Hey all.
Had a great day.
again..
someone gag a little
I have been having some good days lately (yeah me).
But...
I know how it is to struggle in this.
To have days when all you want to do is eat.
I have been seeing the struggle theme lately and I wanted to comment on it.
I have said I don't like to be negative.
But I do like to be realistic.
You can lose 100 lbs and then regain every. single. pound.
You can even be aware you are doing it.
but feel helpless to stop it.
I have an idea about how to stop it.
By stopping.
No, I am not being smart @ss.
I mean it..it's the only way.
By saying no.
The same way you say no to obnoxious men in bars.
Or to the local crackhead who wants five bucks.
or to your daughter when she wants to have a sleep over that includes boys.
Get back to the space in your head that tells you that food is your heroin and isn't something to be trifled with.
Because after doing this for 15 months...getting sidetracked for three (or five) months and then hopping back on the wagon.
I (through the grace of God) have maintained (in fact I made that a primary goal)...some of ya'll arent so lucky.
I have not said anything because I know that YOU KNOW.
Well...this is my blog so I can leave words and not single someone out.
But,
It's about making it serious again.
seriously serious.
heart attack serious.
move it back up the totem pole of life.
Say no to that cheese on your sandwich.
No to the sugar snack in the middle of your day.
(or buttered crackers ;OP)
declare anything but whole grain bread verboten.
instigate a 'must exercise 6 days a week' policy
CAP YOUR CALORIES AND DON'T GO OVER IT FOR ANYTHING..
NOT DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, BAD HAIR DAYS...
nothing.
And last, but definitely not least
Forget.
Forget your past success
Or you will coast on them.
Forget your past failures
Or you will get buried in them, in the shame.
Live in the now.
Today is all you can control
day by day.
Time will go.
Went to the gym and burned 400 calories on a stairstepper.
Tomorrow will be a big walk and situps...monday back to my precor and weights.
Have a good one.
See ya'll tomorrow
Chris out.
18 comments:
it's scary how easy it is to gain everything back, chris. but i guess for me, that's where faith comes in. i also wanted to say that i'm glad you liked the matt video. was it your first time seeing it? i can't believe i hadn't seen it before friday...
Here's the question I have (Answer it and you'll win the Weight-Loss Blogger of the Year Award): "How come your "NO" is working now?"
How would the advice in this post worked for you last month, or the month before that, or the month before that, or the month before that...? I remember you setting up plans and stategies month after month and not quite being able to pull them off.
I'm betting that during that time you said a lot of "No!" Yet, it didn't have the power then that your no has today.
Today the advice on this post would work for you--is working for you. Two or three months ago, not so much.
What changed? How does just deciding work NOW and it didn't before?
That's the answer I want.
I've been in the strong place you are now. I've thought what you just wrote. I felt so badly for those who weren't staying on plan and who were so upset. I felt badly because I knew that I had just been there and I knew how badly it felt. How hopeless. Desperate.
Yet, even feeling that, I could have written this post. Ignoring the fact that I didn't have the answer to why I was able to stick to my "No" then when I couldn't before.
So--Here is the question again in case my rambling explanation for it clouded it over: How is it that you can say and mean and follow through with your "NO" now, but you couldn't in the recent past? What is the key?
I could use that answer. Right now, my deciding isn't quite enough.
Deb
Hey.
I would leave this for you somewhere else..but I figure you'll be back here.
Here is what it comes down to...
I figured out what was yanking my chain.
It wasn't fear, it was anger.
I (even though I had set out in my heart to forgive him (my stepdad) I had a relapse.
I didn't know what that knot in my stomach was since june. I figured it was still fear of being noticed or fear of being hurt.
It wasn't.
It was anger.
I was angry.
I still wanted..just once to put him on his @ss...and for him to realize that it was a woman who did it...
and then I told a good friend Mary.
And she wrote a fictional note to Santa for me that broke me free of the anger.
Here it is:
Dear Santa,
For Christmas this year, I'd like you to bring me my former stepfather, Duane ___________. I'd like him to be sober, well-rested, and in good spirits. I'd like him to be wide-eyed and bushy-tailed and excited about the ride to my house. I'll be very polite and ask if I can get him something--coffee, perhaps. Then, after the lovely visit of recounting all the enjoyable times we had without him, I would like to calmly walk him to the door, thank him for coming, and knock the sonofabitch flat out on my little walkway.
Oh, and Santa, if you can swing it, could you possibly have one of the divebombing swallows that love to attack me possibly do a flyby shitting in his gaping maw as he lies unconscious on the ground?
Many thanks,
Chris
I laughed till I cried.
The knot was gone.
Just picturing it was enough for me.
So I would say.
What is eating you.
What is it?
What happened and how can you bring some closure to it?
Is it your mom?
Is it your time of life right now and everything that is happening.
Is it that weight loss didn't bring what you had hoped and now you need to find a new meaning for it?
I would love to answer the qeustion, but the only person who can answer it is you.
NO one would have guessed what my issue was until I dug it up.
And this is why weight loss, while seeming to be simple is no such thing.
It isn't just you struggling. You aren't alone. We are all just pushing through.
Hugs,
Chris
Ahhh, you see, Chris, you did have the answer. :)
It was the answer I knew, but was hoping that there was another.
I guess your post actually needs a Plan B addendum stating, "And if what this post just said isn't working for you, find out what's eating you and deal with it. Then reread this post and do it."
Because that's the bottom line. When we fall from that strong, just say no, place and can't get our no to mean no--there is a reason for that. No amount of will power and deciding will conquer it. Determined deciding is, in fact, just a trick to avoid our issue, except that it doesn't work.
I do know my issue. It's not that weight loss hasn't met my expectations--exactly. I mean I didn't expect it so solve any problems that didn't result from fat. :} I expected to lose weight, to feel better physically, fit into clothes, etc.
Anyway, my current issue (there's been so many!)is the one thing that weight loss gave me that I didn't exptect--I look like my mother.
I had pushed past my irrational fear of being below 175 (S'up with THAT?!), lost 6 more pounds and acheived seeing my mother's face in my mirror. I now look like I've aged 10 years since summer and look like the one person I never wanted to be--ever.
I came to a screecing halt right there. I just cannot get passed that.
Sorry for the bog hijack, but you were kind enough to answer my question without taking offence, so I felt that I needed to reply.
I DO wish you had a DIFFERENT answer, tho. :} Dealing with stuff is...sigh...nevermind. I need to go talk to God about this--you know, before I become a 252 ound woman who looks old and like her mother...
Deb
lol, that's okay...it was just as hard for me to suck up my sainted pride and realize I still wanted to lay a smackdown on the b@stard. It's why it took me five months to admit it. denial is a witch. You can do this. Get past it.
you are so hard core!! (and right) Good job encouraging others. You are a great role model for us all.
I've read all of this (and the comments) and am sitting here nodding my head. The thing that stands out the most for me is the 'forget past successes or you will coast on them'. Shit - you're right. I have people at work like that - you know, the ones who did one great project and never seem to have to work hard again as that's all Mgmt remember regardless of how lazy they are. They're gonna be stuffed if they go for another job. Wow. You've struck a chord with me tonight!
Great post and great comments. It truly does just simply come down to turning our backs on the food and setting the boundary firm and sticking to it no matter what because it's my life that I'm fighting for here, not to have a twinkie or not to have a twinkie...
For me the ability to "just say no" came when I FINALLY accepted that saying no was going to be uncomfortable and even painful and that there was no way around that. Coz, you know, this weight loss thing should be easy and pain-free, right?...
Just hope that I can hold on to the courage to face what needs to be faced to keep saying no.
Thanks.
Great post... great comment discussion!
It all comes down to choice. Not only to do the program, but like you and Deb talked about, finding our issues.
I guess it's like a three legged stool... with discovering and choosing to face our issues as one of the legs of the stool.
So much to learn...
Loretta
=^..^=
What an amazing post and commentary. Wow! I have been there too--I think we all have. What makes it work sometimes and not the others. I do think about the old cliche: "It's not what your're eating--it's what's eating you." Well I have had something eating me for most of my life, and a couple of years ago, it all took on a new life. This reminded me to deal with it--before it's too late! Thanks, Chris--and everyone else!
Wow Chris & Deb, that was an awesome exchange. I've been stuck since September...Except I don't know what's eating me....That is so frustraing!!! I am so willing to open the door and find out what it is. I want to move on...I don't like being stuck!!
I just took a moment and prayed. I asked the Lord to show me. All I could hear was that I was afraid to succeed and I'm fearful of failing. But here's the thing. If I do all I'm supposed to do, then I will succeed and won't fail. I'm just not willing to do all I can ~ EVERY DAY! I do a lot of stuff right, just not p.e.r.f.e.c.t!!! Yikes....I wonder if I'm stopping my progress, because I'm not doing everything perfectly? I mean I've lost 54+ pounds so far and did a lot of things wrong getting this far. Then in September, I realized that I should be doing more things - cleaner diet, more and harder exercise, more water. So I changed my strategy and my progress stopped. Really I should be losing more weight because I have cleaned up my diet, I'm working harder in the gym and I'm drinking gallons of water ~ still stuck...the stupid scale has hardly moved!!
What do you think?
Love it!
Having had a few bumps along the road the last couple of weeks, it's nice to be reminded to JUST LIVE TODAY's moments and focus on what I need to do right now. Then, JUST DO IT. Need a swoosh on my forehead...
I'm also stuck and struggling, and found the dialogue very interesting and helpful. I'm where Deb is, and Deb posted the question on my blog about what happened to the good place I was in several weeks back? Not in a mean way, but in a curious way. I'm not sure I do know my deeper issue either. Anyway - I'm writing a post in my mind as I write this, so best I head home and write it there. Thanks Chris - for your honesty and your progress. Both are inspiring.
The whole cleaning out the chicken coop business is a lot of work. I am glad that you have someone in your life who found a way to release the anger so that you could move forward. Being stuck is so frustrating.
OMG! I came by after reading Leslie's post because she and I are so often in a similar place at a similar time.
What most resonates with me about the post and comments is the questioning as to why things changed. I thought I was in a great place and had "it" all figured out and was cruising along thinking I had conquered my yo-yo dieting and suddenly woke up one day caught in the long slippery slope of regaining weight again.
As Deb asked, I had no idea why what was previously working was not working anymore.
I have asked a lot of questions through blogging this year. And still have no answers to most of them. What I do not know for myself is if there is really something "eating me" that brought me to this struggle again. Is there something I have not figured out. Or is it just a lifetime of bad habits.
Very thought provoking, ladies. Thanks for sharing.
Great stuff. Good, honest, real stuff. Most of us didn't get to where we are/were because of food, per se. We got there/here because we use food to deal with other stuff. It's that other stuff that will come back up unless it's dealt with.
OMG!!!
You pulled me up sharp with this post and discussion. There is s ripple going through my favourite blogs at the moment. Am I picking up on subliminal messages because I have been in denial for the past few months? Well this one was not so subliminal, it was sledgehammer strong. Thank You, I needed that.
I think the "why" behind the hard times can vary widely, too - it can be anything from not enough sleep to your kids driving you batty to unforgiveness (technical term) to the time of year. That last one is what's been tough for me lately. And I'm maintaining, which is fine. But I *feel* the struggle more than I have in a while, and that's tough. So I am working on introducing "no" back into my life in the ways that work for me. NO negotiating my workouts. NO random sugar just because I'm craving it. NO processed white stuff. Etc.
Great post AND discussion!
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