10.11.2009

Knowing what you want...

I realized something tonight. Finding out what you want in one area can really lead you to looking at other areas of your life. I have alot of changes I need to make to be completely happy. Things that *gasp* I can't even talk about on this blog. Needless to say, it's personal. It's going to take me awhile to really figure out how to make things happen. In the mean time, I will just keep working on my weight. Hope everyone out there is doing well.

I did a three mile walk in 28 degree weather. It felt good. I ate 1750 calories, that's not good. I will be back down to 1600 calories tommorrow.

So resolution...it really is all about knowing what you want. Do you want years of resentment sitting there building up....or would you rather get it out. Even if it means that the relationship isn't the same anymore. Do you want to face your abuser and tell them how they made you feel. Do you want to tell your spouse about what it is you want. Or would you rather spend the next forty years waiting for them to die so you can be happy? Just a question.

You have to decide one way or the other, and if you don't decide, don't fool yourself...you've made a decision..a decision not to decide and hope that time, or inertia takes care of the problem for you. But, when you allow outside factors to dictate the outcome, it's rare that you'll get what it is you want. Physician heal thyself...

Sometimes factors are such that what action you CAN take, you can't take. Because the harm caused would be too great. In that case it's better to bide your time and wait. In other cases....DO IT NOW. life is short.

So, to move on....
Apologize....
Tell....
Yell....
Write...
Go out and Do it....
Call...
Stop...
Go...
Be...
Live...

Hugs,
Chris

11 comments:

Sean said...

hmm, turns out you weren't on my reader list thing, which explains why I haven't been seeing any posts, don't worry problem is totally fixed now, Sorry bout that. Just so you know, I put some ab exercises, good ones too, in my blog, unfortunately they happen to be at the end of long post, sorry bout that too, lol.

Anyways, I certainly hope that you can figure out all the changes that need to be made, and how to do it. I know that I've spent a ton of time trying to answer those questions, but then again I tend to WAYYYYY over think pretty much everything, hopefully you don't suffer from that problem because its a pain in the butt.

By the way, congratulations on the long walk, cold weather sucks, you are way braver than me. Have a wonderful tomorrow.

jo said...

Thanks for the comments you left--I did see both. =)

I read this and I think, "Are you in my head?" You have an uncanny ability to write what I think!!! It astounds me. lol

KrysTros said...

You are right and you are doing great with the working out and keeping up with calories. I can definitly tell that you will be where you want to be in the near future.

Casino Dealer Losing Weight said...

Chris- Your right finding out what you want, can really do spirals in your life sometimes. I wish I had an easy answer for you to the resolution. I do think its better to talk about it to someone, even if it isn't the abuser. A counselor or something.
Emmett
www.loseweightnowegould.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

Good on you for taking that walk - I wimped out. Excuse? I just needed that darn sun to come out.

I'm in a bide my time sort of situation. Just gotta wait. Strangely, I've come to peace with that because there's nothing else I can do (unless I want to hurt lots of people and be super selfish). Wait, wait, wait.

Happy Monday.

Brightcetera said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Cole Walter Mellon said...

I think it's fitting that "deliberate" is in the title of your blog, Chris. I'm a fast reader, a fast commenter, a fast typist... but I generally have to slow down and think when I get over here. I think that's a compliment.

Speaking of compliments, come over and pick up your award at my place. It's stinkin' the joint up...

Anne H said...

For me, I found that forgiveness is a key.
Not the "religious" kind, but the "SELF" kind...
I am learning to forgive myself for ever thinking that external forces somehow controlled me.

NewMe said...

You might be interested in the post appearing tomorrow on my blog.

InWeighOverMyHead said...

GREAT post.

Joania said...

This is an awesome post!! I absolutely love it!!