4.08.2011

You can climb out of your tower whenever you want....

You know, I like to extrapolate great life truths from seemingly insignificant and trite circumstances... it keeps me sane.
anywhoozle.
As you all know, my kids and I watched Tangled last night.. and as we were driving to Barnes and Nobles for our weekly treat/book fest, my youngest looked at me and said "Isn't it weird, she could have climbed out of her tower any time she wanted.' I said "Yes, she could have...but she was too afraid".
And any of you who have watched that movie know that she had a person who ran her down, made her feel incapable..
heck, at one point...the witch even suggested she was getting a bit chubby (how many other fat or formerly fat people had that one leap out at them...lol)
It got to the point where she felt safe in her tower even though she wanted desperately to climb out.
She had a voice telling her she couldn't...
telling her taking time for herself was selfish...
telling her the world was too big, that it was too hard...

My tower was my fat.

It kept me safe from men.
I thought it kept the scary and 'bad' feelings at bay... feelings like anger and fear... but all I did by eating it was turn it into depression and self loathing.

I thought If I felt all that anger, I would get eaten up by it..
Now, if you allow your anger to turn to bitterness...yes it will eat you.
But if you allow your anger to propel you..
to push you to make yourself better..
Then righteous anger is a motivator...
and I will tell you...
it beats the hell out of depression.

Then when you have propelled yourself to something you didn't think you could do...
That righteous anger turns to triumph and happiness.
And when you are triumphant and happy....you can start to look at the damaged people who hurt you with some compassion.
Because people who batter or abuse are generally people who have been battered and abused.
And many times, they are still stuck in their pain...
and because of their inability to look at their attitudes, and behaviors...They will never pull free from it.
And that deserves pity, not bitterness.

So...climb out of that tower.
It is a little scary out here...
But it's more fun than scary...
and at this point...the voice telling you that you can't make it doesn't belong to your witch of a mother or father or sister or gramma...

It's all in your head.

And you can shut it up whenever you choose to.
Have a great night.
caloric intake 1645
calorie burn 350
calories maintained for a 135 lb woman.

hugs,
Chris out.
Thank You Loretta!....I got my style back. lol

17 comments:

Rettakat said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Rettakat said...

Ha ha ha... I had to delete my comment and re-do it. Apparently what I suggested DOES work... so well, that it worked in my comment instead of being "instructions".

So.... here is what I said, only instead of writing the code exactly as you would use it, I'll have to fake it, so it won't be read by blogger as html code... if that makes sense.
------

Rettakat said...
Until you get it fixed, maybe you can use a snippet of HTML code to get a space in there.

Try inserting

< ... br ... > < ... br ... >

at the end of a sentence, where you want a space... ONLY LEAVE OUT THE SPACES AND DOTS I ADDED. Just type it all together, no blank spacing or dots.

Then again, you might have already tried this, LOL!

Christine said...

ahhh...I have not tried this...let me try this....

Deb Willbefree said...

Hmmm. The comments are a little confusing...am I to assume that your post lay-out was messed up and Rettakat's code suggestion fixed it to look the way it does now? :)

As far as the post goes, LOVED IT!

Great analogy. You're so good at that.

Deb

Christine said...

@deb...yes...it was just a wall of text and nothing was working...loretta saved the day! and thanks.

Hanlie said...

I'm climbing out of the tower and it sure is scary... But there is no going back. None at all.

E. Jane said...

I believe that fear is at the root of almost anything that motivates us in a negative way--anger, jealousy, anxiety, aggression, etc. When you grow up fearful, it is so hard to break free of that prison. It takes great effort and will. You are a role model in that respect.

lessofme said...

I took my daughter and some friends to see Tangled for her birthday and yes, that bit jumped out at me too. Your post is perfectly timed. I have an issue when it comes to people noticing that I have lost weight. The more people that mention it the more uncomfortable I feel about it. I am trying to figure out why. Your words ring with me when it comes to thinking about that. I am trying to give it thought now so I can be prepared this time.

Robin said...

Great piece Chris. Fear and INSECURITY or maybe the loss of belief in oneself is responsible for so many things. I think that people have to take their life back a little at a time. Once that they see that they can do it, they start to take back more and more. Eventually, they hit a place where everything is possible. However, that mindset doesn't happen overnight. I think it happens in small steps. It is one foot forward, and then another, and then another. Eventually, a person realizes that they have actually traveled quite a long way and it forces them to reevaluate what they can and cannot do. They CAN do more than they thought. And that is when they really start going places.

Reva said...

analogy's are great and yes, we all do have our towers in one form or other. Mine is shutting off my feelings when I feel threatened or hurt so it's been a challenge but I'm mostly freeeeeee yea!!

Fiona said...

Love the post!!!

Elisha Dew said...

Sometimes even when we recognize what's going on, and the way out, and even how much better it will be once we have escaped, it can be scary to change the way things are. I can feel a shift going on with me right now ... Yes, I am scared, but perhaps it's not as scary as I imagined.

Joy said...

Great post!! It is scary stepping out of the comfort zone. I agree, it is most rewarding!!

Keep focused!

Jack Sh*t, Gettin' Fit said...

Very inspirational. I think I'm gonna let down my back hair...

'Yellow Rose' Jasmine said...

I love the way you get 'life lessons' out of everything around you. Makes me feel a little less crazy for relating to the world in a similar way- ha! I have only done the weight loss thing once and this is it for me and I know it. But I was once so broken by the voices that were left inside my head that I never believed I would even ever try. You are so right on with the things you say and especially with the 'way' that you say them.
I still have trouble with some small things- like lessofme, I struggle with getting attention for having lost weight. I believe it is because I have to admit that I did not have it as together as I believed I did. It took years to get over the hurts that my family dealt and then more time to learn to take care of myself properly. Now, I meet that particular challenge head on- I refuse to wear big, sloppy or 'hiding' type clothing. I wear fitted and tailored things and accept that people will notice- not only because I am thinner but because I feel better about myself.

lessofme said...

Yellow Rose Jasmine - I blogged about it after reading this and writing my comment and while I was doing it a solution popped into my head.

Putz said...

is this a post about fat???/were you ever fat????you couldn't tell nowadays