3.14.2011

captain obvious-idiot edition

Hello all..
chris has decided she will be back tomorrow.
She also would like people to know she walked today and has been eating more and exercising less the last few days...why you might ask?
Well,
She has a theory about set points and weight loss.
So she 'resets' every three months or so.
One week of high eating low exercise...and miraculously, her body drops weight when she starts up again...easily.
It has worked every time she tried it..
For now she is letting me have free reign.

Sometimes It seems to Captain Obvious that the world is filled with idiots.
If evolution were fact...true fact...then how do these people wander around for years.
FOR YEARS.
Captain obvious feels God's grace is in there somewhere..
Not for everyone...at times there is simply too much idiocy to be overcome...

The angel in charge of said idiot can't keep up and then WHAM!! IT'S OVER.

So, without further ado..
Idiot move number one:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/travel/seaworld-trainers-prepare-to-go-back-in-the-water-with-orcas-1-year-after-colleagues-death/2011/03/14/ABP5B5U_story.html

Sea World Trainers are going back in the water with Orcas...
I don't think Trainers is the word we are looking for.

What is that word I am looking for?

Oh yes.
Chum.

moving on..

http://www.myfoxdc.com/dpps/news/offbeat/alleged-burglar-gets-stuck-in-hamper-dpgonc-km-20110312_12290453


He got stuck in the hamper.

If you can't beat a clothes hamper..perhaps a life of crime is not for you.

How about the life of an amoeba?

http://www.japanprobe.com/2011/03/15/tokyo-governor-earthquake-was-divine-punishment-ishihara_damare/

Way to go A hole.
Let's get this straight...the earthquake and tsunami were a form of divine punishment...
Not say....a subduction earthquake on a major active fault which sprang loose after years of tension causing a sudden upthrust where upon water was displaced and rushed inland slaughtering thousands of fellow human beings?
Perhaps?
.........
no.....
It's divine punishment?
Actually, I think the punishment is the fact that you are still here when so many others are not...
That is divine punishment. Or at least divine irony.

And last but not least..
While hundred and thousands of Japanese were running from the shore line...trying desperately to GET AWAY from a tsunami, you have one dude running towards the shore line.

this dude...http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/42024659/ns/world_news-asia-pacific/

My favorite bit:

A 25-year-old man was swept into the Pacific Ocean near the Klamath River in Del Norte County in Northern California. The man and two friends reportedly traveled to the shoreline to take photos of the incoming tsunami waves


Because when I hear there is a tsunami on the way, I know I MAKE MY WAY DOWN TO THE SHORELINE TO TAKE PICTURES.

Well, That's all the idiocy I can take today..
Obviously done,
Captain out.

7 comments:

Beginning Anew said...

hahahahaha - love it! Don't leave us...I was so happy to see your post! I think you are on to something about increasing the calories one day then decreasing the next. As long as I don't get out of hand, this has been my experience as well.

Robin said...

I know that all of those people who work at Sea World and such, do so because they really love working with animals. Training them. Learning about them, etc. C-Man talks all of the time about wanting to be a zoologist. I think that sometimes those science types don't have real great common sense. Excellent on the book smarts. Not so great on the other. And they want something so much that they tend to trust the powers that be when they say, "You will be safe. We have installed all of this great safe to keep you safe. Blah blah blah." I can't help but hope that it works out for them. Clearly, orcas are very smart. It is exciting to see just how smart and trainable they are. As for our hamper robber. Well, we just have to be grateful that they bad guys are just not all that bright. As you said, he really should have rethought that line of work before he started it. The Japanese guy better look out. He is living in a city with a whole lot of grieving, pissed off people. That is not what they want or need to hear. Very insensitive. And obviously not true. He is likely to find himself the victim of an untimely accident. What a shame. Some Japanese person might take that justa bit too personally. As for the dude running toward the tsunami for a photo... well, you just can't fix stupid. In rhis case, I don't think that will be a problem. Nature has a way of solving this; it is called natural selection or survival of the fittest. I do wonder what he was thinking as he was passing from this life into the next. Was it , "Man that was really stupid?" or "Now I won't get to see my picture." I guess we'll never know. If he was a redneck, his last words would have been, "Hey guys, watch this..."

Hanlie said...

Captain Obvious, you should get a TV show! Stupidity is rampant.

R. Reed said...

Oh how I concur on this whole post :0) I needed a laugh this morning and holy moly if this wasn't hysterical!

Seth said...

nice. o captain my captain -- classic work!

Putz said...

stand up comedy chris<><><>you are with my favoities seinfeld and lucy ricardo

'Yellow Rose' Jasmine said...

Niiice! As always, right on the money. Ever hear of the Darwin awards?! I think we have some new candidates here. I actually know the sister of one of the recipients. Yes, these people did actually exist. And I agree there may or may not be proof of evolution at work here.