4.04.2011

How weight loss is like cleaning your lint trap.

hello all, I am typing this from our downstairs computer....my laptop seems to have hit the heavenly highway. It may be fixable, we'll see. However, if this government shutdown happens..my husband may not be recieving his retirement pay. Does this mean we don't have to pay taxes. ????? Why should we pay taxes to a government that fails to operate. okay.. I a m done. swore I woudn't do this anymore. *confederations of dunces...mutter, mutter, mutter....* anywhoozle. I decided something yesterday. I have been having a hard time having the diet mentality lately. Probably because I am thiiiiiisssss close to normal. I will be doing this for two years on may 4th (official weigh in May 18th). I realized that I have been flipping and flopping all over the place lately because I felt I 'should' be going after a number with all my might. ....fighting for the last 5 pounds to normal. And I am going to get there and lower. But I think I was trying to do it quickly more for 'you'...than for me. Sometimes I think we get caught up in trying to inspire... then what I started this whole thing for...which was to get healthy. I didn't set some sort of time limit on me when I started... I was just hoping to be less fat than when I started. And I am...considerably so. My needs are changing. I need to refocus on my family while holding on to and moving forward with my progress. Last month when I upped my calories I gave myself permission on several occasions to go over my calorie limit. Saying in my head "I will simply hit it hard core next week'. Knowing I could. I have done it for almost two years. Instead I have to learn to develop a new kind of deliberateness about my food intake. 'moderation'. moderation in food. moderation in exercise. But mostly moderation in food. moderation. ack. Not something I have ever excelled at.. like putting the lid back on the toothpaste... or sharpening your mower blades... or thoroughly cleaning your lint trap. Being aware of your food. Being aware of your exercise level. Moderating it daily. It's not particularly exciting. Allowing a higher calorie day once a week, but no blow outs. moderating your higher calorie days...which I have never done before. yeah. This is where the rubber meets the road. Interesting...going back this is what I wrote at the beginning (about a month in) to my journey... June 5th, 2009 " I need to feel as normal as possible and I need to make this a normal part of my life. That means "splurge days" will have to be replaced with eating a slightly higher calorie day two or three days out of every month. I will start this part of the process around month six or seven. Right now, psychologically, I need a "splurge" day. In time I think I can move to eating foods I love in moderation and begin to incorporate the higher calorie items in with my new mostly healthy choices. we will see." I think I knew from the get go...and, I have resisted all along, any sort of quick fix mentality. The quick fix mentality was a prime suspect in all previous dieting failures. I wanted this time to be the last time. So if it comes off at 2 pounds a month... WHAT DOES IT MATTER. So long as it doesn't come ON at two pounds a month. I am healthy...now it's just a matter of degrees. The thin beige line. lmao. And a good friend and frequent reader...mr. putz..was afraid I would give up eating. You know, I had a while there where I still felt fat. In fact I had it yesterday...which was why I took a picture and put it on my facebook page. I think you can get so obsessed with an image in your head that you can go off the other edge. anorexia or bulimia. At some point, being healthy, but not perfect has got to be okay. So...I will get there. by moderating my eating. By exercising six days a week and resting on the seventh. By being consistent. btw. I cleaned my lint trap in my dryer today....with a toothbrush. Have a great night guys! Chris out.

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

I've been thinking about this whole "parallel truth" as Loretta stated it in her blog for a few weeks.

I think we need both the long haul mentality and the quick fix flash. I think that ultimately making changes based on health, developing a healthy lifestyle--especially towards food--is essential and must undergird what we do.

But I also think that we need to hit it hard and just do the strict versi now and then. It kind of puts wind in our sails and reminds us that we CAN do this. zoom, zoom, zoom. Pa-dah!

Like Spring cleaning. NOT something you want to do wvery week. But once in a while, you just need to cut loose, stir up some dust, and shovel out.

Especially if you've been having a lax time--like thru the dark of winter.

On the other hand, you need a plan for housework that works daily or you'll live in chaos more days than not. That daily plan is essential for anything of value to be accomplished long term. (I bet men don't use housecleaning analogies.)

You know where your timing is now. Maybe now is a time to establish a reasonable, day--m-day-out routine that fits within your life--which is more than a number on a scale. Maybe the spring cleaning days served their purpose.

I'm having a Spring Cleaning moment. Picking up the dust mop and headin' out to conquer. :D

Deb

Amber said...

Everything in moderation!

Retta said...

Loved Deb's comment...she explained it so much better than I did! I currently seem to be in the "need to shake out the dust" mode myself. But for later, I love what you said:

"At some point, being healthy, but not perfect has got to be okay."

Excellent goal.

Loretta
=^..^=

Ashley said...

I seriously needed to read this post! Thanks!

E. Jane said...

I think you're in spring housecleaning mode, which is normal at this point in the year and this point in your weight loss. It's hard to be as close as you are to goal. Hang in there, Chris, and remember--you know what you're doing! You've learned so much over the past two years.

I've been struggling with the "quick fix mentality" for the past several months. I haven't been able to find any positives about it--in fact, it is exactly the attitude that got me this fat in the first place. I can't understand why I have been dwelling on it lately (I should know better), except that I feel a need for some significant weight loss--now! But I have also learned that consistency with a moderate diet will win the race every time. Right now I will be happy with 1 pound a week, because that's the reality of things for me.

Hanlie said...

I liked this analogy a lot. It may take you a while to get used to the maintenance, but you've got the right attitude, so I think you'll be fine. And your dryer will be fine too!

Putz said...

maybe i will stop worrying about you because you seem to have it all together<><><>i hadn't even thought of bluemia when and you had focused on it and know how to avoid it

Anonymous said...

Hey girl had to switch up and change my blog

Christine Jeske said...

I have some mental link traps I need to take a toothbrush to . . . .

Onward and downward!!! Chris Mafia is back at it. ;)

Christine Jeske said...

lint not link >.<

hmmm . . . ::looks around trying to avoid "link traps" now too::

bbubblyb said...

Yea, I've been feeling this way myself lately. Good post!

Anonymous said...

I really enjoy how you are able to change it up...if it is not working, next!!! You just get into a new groove.