embracing my femininity...and uncovering the real pretty....

(Somehow I don't see guys reading this post in droves)

So, I again went and Got my workout in this MORNING..40 minutes stair master and 2 mile walk..
A good workout.
Now, on to the title of my post.
I have noticed something.
This time, I am enjoying being thin.
I was thin right out of basic...but didn't truly appreciate it.
and didn't bother with makeup.
I still dressed like a guy.
In school I dressed in a lot of my brothers old clothes.
In high school I really never gave what I wore a second thought.

But I remember for years while i was morbidly obese thinking..
If I could just get thin, I would enjoy every minute.
I would walk around in those really pretty and feminine clothes.
The archetype of what I am talking about is the dress I saw Carrie underwood wear once.

It's the one on the right (although the one on the left is realllly cute)

Before I felt too big and cumbersome to be pretty and feminine.
I felt 'guy like'.
I was treated like a buddy.
I longed to feel pretty and 'delicate'. (no one puke)
I was so envious of women who were:
like susan lucci:

Here is the irony folks.
I spent years thinking I was 'husky'.
I had so much fat covering my frame I never felt my bones.
Now I am around 149-150 and I still have to push to feel my hip bones.
I think I am small framed.
Petite as it were.
I will naturally be a 4 or 6 when I get to my goal weight.
What is the problem now.
I don't want my oldest daughter to think that is the only kind of pretty there is...
Like I did.
There are these kinds of pretty:

All these women are beautiful in different ways..one in the most important way.

My oldest is 5'10.
She is never going to be petite.
But she is still beautiful.
inside and out.
So, getting the inside to match the outside...well, I have been working for years on the inside...it was getting the outside to match it that was the issue.
I am almost where I want to be...
NOw it's time to embrace the new outside of me.

So I am starting to learn how to dress ME.
on to the shallow part of this post.
I have been clueless up till now about clothes.
The first thing I realized...once I hit a size where cute clothes were the norm and not the exception...was that I had no clue what kind of clothing I liked.
Up till then, I wore what didn't make me look heinous.
I had no idea what
suited me.

So it has been a series of trial and error..
I like v necks and scoop necks....not a rounded collar.
I look better in fitted clothes because I am 'tiny'.
If I wear boxy clothes, it just looks like I am chunky..
a size c chest on a short waist needs to be defined.

Floor length skirts square me out and eat my height.
just above or just below the knee work much better for me..
either A line or fitted.
Although to be fair I haven't tried a balloon skirt yet.
vests are a no no..
jackets with fitted sleaves and a fitted or tailored look that hit at the waist are a yes.
boxy jackets that hit below the waist are a no.
Turtlenecks are a NEVER.

My best colors are pinks and corals, oranges and yellows ...
Not green.
It makes me look jaundiced.
I used to think dark lipstick looked good on me...
now I know light lipstick and a dark eye are a better look.
I look better with layers in my hair.
I look better with a lighter hair color and defined brows.
I use lotion, I scrub my face...I use moisturizer on my face.

It's like I am reliving my teen years...only as a 36 year old woman.
I am going to enjoy trying new things.
What have you discovered about yourself as you have lost weight.
What are you enjoying more.
If and when you lose your weight..
What is the one thing YOU want to try.
If you have children,
What do you want them to know about true beauty?
Well, have a great night guys.
Big hugs,


Robin said...

Something that will help you with this ~ and your daughter, too ~ is TLC's show WHAT NOT TO WEAR. They work with people of all body types and (one person per show) and help them see what looks best on their body type. I learned so much watching that show. They also address hair and makeup. The makeup person is a less is more kind of woman (in case you were worried). The idea is to bring out your natural beauty. Make up is meant to enhance what you already have. Stacie and Clinton can be very brutal in the beginning, particularly if the person that they are working with is just not listening. People are resisitant to change. However, it is amazing once they accept what they are saying and start trying on the clothes that they say will look good. It is so EYE OPENING because it totally changes how their body looks. It is flattering. This has the potential to be a wonderful lesson for you and your daughter. Not everyone is the same, but everyone is beautiful. It is all about making clothes work FOR you and not AGAINST you. ((Hugs)

P.S. Thanks for the encouraging comment on my blog. Most of the time I have a handle on things. I am mostly reconciled to stuff. The one thing that KILLS me is that I am BREAKING my parents. What if I can't get well before it is all too late? My dad is in his 70s and my stress literally kills him? And then it all falls on my mother and I know she already feels like she's drowning. And stress is the things that keeps my migraines in play. It is just this vicious circle. It is hard going on when I know that there lives would be better wihtout me. It just wasn't supposed to be like this. I was supposed to be not only financially independent, but in a place to take care of THEM. I don't even know why I am saying this to you. It doesn't change anything. I am full of the other "f" word. Frustration. And a really bad migraine. That is a lovely combo.

Amber said...

Glad you are finding out what you like and what looks good on you!
And it is working! Each time I see you, you do look good. So go girl!!!

Not sure if I'll ever get to the point where I care a whole lot about my clothes.
I never have and don't think it's a part of who I am. I still think sweats, jeans, t-shirts, running shorts and tank tops should pretty much cover the entire wordwrobe thing. (it does for me) lol

I guess I will try to fix myself up here and there. But not too often, someone might think I've gone "girly" ohhh scary!

Don't laugh at me! You know me, jeans and t-shirt for everything!

Great post!

Karla said...

I am getting to this place, only I am 50!!! mad I waited so many years, but oh well.... ALL my clothes are too big, pants, shirts, underwear, bra's the entire closet, but I have 20 pounds to go until I get to my personal goal. It still feels so weird not to have to pull the XL from the pile and pray it fits... may take a while to get used to being smaller. I love your blog and read it regularly. You have come so far and have so much to be proud of. :)

Purple Cow said...

WOW! I love this post. Your depth shows even when you are writing about shallow! That's all-round beauty in my books!

My daughters...what I want them to know about beauty is this:- That they should be healthy - eat right, exercise and respect their body as much as they respect themselves.

Everyone is too wrapped up in "plastic" beauty but that's just ephemeral bullshit. REAL beauty is the hard-earned kind. And is accompanied by good taste and classiness. Seems to me that you are an inspiration to us all in that department.

Audrey Hepburn of course said it more eloquently than any of us ever could:

CHECK IT OUT: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1H6nvdmC4Sw

Fiona said...

I have picked out a 'stylist' to go shopping with once I get to a happy size! I have NO idea what suits slim me even less what I like!!

Tammy said...

I don't think I'll ever have any kids, but if I do, I want them to know about inner beauty and just how important it is. I want to teach them not to hate...not to judge...I want them to become beautiful people from the inside out. If they happen to be blessed with a super high metabolism, never experience a stretch mark, and have fantastic outer beauty, well....good for them. :)

I'm My Favorite said...

I feel like I'm the prettiest I've ever been in my life. I'm not the thinist I've ever been, but like you, I'm learning how to dress myself now that I have more options than just what fits. I know how to wear my hair and makeup. I get compliments all the time on my new outfits and I even got whistled at this morning at the gas station. I feel like a teenager again too.

Putz said...

i am the first male to comment>>>are you interested??????i love to dress in frilly pink dresses>>>no, i reallly don't>>>i love the song that greets me on your blog>>>oh i got off the subject there>>>i guess you are right>>>me a male and not interested in fashion, and that is what you are talking about here>>>hair, makeup, who is that guy rapping on your blog?????

Dr. Fat To Fit said...

I think about this question with my kids all the time. I want my kids to understand how important it is to be healthy, but not be overly vain. I want my kids to enjoy looking good, but realize that beauty is as beauty does. I can't wait to experience the things you are with enjoying your girlie side.

bbubblyb said...

This is the hard part for me. Great post Chris. I want my kids to know true beauty really is on the inside but being proud of the outside is ok too as long as you do it with grace and style.

Putz said...

i think i was THE ONLY male to respond to dear chirs

The New Christine said...

I need to answer this in a post form. I do worry about my girls, I worry about them having to suffer with body image. I will post at some point today.
Thanks for the writing assignment!!

Garen said...

Me too! I have spent so many years trying to as you said wearing clothes that were not heinous on me that I have No idea what works. I had girlfriends this past summer work with me as personal shoppers to say yea or nay to EVERY piece I bought (and I bought a few). But still not sure what works for me yet - guess that will come with time. Closer to my goal but not there yet .

M Pax said...

I call my look 'authorette'. LOL I try new hair a lot. I've been much braver about it. It's only hair. It grows back.

Mostly I like how i feel. I appreciate that more than anything else and cherish it.

Anonymous said...

I really try not to focus on the external, especially exclusively. For example, when someone says, "Oh your granddaughter is so beautiful." I say, "And she is such a wonderful kid, with a great personality. So loving. So affectionate." It's like, what, do you get points only because you're cute?

True beauty to me, is someone who can make me laugh; a sparkle in the eye; someone who thinks of not just themselves, but others.

But laughing...that's my #1.

Guess that's why I think you're beautiful too.

Rettakat said...

I've been thinking about your post since I read it last night... it makes me kind of sad that our culture emphasizes so much the 3 B's.

Beauty, Brains, and Bucks

True beauty must be from within... I've seen so many women the world would label as beautiful that looked... hard, unhappy, mean, or sad, etc.

It always bothers me that we are so worried about whether or not we are "beautiful". Come on, we are not all physically beautiful! We can be neat and clean, nicely dressed, smiling and cheerful, a joyful person pleasant to be around... yet little girls watch tv and want to be beautiful, not kind, or generous, or joyful.

I love that you are teaching your girls the balance. That's a wonderful gift! To make the best of our outward appearance, absolutely. But to treasure that inner beauty that doesn't fade with time.... priceless.


Diana P. said...

I'm naturally really girly. I love dressing cute and doing makeup. I will be SO excited when I'm in a size that, like you said, "cute is the norm, not the exception".
With 24 pounds down, I am finally feeling more confident and like I can actually be cute and pretty again.
Yay for finding and expressing our femininity! :)

outdoor.mom said...

pretty dresses :-) i want to pierce my belly button if its ever flat and muscular looking!! My husband isn't all about that one though ;0) i want my kids NOT to struggle with these same weight issues....

AJ said...

I have recently taken a look at my body since the loss of several pounds. I noticed actually that I have an ass. It used to go from back to legs like a flat board of fat but now I actually have an ass that I can kinda be proud of. But then it is back to the real way I see people. I know people need to view others as they should see themselves.

I work for Macy's and not only is it my job to secure the wellbeing of the company but the customer is my main priority. And it has given me the unique insight on how everyone sees the general populous.

Instead of people going for the major fad that they see in magazines and on TV I get the opportunity to point out the items and style that not only seems more realistic but show people the "looking good" doesn't mean checking out what hollyweird is doing in terms of fashion.

I'm not a fashion guru and my superiors at Macy's knows it. They respect and are also impressed that my closet consists of Mark Ecko and Dickies Brand clothing and I make it work.

I look better than I did in years past. Because I went with what I have always enjoyed and kept it real.

You can experiment all you want with your style or fashion sense.....but if it gets to frustrating then remember that dressing "Boy" style kept you looking real and has it's own special area of sexy that most can't touch....enjoy yourself

Linda Pressman said...

When I was fat all I ever did was shop for purses and shoes. Even though my weight's been steady for a long time, I have to say that style is still something I have problems with. I know the lengths, fittedness, and all that, but a true fashion sense is something I think I'll always lack. Of course, it's a vast improvement over the way I used to dress, to hide my body, but still.

Michele said...

Great post. I believe my children, all adults, all recognize that beauty is not just skin(ny) deep and come sin all sizes and flavors. But, they also recognize what healthy is and what that looks like. They see the difference in me as I work to regain my health by shedding pounds.

When I am at the point you are where buying clothes that are cute are in my size, well, I hope to find out what lacy, chiffony things feel like. And Yes, I hope to find my feminine dresser within!