1.31.2012

D 7- What do you want your life to represent?

Hello all, 
Man have I had a strange day..
but also a catalyzing day.
Life is short.
too short to d*ck around.
I want my life to represent my beliefs and values.
I want to live my values daily..and apply my energy in a direct and effective manner.
I want to teach my kids how to do this as well.
When I was fat, I was so suppressed in my emotions...I couldn't even come to the realization that there was anything lacking.
Every day was just another day on the treadmill of life.
I had no goals or aspirations for myself..Just for others.
I didn't realize I lacked passion until I saw someone exhibit it.
Then I looked at me and wondered..what do I feel passionate about?!
At that point in my life, I couldn't even tell you my favorite color.
I can now...
It's turquoise.
I am coming up to a point in life where one of my daughters will be off to  college...
I will still have one at home..but life is changing.
I can't cling tightly anymore to what was...I have to move towards what will be.
It's time to find what I am passionate about.
I have three more years of homeschooling..
I don't intend to wait till I am standing in an empty kitchen, listening to the sound of my own echo,
 till I start figuring out what that is..
I start now.
I am finishing out the weight loss portion of this in may...not to quit something..
But to really begin maintaining and living.
I want to do my art..
But I also want to help my youngest find what she wants.
It's time to start moving towards, not away from.
That is what all this is really about...
Weight loss is just the beginning...
This challenge isn't about my rules..
It isn't about me at all...except the part where I take part.
This challenge is about YOUR LIFE.
What do you want it to represent?
You have to be who you truly are, to find out what you truly love..
and when you are eating your feelings, and numbing your emotions and ignoring what you body, your mind and your feelings are telling you..
well, pretty hard to know what direction you should travel.
This is about getting what you want in life.
Don't let anything get in your way..
Hugs,
Chris

6 comments:

Rettakat said...

This post really resonates with me, Chris. I've felt for quite some time that I needed to go TO something, not be getting away FROM something. I've been exploring that, and it's been great.. like a whole different feeling. Like an exploration, an adventure. What life SHOULD be like, I think. :-)

How great that your daughters are benefiting from this, too.

Robin said...

This one hits home with me. So much of my life is just getting by right now. I want more than that. A healthy life. A doing life. A living my dream life. There is a commercial on TV for migraine sufferers and it says that if you have 15 headache days a month you are living a "maybe" life. No kidding. I have had a migraine every day since 2002. Chronic pain kicks butt no doubt and steals things like passion and joy. So, once again, I feel the imperative to be a healthy person in order to get my life back. As you know, if you don't have your health... you don't have ANYTHING!!! And I have big plans that don't include migraines for the rest of my life!

Helen said...

Loved this Chris! As someone who has been where you are I just want to encourage you that the next phase can be all you want it to be. There are many good things about an empty nest!

Hanlie said...

Oh absolutely! I have long known that my weight gain was a form of escape - from a life I didn't want. Only now do I finally have the courage to start pursuing the life I really want - to feel well again and to be 100% authentic in what I say and do.

E. Jane said...

You are wise to know that you will be moving into another phase of life once the kids are out on their own. We have had an empty nest for 22 years, and those years have been just as good as the childrearing years (except for the weight struggles).

After our youngest left home and went to college, I went to college myself. We both earned our bachelor's degrees in the same year. I think life holds some wonderful things for you in the future, Chris, and you're weight loss is just the beginning!

Joy said...

So smart Chris to be thinking ahead and planning for when you're kids are gone. It's a hard and wonderful time. Just enjoy every minute you have with them. It's a precious time!

Keep focused!