D2- Destructive thought patterns...why I harp on them.

Hey guys...Day 2 in the bag...well, it's not actually in the bag till your head hits your pillow...but my calories are sitting at 1100...(1460 was the total  yesterday) and I am having fish and three cups of veggies with an egg on top for dinner..that will bring me in at 1470 calories today... I like to give myself room in case I missed or mismeasured.  So anywhoozle...
Negative thought patterns..
I used to be the queen of them..
of course I didn't think I was being negative back then..I thought I was being  'realistic'.
I went back in time and what do you know...
I found some examples of my mindset from about a month into my journey.

Here are some of my self destructive thought patterns for the day. June 25th, 2009....
This was me explaining them and how I fought them.

1.) I will just take today off, and climb back on tomorrow. (we all know this one, it usually precedes a week long binge in which the 12.4 lbs you managed to whittle off your fat frame leaps back on at an amazing pace.)

2.) I don't want to walk today, it's too hot. (This one won until 8 o clock at night, it had cooled considerably and my little excuse was no longer true. Whatever else I am, I am a truth teller. I did only one mile. I am committing myself to two tommorrow, even if the sun tears my hide off....current weather prediction tommorrow...88 degrees, ugh)

3.) I will just try 'eating healthy'. I believe this little thought pattern is what bumped me off Atkins after about four months and 30 lbs. I was once down to 215. Eating healthy is usually and slowly replaced with "eating everything'. Just sayin'.

4.) Yesterdays walk-halfway through. My stinking thinking was in high gear. thoughts include "you idiot, how did you ever let yourself get so fat". Or, "Everybody who is driving by is probably thinking I look like a fat pig." and "Isn't it laughable really, the walking that turns me beat red is this teenagers normal pace'.

I actually had to say to myself; "Self, talking to yourself this way isn't going to do you any good whatsoever. Bad talk is what got you where you are, and at least you are doing something about it now. You are taking control of your future. This is all one day at a time."

And then I thought about all of that positive self talk, and what should pop into my head but Jack Sh*t's gettin fit blog....namely his June 17th "how to stop being a wally whiny britches blog.....and this little quote...."Try a daily affirmation, such as “Affirmations aren’t really as stupid and silly as I think they are.”

Then I laughed hard and stopped feeling sorry for myself.

 

I have said many many times that I understand the thought process people have..I know why they call themselves names..or why they feel bad..They feel like the let themselves down.

Well, talking that way is a sure way to defeat yourself before you even begin...

You have to stop that awful loop in your head..

The one telling you that you are ridiculous..That people think you look ridiculous..

The one telling you it's too late.

or it's too hard.

or your not strong enough..

or Jeez, after 50 pounds I am still fat!

lol..

That one will get to you too...if you have a lot of weight to lose..

especially women.

because you have been eating bean sprouts and lean protein for four months..and then some jagoff moos at you from his car.

And you think..

What's the point...

The point is...he will always be an idiot..

But someday, you won't be fat anymore.

in fact...that same guy might shout 'nice @ss." one day.

not that you want him to notice..

because you are too good for him anyways..

But still...

lol.

Start talking to yourself like you would talk to your very best friend in the world.

If you call yourself fat or stupid...say out loud.."stop it".

I did that yesterday..

after my car was wrecked.

I simply stopped myself from doing that.

It does no good.

It is harmful.

Make a new tape.

To replace the old one...

for every fat cow your mind utters...(oh, I wanted to write udders..lol...But I am being good)

say, I am doing this for me, and I am beautiful right now..and getting better all the time.

Don't just get rid of the tape..

make a new one.

I will talk a lot more about this.

That tape wasn't just made by you...but by many many people.

That is further down the road when we start identifying the lies we believe about ourselves and where we got the lies from..

But I hope you all had a great night.

I did..I got my whole body workout in..a one mile walk and 10 minutes on the arc trainer...awesome.

Chris out.