12.01.2010

No need to exercise with your butt hanging out...

Hello,
as you can see by the title, I have an issue...
With women who go to the gym with their butts hanging out.
I am not talking butt CHEEKS.
I am talking...the top half.
It's not that their butts are so large that they don't fit in the pants.
It's that they wear their pants_ as if they think_ flipping down the waistband to the point where their butt crack shows is "a good look".
Where I'm from it was called plumber pants.
Even worse is when you muffin top your plumber pants.
That's a two point deduction in the style parade.
So, there I am....on my precor efx.
Admittedly with lipgloss gracing my face (possibly irritating some of the hard core gym goers...in any case I am covered from head to toe...all the lady bits that is)
...humming along to whatever inane filler crap is on at 5 o clock in the afternoon...songs like "I am a drunk ho who washes her mouth out with a bottle of alcohol" etc. (I don't think that is the actual title of the song...but I was listening long enough to acknowledge that the protagonist of the song reminded me of a friend I had in high school by the name of sticky vicky)
anywhoozle.
Drunk ho stashes her bottle of jack in her purse because she can't leave the alcohol behind...giggle...she won't be coming back...(until the morning with a bad case of the clap)but i digress)
So I am pounding away when a gal walks by looking a little loose in the joints.
Don't know how else to describe it...it's like she is too lazy to put all the parts together into a cohesive movement and so she kind of shambles and shlumps along to the stairstepper in front of me.
off comes the sweatshirt and lo and behold
There is asscrackistan.
She lumbers onto the stair master and proceeds to give me and the people around me quite a show.
One inch turned to three as the wobble wobble wobble of her muffin top jiggled and joggled her workout pants...the word pink stretched mightily over her posterior...slipping lower and lower.
After about 6 minutes of this 'workout'....she finally realizes her pants are not ready for her jelly, so off she pops.
to meet up with her friend who is dressed in a similarly disturbing manner.

I only mention this because I didn't want to write another
Great day...blah blah blah post.
It was..
good intake 1560 calores
650 calorie burn...
day five of every day till may 18th.
going to walk tomorrow.
Do any of you have people who dress this way at the gym.
Maybe they should be studied.
Questioned...
darted, bagged and let loose at a night club.
Well,
Have a great night guys.
Chris out.

19 comments:

Amber said...

I had a few doozies at the gym too, sad thing it was 5:30 am. Who takes so much effort to look so bad that early in the morning?

I'm the bummy one, sweats, t-shirt, no make-up and tennis shoes. I'm there to burn, burn, burn, not scare anyone!

Some people really need the full lenght mirror from Snow White by their front door!!

funny post!
Night!

Sophie had a fun at the G.S meeting.

Khris said...

ewww ewww ewwww....maybe thats another reason I dont like gyms. I stay clear...would rather walk twice as long then go to a gym...lol
Hugs Khris

What I Say Matters! said...

They probably think they are cute and are trying to get a gym guy to pay them some attention.... attention they will get!

Andrea said...

Very funny! lol I have just found your blog some how, I love how you write! lol
Well I've never seen stuff like that at the gym, but I have seen people who dress that way. I will never understand why people do that?! lol

Deb Willbefree said...

lol! "two point deduction in the style parade" too funny.

One does have to wonder what they are thinking!

I'm glad I stopped in. Thanks for the chuckle and the nods.

Deb

Beth said...

LOL! Awful. I agree.

For a while here in London, the low slung jeans with the top of yer pants (er, known as underwear in the US) hanging out was all the fashion. Now that it's passe fashionwise, it's just known as being in bad taste. It's funny how these fashions come and go, one day having your belly hanging out and your underpants showing is cool, the next it's crass.

Still, either way, I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT.

Hilarious post.

Dawn said...

I'm not a fan of seeing the muffin top. I guess it's good that they are are the gym though so I look past it when I am there.

birchgirl said...

I am sure to offend someone with this, but what bugs me is seeing people reading a novel on the treadmill. I just don't believe you can really "work out" while reading. Put down the book! Exercise like you mean it! My opinion :)

Tammy said...

I spewed coffee all over my computer screen here at work when I read this, lmao...the thing that tends to burn out my retinas is when you're behind someone with low workout pants on...say size 28...and there's a size 4 bright pink thong sticking out of the top....oh that hurts, lol....

Helen said...

"Even worse is when you muffin top your plumber pants."

Thanks. I just snorted coffee up my nose.

TJ said...

HAHA! you crack me up....I don't wanna see any skin from any part of ANYONES body when I'm in public. lol

Megan said...

Asscrackistan. So Hilarious!!! Nasty.

Robin said...

I don't go to the gym, but I have seen them at the pharmacy and the doctor's office. Apparently they are all over the place and don't alter their appearance much. Go figure!

bbubblyb said...

You made me laugh. There use to be a girl that came to my gym that wore little tiny shorts and sports bra outfit, looked almost painted on, we are talking TINY. She had a cute little figure and I'm sure the guys enjoyed looking but I just thought what was the point especially when she never hardly worked out. Guess the older guy she was with wasn't doing it for her and she needed to be admired lol. I have seen some of the plumbers crack (name on butt) girls too lol. I think the men don't usually mind lol. I say to each their own, for me it's definitely all covered up and those fold down pants I fold that part UP to cover up the mid section lol.

Karen Butler Ogle said...

Crack doesn't turn me on either. I couldn't handle a gym. I have a treadmill here where I can exercise in relative peace.

Bringing Pretty Back said...

That is why I wear clothes that are a bit big! No one needs to see anything i have under those clothes! Believe me!
Have a pretty day!
Kristin

Bringing Pretty Back said...

That is why I wear clothes that are a bit big! No one needs to see anything i have under those clothes! Believe me!
Have a pretty day!
Kristin

Linda Pressman said...

Thank goodness Jazzercise is filled with people dressed very normally. I haven't even seen a bare midriff there in about ten years! I have never seen workout gear like you said, though! Probably because Jazzercise almost never has guys so everyone's behaving themselves!

Ice Queen said...

Bwahahahaha!!!

Asscrackistan! I am dying, here.

Thanks for a much needed laughathon. :D

My word verification is "roses". :D