Had a good day.
I ate my allotted calories and did my allotted exercise.
We all have blogs we read...
I read loretta's all the time...you can find her in my side bar.
She wrote about being optimistic even when life is hard.
It isn't some fuzzy wuzzy optimism based on farting rainbows.
It's having faith even when times get hard.
I admire that, and Loretta.
I always have admired optimists.
I want to be one.
I am working on that.
I can come off as a hard @ss sometimes.
I know why, I don't give a lot of credence to feelings.
I decided a long time ago that feelings are good.
We need to feel them.
lOVE IS A GREAT FEELING.
It should be felt often.
Feelings are valid.
But I don't let them control me.
I am more of a pragmatist/realist.
When you grow up a certain way, certain things get pounded out of you...
The concept of 'fair'.
fair to whom?
What if the person doling out the consequences, the rewards, the punishments, gives two farts about fair?
If you are all caught up in fair, well....let's just say you could have some sort of mental break.
Wondering why life isn't fair.
Why people aren't fair.
me and my brothers have a saying...
Fair, what's fair?
It just is...
That is life 90 percent of the time.
I once had a very interesting conversation with a drill instructor.
I got to AIT and for some reason they singled me out for special treatment.
They caught me with a walkman (against the rules) and set out to make my 5 weeks there as hellacious as they could.
They picked the wrong person.
I had KP 15 separate times for things like 'dust on the bottom of my boots'.
So, he pulls me aside and says
"Private carpenter, do you think it's unfair that we singled you out when other people have been using headphones and haven't been caught?"
I just looked at him.
I said "I broke the rules."
He said "oh come on....you have to feel like it's unfair."
I said 'I broke the rules."
He said 'If you tell me who the other people are, We will let you off."
I said "I don't know what you are talking about."
Evil people will try to use your feelings against you.
So yes, feel them, but keep them in perspective.
I wasn't going to let him manipulate me.
The diet industry does this....
Yes...some people have a high metabolism.
I ain't one of them.
They try to play on your sense of injustice and impatience by selling you pills or special drinks.
When we all know what we must do.
Fairs got nothing to do with it.
it just is.
I have never wasted time on the idea that someone or something should have made me differently.
Or given me a different life.
here is my philosophy in a nutshell.
I can waste time crying about what I can never have...or I can make the best of what I do have.
I remember sitting in a marriage therapists office with my husband and the therapists asking us how we 'felt' about my husband's multiple deployments.
My husband and I had the same reaction.
It just is.
We don't feel anything.
We deal with it as a reality.
He couldn't grasp that concept...he thought we were being noble.
We couldn't grasp the concept that what we felt changed anything so WHY WASTE OUR TIME.
He said "it's important to feel the feelings."
I said "What feelings."
He said "perhaps perceived injustice."
I said "To what end?"
He says "To be in touch with them."
I said "What if the feeling is "it's just how it is."
he says 'That's fair I suppose."
Really, is it?
Would it being unfair or fair make it matter any more or any less.
Feelings are good...they can guide us.
They can also be deceptive.
I can feel like eating the face off a rabid raccoon.
but do I?
I hope not.
I can feel like whalloping the hoo out of my kid....do I?
No. Because that isn't parenting.
That isn't teaching.
Just because I feel like eating everything in sight, doesn't make it a valid decision.
Sometimes we have to go with what we know.
Not how we feel.
In fact...I would say that is 90 percent of life.
Doing what you must DESPITE how you feel.
learning that your feelings should never get in the way of living how you should, or doing what you should.
Doing what you know to be right despite how boring it is, or repetitive, or strange, or lonely.
Because you know it's right.
Even when it feels wrong.
That is why principles are so important to me.
There was time in my life when everything in me wanted to flee my marriage.
I felt alone, overwhelmed, betrayed, angry...
But the principle that guided me through that time was this...
If my husband hadn't beat me or cheated...I would work through the problem...
with the first two, leaving is an option.
Other than that...try and work through it.
It took a year.
It was confusing.
But we came out the other side intact.
and because I exist I will have problems.
To waste time pondering the relative fairness or unfairness of our existence has always seemed like a monumental waste of time to me.
Why waste time pondering what I can't change, when I could be changing what I CAN CHANGE.
Glad I am here. Glad I get to see some of this life before I shuffle into eternity.
I didn't have to get a shot at life, but God gave it to me.
I want to look back on my life and know I did my best daily.
Irregardless of how I felt.
So go out there and get it done.
I'm going to.