D5-What I used to think about other people indulging..and what I think now...


this post was from one month into my weight loss journey....
I like this post, because it really clarifies my mind set exactly one month out from my day of epiphany...the day I realized I was fat..
It sums up, in a nutshell..all the reasons I 'wanted' to eat..
I felt I should eat..etc.
And they were all a mask for why I was really eating..
I was eating because it was easier than feeling.
I was eating because it is easier to cram it in than it is to leave it alone.
Nothing tastes that good.
Not really.
Nothing tasted good enough to make me feel tired all the time..
Nothing tasted good enough to sacrifice my health, simply to eat it.
There came a point when I could envision hitting the age of 60, and I am lying on a hospital bed with a heart attack..
And what do I say? What would you say when your kids are asking you what happened?
I didn't want to say; "A cheeseburger was more important than those next 15 to 20 years I could have had with you and the grand kids."
Or, even..."A piece of pizza was more important than living a life unencumbered by my weight and my health."
If I had kept eating because it tasted good...I wouldn't have had to say a thing..It would have been written all over my body.
It's like that old expression:What you do speaks so loudly, I can't hear what you are saying.
 I have been there..watching my children play while I sat on a bench while they begged me to play.
I would say I am too tired..
I said I loved my children..and I did.
But could I love them enough to stop using food like a drug?
Or how about my husband...I didn't feel pretty at all.
I didn't want him to see me in a swimsuit or any other way...
That damaged our marriage.
all that time I lost...I can't get that back.
But I can choose my family, and not food.
I can choose health.
I can choose to live and not just exist.
Eating more than you need, is simply not worth it.
The things I used to say morphed into..
I already ate that..
because at some point, I did.
There is nothing man has made that I have not eaten.
I have had what they are having.
I know what it tastes like.
I can eat whatever I want, whenever I want.
I just choose not to..
because I want health more than I want that ice cream, or soda...or pizza...or chips.
Nothing tastes as good as becoming the kind of  person I admire.
Nothing feels as good as showing the people I love that they are important enough to hang around for..to be healthy for...that includes Me!
When you eat well, and exercise..you are being your own best friend..
Love yourself.
Chris out.


Robin said...

Nothing tastes as good as becoming the kind of person I admire. love that.

E. Jane said...

Wow, Chris! Such truth and insight. This post says it all!

My name WAS Female, I shit you not! said...

If i have my health, I'd like to live longer than my dad. He was 82 and I'll soon turn 75. Seventy five IS YOUNG when you are healthy and can still get around good.
One hundred is my goal!
Gave up the butts four years ago and now it's time to be good to myself again.
I'm worth it!

Jamie said...

This is so true. Congrats on being successful!

'Yellow Rose' Jasmine said...

It must be true what they say about the friends you have having an effect on how much you weigh. :) Ever since reading you and Sean about the SCZ, I just can't justify going over my cap. While I am in maintenance and never fluctuate more than 5 pounds, it is always in the wrong direction when it does. I remember now how when I was losing I wouldn't even lick a spoon or have the last of something if it wasn't in range. It's good to remember why we did this in the first place. Yes, I am grateful to be past that but it's so important to remember and reflect. I told myself that I would never allow myself to wear the results of the things my family told me about myself ever again. Now I think I will not allow myself to think that good enough is good enough. I can do even better.

April said...

This so true. You think you know what you are doing as far as food goes and you happen to check the label and WOW! You realize that you have been doing it wrong.