming that.

Miz.

Fiona said...

Awesome.

I love that you keep making the line closer to the best you.

Helen said...

Really good bridge burning images in this post that is also filled with practical and good ideas!

Putz said...

do YOU KNOW that is the worry i have always had about you, that you would cut out food like you say you should do about drugs and then you probably laugh and say silly boy, how could i let that happen, but my boy was on a food tube for 8 months, and if taken off it it wouldn't have eaten, i swear, and then my wife's special education boosss died when she quit eating,.<><>so any who, i have always had that worry about you<><>silly girl

bbubblyb said...

Great post Chris, during my journey I've gotten rid of the big clothes as I've went so I couldn't return either. I have my locked in "no pass" weight too with TOPS thankfully. I think we all need that for sure. I think accountability is a huge key for me too. Maybe some day I'll be strong enough to not need to tell someone my weight but I doubt it. It's just something I'll always need I think. Anyway, love your thoughts.